Yesterday was a mix of fun and a little bit of a bitchy mood at the end of the day. My dear friend Ryan invited me to spend the day with her family and I did. We had some really yummy food and it was fun to watch the water balloon fights rage on. We even went to see Transformers, which is a neat movie and I enjoyed it.

The bitchiness came in when we walk outside the movie theater last night to a sky full of exploding fireworks. It brought back a 10 year old memory of my first kiss with the ex-hub. We were hanging together on July 4th in Denver. We were saying goodbye when he swooped in for a kiss and fireworks went off overhead. It was a joke between us that we saw fireworks when we had our first kiss. Such a sweet memory if I could erase the 8 years of hellish marriage that followed. I could still feel the softness of that kiss on my lips last night and it made me sad. Then I got mad at myself for feeling sad about that long gone memory. That memory may never fade and it will certainly crop up every year on the 4th. I resent that! I do so want to leave the past behind, but it takes something like this to make me realize that for better or worse I will carry that visceral memory with me probably to the grave.

I think next 4th of July I am going to plan something really awesome--a trip somewhere with someone special and we will have some mind blowing sex and maybe, just maybe, when I see fireworks as I have the big O, the memory of the kiss will explode into a shower of colors that fades quickly in the decent to earth.

The good news is my paper is done and being reviewed! Yeah! Now I just have to hit the books and cram for the next 15 days for the biology exam on the 20th.

A ghost from the graveyard popped up this evening: Joseph sent me an IM to tell me how sexy I am and that he hoped I was doing well.....hmmm wonder if a phone call will be next? Maybe this is his warning shot before he comes charging out of the gate full force.

Labels: Joseph, July 4th, memories

Much to his chagrin and not a little bit of eating his heart out....I managed to escape Joseph's putting on the charm for a booty call in exchange for fixing poor laptop. The thing about old lovers is they know what works and he knows that I adore having my face caressed and hair brushed back gently off my face. It was his signature move on me in the beginning of our relationship and what melted my heart. He moved in for a goodbye hug and segued into a passionate kiss coupled with the signature moves. For a millisecond of time I let myself suspend in the passion of his kiss, but the voices (Jadey's most particular) were screaming to get the hell outta there. So I listened to the voice of reason and pushed him away. I told him "This is just about a booty call and I deserve so much more than that." He agreed and I said goodbye. As I was backing out of the parking space I looked up and he was on the sidewalk just staring after me. He showed up yesterday morning at my apartment with my laptop in tow...fresh and fixed. I fixed him coffee, wrote him a check and he lingered. He told me I was incredibly sweet and had the power to change a man. I told him I did not have that kind of power and that a man should change for himself and not someone else. He is lonely you see and I guess missing his unpaid babysitter. Eating his heart out for letting me slip away in a careless whim. Yes, there is satisfaction in seeing that and no regrets for not being lured in by the Joseph charm once again.

I had the locks changed on my apartment this week when my BlogLover pointed out that 27A psycho could have put in a webcam. I don't think he did, but why chance it. Then as if there has not been enough on the man front this week, Latin Lovah psycho resurfaced. This is a transcript of the bizzare IM chat we had:

----- Our chat on Wed, 6/6/07 3:56 PM -----
latinlovah (3:44 PM): hello

SassyDragon (3:46 PM): hi

latinlovah (3:46 PM): what is your first name ms dragon

SassyDragon (3:47 PM): Sassy

latinlovah (3:47 PM): what is your name on yahoosingles , is that your first name

latinlovah (3:48 PM): can you post your foto on messenger

SassyDragon (3:48 PM): Luis, this is Chris

SassyDragon (3:48 PM): don't think you intended to talk to me again

latinlovah (3:48 PM): what

SassyDragon (3:50 PM): the last time we chatted you said it would be the last...maybe you clicked on my IM name by mistake

latinlovah (3:51 PM): dont know what you mean

SassyDragon (3:52 PM): we met for coffee & dinner several weeks ago.......do you remember that?

latinloavh (3:53 PM): your from va.

SassyDragon (3:53 PM): yes

latinlovah (3:53 PM): what happened with your new beau

SassyDragon (3:53 PM): what do you mean?

latinlovah (3:54 PM): you said you had reconnect with an old flame

SassyDragon (3:56 PM): yes

SassyDragon (3:56 PM): and the last time we chatted you said you were never talking to me again

SassyDragon (3:56 PM): so I guess I am confused

I thought this chat would be the end (again)! But nooooooo he resurfaced last night to ask to be added to my yahoo messenger list. I blocked this wackjob. I guess it could be said that Sassy has gotten her psycho-magnet mystic back. Diane of Martinis for Two could certainly tell you how powerful a pyscho-magnet a much younger Sassy was. She has the stories that would make your hair curl (sadly, they never made my hair curl despite living the reality...I had to get perms for that). Mama always said that a sense of humor was worth its weight in gold and thank god I have that in spades! I need it to put perspective on the weird shit that goes on in my life. BlogLover says he finds me tortured but I told him it was more like haunted, but at least I could laugh about all the damn craziness. I don't think BlogLover has ever had quite so much drama in his existence....do you really think you can handle it, BlogLover? I hope I am not one of your scientific experiments.....tee hee, but damn it sure is fun if it is.

Labels: 27A, BlogLover, Joseph, Latin Lovah, psycho-magnet, psychos

The Joseph saga continues. Karma has plans apparently: Monday nite one of Mandy's toys appeared out of nowhere, I think the cat dragged it out of hiding. I emailed Joseph with three options: 1)I mail it to him 2) I drop it off at his best friend's house 3) I trash it. He responds with option 4: he comes and gets it. So I said, "whatever, just let me know". Apparently, the subtle nuances of my lack of interest in him have gone right over his head or maybe he thinks he can win me over on sheer charm. So, he is coming over this week supposedly to get the toy and I decided to keep this meeting to my advantage so I asked him to fix my lappy.

Latin Lovah was silent all week until last night. The chat perplexes me: he started out by apologizing for his behavior and comments and then we chatted a few more minutes and he said he would never be speaking to me again. Lord save me from such men in the future!!

27 has signed up for latin ballroom. I am flabbergasted! All the guys I have gone out with have made motions about doing that and I just say "sure, sure". This guy not only says it, but he takes the bull by the horns and signs up for lessons. He wants to be able to dance with me he says. He is really going over the top to impress me just for booty (which he has not gotten!).

27B has come along...he is a teacher , aged 27, and he popped up this week. Seems like a nice guy, nice looking, smart...we are going on our first date tonight. Downside: he currently lives with parents to save up for a house. He told me I would probably run now that I know that....I said I would give him a chance. He has no children and no psycho ex-wives so both of those are positives.

Apparently, I am very popular with the 25-30 age group and the other end of the spectrum 50-65 age group.

I did not get to break up with Hot College Guy before his return to India for vacay. He unexpectedly left the evening we were going to meet. I know he is planning to visit his ex-girlfriend while he is there so I am keeping my fingers crossed that he decides to reunite with her & break up with me....save me from doing the dirty work.

I got an email from a fellow on Match.com. This is what he wrote:
"I enjoyed reading your profile - now that is how a profile should be written. It speaks volumes about you and your intelligence. I hate the ads where the woman starts out saying, "I'm attractive". You hit the nail on the head - there is so much that goes into attraction and its a personal thing (what someone likes - others may not). Intelligence plays a big part and I can tell you got it going on. Anyway - I"m not as match on several levels according to the match thingy and the fact that I have children which you prefer men that don't. I'm just the opposite, I prefer women that do. I just felt compelled to write and compliment. It was refreshing to read. Good luck in your search."

Isn't that too cool???

Last nite I surprised my friend Bea with tickets to see Juanito Pascal. He is a flamenco guitarist. He had a flamenco dancer with him. I now want to learn how to flamenco. I met Juanito after the show and got his autograph. He is so very nice and talented. Check him out if you get a chance.

Have a great weekend and I hope to get back to reading everyone's blogs....Utenzi's especially!

Labels: 27B, dating, Hot College Guy, Joseph, Karma, Latin Lovah, Mr. 27

So Latin Lovah....no chemistry in person...at least not on my part...he thinks he has found total package and I found: Excellent kisser, great romancer, whiner. Put an end to that situation tonight. He got real jealous and I am like "dude, we just met, we are getting to know each other".

Here is some interesting gossip: I am driving back from NC meeting Latin Lovah and my cell rings. I almost drove off the road when I read the display: JOSEPH. So curiousity got the best of me and I answered. He apparently saw the picture of me with my nieces that I posted to my online account and called to tell me that "you are a vision of loveliness" and "you are such an inspiration to me". Asked me to call him soon. Guess the man needs a booty call and he thinks (mistakenly) that I have been sitting around pining for him. He is about 2 months too late with this phone call. Not even tempted....the 2 month cycle just doesn't work for me.

Been speaking regularly with both Adorable and 27. 27 has kinda grown on me. I miss his text messages every half hour. Adorable may be coming to visit very very soon (let it be real ssssoooooooooooon). Hot College Guy has not bought the clue like I thought...he is pining away for my company and maybe a booty call before he heads home for several weeks. I just need to bite the bullet and tell him its over....Wednesday nite? The nite before he goes? I am just not sure of the timing...it seems kinda cruel, but then there is never a good time to break up.

Labels: Adorable, dating, Hot College Guy, Joseph, Latin Lovah, Mr. 27

I got some sage advice from Mz. Boho on my prior post so I decided she was right...I need to work on my visualization skills....and who knows??????



I have been working out about two hours every day (today is a rest day). I have been doing aerobics, yoga, pilates, ballet, modern dance, the ballroom dance...anyway, last nite my friend Jadey and I are working out and we decide to go grab some food. Initially, we headed for Panera's because we were both still dressed in workout gear...for me that is yoga pants, tank top and snazzy sports bra peeking out...with flashes of some toned abs appearing occasionally. I changed into my high heels with the outfit because the tennies were getting on my nerves. Jadey decides we should see if this hip little place downtown will let us in dressed as we were. They did. We had an incredible waiter, Matt, give us awesome service. This guy was fabbo and great body, gorgeous, lots of personality....Jadey talked me into leaving one of my biz cards with a message on the back to call me if he was interested in going out for a drink. I wake up this morning and check my phone as is my typical habit....damn if there isn't a text message from my gorgeous man....and damn if I missed the opportunity to hook up with him last nite...so I sent text back...hoping to see him tonight after my dinner with Larry the Cable Guy. I am so very attracted to him and I haven't felt this zing in quite some time. Here is hoping for an awesome meeting with him.



Mr. 27 is most attentive (wonder why?). He has wanted to monopolize me every evening, but I have let him know I am busy and he can only have small allotments of time. He is okay. I just don't feel that "thing" with him and unfortunately he feels it for me.



Tomorrow night I have to bite the bullet and have dinner with Joseph's best friend. He is hounding me to death. He wants to take me out in payment of doing his taxes...I just want to let it go, but he is not about to. He wants to date even though I have told him there is no way in hell that will ever happen. Do you think if I pick my nose or drop the "f" word a million times during dinner that he will stop thinking that I am the epitome of the perfect woman??????



PS-the pic is me & my nieces....I saw them last weekend...I love those girls like crazy!!!

Labels: dating, Gorgeous Waiter, Joseph, Mr. 27

I have a full dance card this week and it is nice. However, next week I am conflicted on how to handle something. You see, Adorable Country Boy is working nights this week so we chat in the morning. Hottie College Guy and I chat at night before bed. Next week Adorable is back to days...of course this may be a moot point if I run screaming from him Sunday. I just am not sure how I will juggle them if I continue to see both of them. None of them know about the other. Plan to keep it that way as long as possible or until I add a few to the graveyard.

Hot College Guy is actually in the lead at the moment. Surprising me most of all. He is from India and I like the exotic. He is very modern in his views and I enjoy the intellectual stimulation I get from our conversations. We are going out on Saturday nite. We seem to have a comfortable friendship and there is more to him than I first thought. Who knows what the hell will happen? I sure have no clue and well, don't need one at the moment. Just want to enjoy the ride.

I think Adorable will go by the wayside though. I will absolutely keep the date this time, but despite the sexual tension between us...when I compare our conversations to Hottie well, they lack something. And if he does have the deep country accent in person, well...I just can't deal with that. I have been searching for a way to let him down gently should I need to (maybe he won't even like me in person!). Should I tell him I am shallow and can't understand the accent? I just don't know if honesty is the best policy here...suggestions???

The rest of the dates this week are not very serious to me. I never thought I would take such a view of dates with men, but there it is for all the world to see. And, tomorrow nite is the meet up with Joseph to exchange our residual belongings. I will be coming from Larry the Cable Guy date and originally I was planning on going in jeans, but I think I will dress it up. I don't want Joseph back, BUT to see him pine for me just a little or see me look amazing for someone else...guess the little revenge bug is on full display here.

Labels: Adorable, dating, Hottie, Joseph

Fatman you can rest easy...all bets are off and the dating ditties will resume directly. I know you missed all the tales.

So the Sassy-Joseph dynamic just could not sustain under the pressure of the imitation of a real life. We did the mutual parting ceremony tonight which will be followed up by a brief blip at his apartment on Sunday as I gather the handful of belongings I left there. Well, the upside is no more drama and the downside is the sexlife is as pallid as ever. I guess I should be grateful that the last several months included more sex than any of the 38 years prior.

On a brighter note, my hair is getting longer and blonder. It should be the perfect length for Ryan's wedding in the fall for a girly swirly up-do. I am interviewing escort candidates for the big event so get your application in early all you single guys (yeah...I see that line being on the short end of long). Oh well, I have never had a date for a wedding so why break that lifelong cycle now? Just give me several bottles of champagne and I will dance the night away with my invisible friend Fred.

Labels: Biker Dude, Endings, Graveyard, Joseph

I am not a cold weather person. I hate snow. Okay, I don't hate it, but if I had to decide between the tropics or Arctic Circle, the tropics will win out hands down.

Joseph, his girls, his brother, a friend, and I went to a well-known ski resort in WV over the weekend. When I tell you that the four year old started up with the "Are we there yet?" about 15 minutes into the trip (this, despite having a dvd player and 50+ movies to watch), that should give you a good idea of how the entire adventure went. This was just a day trip thank God! We got to the ski resort (finally) in the beginnings of a mini-blizzard. I was not along to ski, snowboard, or snow tube. I was pure arm candy with my full-length faux leopard coat garnering some approving glances from this group of Latinos in the bar. I brought some trash mags, a Janet Evanovich novel, and my laptop. I was rubbing my hands thinking of the blissful hours I would have alone while 1/2 the group snowboarded and the rest (Joseph & Mandy) played in the snow. This was not to be, alas! I had a screaming 4 year old and a very grumpy-fighting-off-the-flu-40-year-old. Frankly, as I sat there watching Mandy throw herself on the floor in a tantrum and Joseph so ill as he looked like he was going to pass out, I just wanted to be...elsewhere. Specifically, a place with pink beaches, brilliant blue water, a hammock, a private waterfall, a cabana boy named Nick to cater to all my whims, and a never ending supply of French martinis. That is how I coped with the trip from hell. It was so bad that Joseph asked me the next morning as I headed out to work whether I intended to come back--ever.

I just don't get the whole ski thing. I see myself in a full-body cast when I contemplate strapping two very slick, tiny pieces of wood to my feet and racing down a hill trying to avoid trees, rocks, and other skiers. I mean experienced people have died skiing and I have trouble walking down a flight of steps without landing on my face I am so klutzy. I just can't do body cast with three flights of steps greeting me each day when I come home. And don't get me started on the cold and wet! I am a water baby--a warm, beachy water baby. Give me Hawaii, Aruba, Tahiti and I am yours forever.

I did get two compliments from Joseph this weekend: he told me that I have spectacular breasts and that I was "Total Package". He said it just doesn't get any better than me because I am real special and sweet. So that sort of rescued the charred remains of the weekend. Maybe my cabana boy will be named Joseph.

Labels: boobs, Joseph, Mandy, skiing

Whew! Survived the weekend!!!! I started to work for a new client and it went very well and it looks like this project may result in more work. Woo hoo!

Joseph finally spoke to me and gave me details on what is going on with him regarding his perpetual bad mood. It appears he has been very ill and trying to hide it. We are hoping it is simply walking pneumonia or bronchitis. Anyway, he told me he looks forward to every minute he spends with me and that I am a haven from stress. He also has promised a post-Valentines romantic weekend when my schedule frees up. So he has been saved in the eleventh hour from the Sassy Dating Graveyard. He has been very affectionate and more attentive since our conversation.

Speaking of STBS Day, I got a Valentine's balloon today...from the office Lothario. Before you get the wrong idea, let me explain. You see Lothario is 45+ and married. He is carrying on an affair with the 20 something engaged receptionist (aka Half-Wit). Discretion is really not a part of their vocabulary as everyone knows about the affair, but they have fooled themselves into thinking that it is on the downlow. It must be this frame of mind that prompted Lothario to buy all the ladies he works with a balloon so he could also buy Half-Wit a balloon with no comment. I wanted to hurl when he gave it to me, but I smiled and thanked him ever so sweetly as he stared down my blouse the whole while. Ah, true love!

Saturday was a fun day as I took Joseph's teen on a beauty day. We got massages, manicures, pedicures, and eyebrow waxes. When we were done with our day of beauty we hooked up with Joseph and his best friend for dinner. We went to Outback and we sat at the bar because of the 2 hour wait for a table. While we were waiting for our food, the teenager got a call from her current love interest so she disappeared to talk to him and that left an empty seat between me and Grizzly Adams. Grizzly took a shine to me and was working hard to pick me up despite the clear evidence that I was with Joseph (was it the kissing that gave that away????). Well, Joseph thought the situation was hysterical and told me I could always ditch him for Grizzly.

It must have been my weekend for pickups because the next night, Joseph, teen, & I went out to dinner and this guy comes in with his pre-teen daughter and is seated next to us. He starts talking to us, but mainly he spoke to me and looked only at me and flirted with me. Again, I am clearly with Joseph so I am wondering "What the ????". As I am looking and talking to this guy I am thinking he looks a bit familiar...it was not until I got home that evening that I realized he was one of the internet potential dates that I kicked to the curb when Joseph came along--OOPS! I don't think Joseph found the second attempt to pick me up while with him quite so humourous, but I sure did!

Last night I got roped in by my friend Jadey to teach her fitness class. I tell you--it has been a million years since I have done that and I felt so awkward. Fortunately, I had some help and the ladies in the class were very forgiving AND I think I may have found a dance partner. Rob, a personal trainer, works for my friend Jadey. He helped me with the fitness class last night. Anyway, he is a luscious piece of arm candy with an incredible body, handsome face, and Sweet! He wants to learn ballroom dance so we may be doing a trade--personal training sessions for dance lessons. We shall see how that all falls together. I can get a buff bod and he can learn how to impress the ladies on the dance floor--works for me!

Lastly, a note to my very own Pirate: I hope your mum is doing okay and I am thinking of you often.

Labels: dating, exercise, Joseph

Well, my Sunday gal-pal day really energized me. I am radiating massive positive energy. I worked out for two hours, got a massage, had Japanese food, and went to a movie with my friend Jadey. She reminded me that it is crucial to do some things just for Sassy so I have something to give back to others and how true those words are proving. I also worked out for two hours last night. I feel awesome!

Awesome and conflicted. I am at a crossroads with Joseph. I adore him, but I don't think he will ever open his heart to me. I don't care about wedding rings or such types of commitment, but I do care about a commitment of the heart. I know he cares about me, but I want love. Yes, I said the "l" word. I want it and he does not feel that for me. No, he has not said that (and what sane person would), but his biggest compliment to me is saying "You are so cool to hang with". Maybe, some of you guys will defend him and say that is the kin to saying he loves me, but I won't believe you. The sex is incredible, but it is not enough for me. I need the affection, the attention that he either can't or won't give me. We are only in the 3rd month and the honeymoon appears over and I think that is too soon by any standard. He has some personal problems that seem to stand shadow over us and I feel alone. Valentine's Day never really meant something to me, but my heart dropped when he said he did not want to do cards, candy, flowers--nothing. I don't care about $100 bouquets or a truckload of Godiva, but a small gesture, well that would have more meaning and I am to be deprived of even that...without a say in the matter. I hate how Valentine's day makes singles feel...it truly is a "Sucks to be single" holiday. Someone should blow up Hallmark!

Perhaps, the timing is good for a slow peeling away because with tax season heating up, I am getting very busy and I have my exercise/health goals re-established. Plus my new business needs some serious attention if I am to make it a success and I only have three classes and a major project to finish up school. I have also neglected girlfriends and I hate that. I recently read an article that said single women in their late 30's - 50's are happier than their married counterparts because they keep something that the marrieds don't--their female friendships. I am a firm believer in keeping my female friends because they are often there when the man is long gone. I value my female friends and I have not been the type of person to diss my single female friends when I am with someone. So I am revising my schedule--less Joseph, more Sassy & friend time. I realized on Sunday that I was lacking the energy, spark, passion that makes me Sassy and that indeed, attracted Joseph in the first place.

I am looking for a new dance partner...headed to Charlotte NC for this particular fix. My friend Jadey and I are expanding our horizons and have revitalized our dream to go to Argentina to dance the Argentine tango there. I have missed my dancing something fierce and I want to get that back into my life.

So this is a bittersweet post. A life lesson that continues to blossom and for once, I am going to embrace this and go with it wherever it takes me. I am not heartbroken and that is a good feeling, but I know what I want and I no longer want to compromise that with false hopes that things will be different tomorrow or the next day. I can't control someone else, only myself. I don't want to control Joseph...his heart is his to give or not and if he chooses not, well, it is time for me to take my leave because I want heart/soul/body/mind. I have had the crumbs, I want the whole loaf and I know that somewhere out there is a man willing to give that to me without fears, reservations, circumstances. I am willing to wait for that man to appear and I know he will come because my energy my heart is sending out that signal.

Labels: Joseph, love

So last nite at dinner, Joseph and I split a pizza and a pitcher of beer--both of which I love. Now Joseph insisted we equally split the pitcher of beer, not because he was worried about the waste of it, but because he knows I get the giggles when I drink too much. So, here is another secret I will let you in on--sex has the same tendency as too much drink---I get the giggles. Anyway, the giggles I got (from the beer) and Biker Dude capitalized on that with his witty banter and jokes. My sides hurt from laughing so much and I was crying like crazy! Thank goodness I did not wear mascara yesterday.

My once-upon-a-friend called me again last night to talk for almost an hour--just like old times. This time she made no mention of my conforming to her standards--she just wanted to talk like we once did.

Today, I worked from home in anticipation of 100% frozen precipitation--what a joke! I guess five snowflakes meet the 100% requirement, but I was cheated out of a couple of inches of this stuff. Joseph and I wanted to be snowed in and we got zippo! But the man is cooking his Italian feast for me tonight and he assures me that some bedroom action is assured so the night will be a success by any standard.

On another note, my Keurig B-50 died. I guess Joseph and I have put it through its paces. Being a convenience girl, I decided to shop Ebay and buy another one rather than deal with warranty issues. The coffee maker is mere months old, but who the hell knows where the receipt is. So I upgraded and the seller tells me that they have sold out and he is sending me the B-70 Platinum instead for no extra money. That puppy came in yesterday on my out my front door and I will be spending the weekend with Joseph so it will be Sunday before I can take it for a testdrive.

And Sunday---massage day. My friend Jadey is going to hook me up with a great hot stone massage and then we are headed to a pilates class and then the movies. It will be a great girl's day out. I am so looking forward to those plans and I am sure I will need them after fending Mandy's groping hands this weekend and playing an unending game of Candyland, Barbies, and Shrek Operation. Did I mention her father has her hooked on his favorite childhood cartoon of Speed Racer? Ugh! That is all I have to say. I saw episode 2 --count'em--6 times last time the rugrat was visiting. I will be ready for a pitcher of mojitos and some adult conversation about men & sex.

Hope everyone has an awesome weekend!

Labels: beer, friends, Joseph, sex

Since Joseph turned 40, you would think he had become 400 instead! Now I hear how he can't keep up with his "Nympho" girlfriend! Thankfully he is just teasing! Being with a man who actually enjoys sex is such a refreshing change from the prior 9 years. He is too much of a gentleman to brag, but I know he loves the fact that I am always a willing partner. I think someone forgot to install an "off" switch in me. Oh well, it is a great ride. I love sex and I am proud of it!

Joseph never slept on silk sheets until he met me...he is as addicted to them as I am. There really is nothing that compares to 100% silk. Oftentimes I hop into bed and he has stripped down to nothing...not for me...but because it feels so damn sensuous to have all that silk wrapped around your body. He had insomnia until he met me, but he claims that the silk sheets have cured him (I think it is me, but that is a story for another day). I finally gave him a mismatched set of silk sheets to put on his bed so we can enjoy the sensation no matter which house we are at. I also want to confess that we have worn out a pair of silk sheets in the 2.5 months we have been together. Yup, you heard right...wore those puppies out. Thankfully, Ebay has such great prices on them! I guess I need to buy stock in a silk sheet company, because I think this is going to be a frequent occurence.

Seriously, if you have never had silk sheets--rush don't walk to buy them. I swear it is like heaven on earth...they are incredible feeling...the cool feel on the skin, soft like an angel's wing. It defies describing, but it does add a certain je ne sais quois to the sexual experience.

When I started on the dating adventure, I purchased a few books and a couple of videos to study up on. One erotic dvd is the Kama Sutra/Tau of Sex combo. I decided that since I did not keep the hubby even remotely interested that I needed to make some changes for the next man. Well, I have only watched about 5 minutes of the video and glanced at the books. Joseph assures me that I have all the right stuff already, but we have decided to watch the dvds together...one of these years! Although, what he could learn, I have no clue. He has it going on. He is quite the athlete in bed and sometimes, he exhausts me! Most of the time, it is me exhausting him though. We laugh that he wants to die in my arms having the big one.

Okay, you guys are probably grossed out within an inch of your lives and are telling me to shut the hell up because all this detail is hurting your eyes. Sorry 'bout that my bloggo friends, but it was the burning topic on my mind for some reason. I think it is to get my mind off a sad phone call I received last night. An old friend who drifted from my life called to tell me that she has breast cancer and that the prognosis is not good. I broke down and cried and went to bed crying. The bitch of the situation for me is that I am not welcome in her life despite her needing me unless I conform to certain religious standards she has. I want to be there when she comes out of surgery next week, but I am not welcome. Yes, weird that she would even call me...I feel powerless and frustrated. I feel a deep loss and not a little resentment that she would try to manipulate me with such a devastating disease. So I will pray and cry for her.

Joseph called me last night while I was on the phone to her. I called him back and when he asked what I was doing, I just broke down all over again. He came over and he did what he does best...he made me laugh and he held me. While I cried in his arms in bed, we had a deep theological discussion of faith, God, death, and true love. As we were drifting off to sleep, Joseph thanked me for really listening to him and valuing his opinion. This man amazes me not only with his deep faith, but because he is far more intelligent than I am. He is amazed that I find him so fascinating. He is far too modest to subscribe to my belief that he is a genius, but that is okay.

Labels: Joseph, sex, silk

Little Mandy has a fascination with my breasts. One day we were in McPlayHell land and I was just looking around while she was scampering about the slides. The next thing I know the little sprite is beside me and has launched her hand down the keyhole neck of my sweater. I got her under control and looked around to see if anyone noticed her trying to haul my PT's (phenomenal tits for the new readers) out of my bra & sweater--sure enough--a mother was standing in the corner and she smirked and nodded to me as we made eye contact.

So, of course, I tell Joseph about the booby incident and his reply was that his daughter had good taste and it is something he considers doing from time to time!

Anyway, last weekend I was helping Mandy get her jammies on and I was leaning over to get her feet in when I feel a hand down my shirt. She says, "I want to see your red booby thing, all of it, I want to see your boobies". Well, we had to have a conversation about those being MY red booby things and not hers.

Ah, the joys of children. I could understand the obsession if her mother was flat chested, but she is not. I could understand the obsession if Mandy were younger and still breast-feeding. I am afraid to wearing anything other than turtlenecks with her out in public.

She is a sweetie though. When Joseph went to get her last week, she kept asking if I was going to be at his apartment when they got there. When I finally got there, you would have thought I was Queen Sheba with the fab reception I got from her. We played Candyland and Barbies for a while until I needed some adult activities. The next morning she came flying into the bedroom--not to snuggle with daddy--but to snuggle with Sassy. Poor Joseph was feeling a bit put out that she wanted me and not him. I made it a bit of a joke and said to Mandy, "Daddy is being silly...he thinks you love me more than you love him, but we know better don't we?"

Both Joseph & I have been very ill with the nasty cough stuff going around so we have been taking turns looking after each other. His birthday was a little more lowkey than I had planned because we just did not have the energy to do more than sit zombielike on the couch and watch a movie while eating homemade chicken soup.

Well, that is the update from the Sassy domesticland.

Kiss noises to everyone!

Labels: boobs, Joseph, Mandy

I have had to make three traumatic trips to Walmart this week. It is a source of amazement to me how any Walmart you shop at seems to be the epicenter of incompetence. In the not so distant past, shopping after midnight in Walmart assured at least a certain level of service and no waiting in a massive line. That has gone the way of the dinosaur apparently...last night there were--count'em--30 people in two lines. I felt gray hairs sprouting as I stood there trying to decide if I really needed my items. The answer was yes, so I very impatiently tapped my foot along with my 29 companions. Thankfully, registers magically started opening so I guess the Walmart fairy was having a charitable moment.

The local Walmart is approximately 5 minutes away so it is convenient distance wise to go there. It never fails, though, that I have the local Wal-mart Weirdo follow me around. I had three of the them trailing (and leering) after me on Monday night. No subtlety there...they frantically made eye contact with me and swung their cart around and nosed down my aisle. Now, I know you guys are paranoid about tampons and female products so it was not the aisle they would have willingly chosen for themselves. I can't imagine what they busied themselves with...I guess I should have paid more attention. I was waiting for the opening "question"...

"Excuse me, miss, is Super better than Slender?" or "What do you think of Summer's Eve?"

Seriously, these nutjobs followed me all through Wally's world. Maybe my J-Lo top was a bit more cosmopolitan than they are used to seeing or my short messy do was intriguing, but still....

And whatever happened to shopping cart etiquette? The average aisle will fit two carts with some careful manuevering, but no, you get those rude people who stand in the middle of the aisle with their huge honking cart taking up all the space. All the excuse mes in the world is not going to penetrate the "All About Me" zone these people are in. Even in Wally world, my manners come up--please & thank you. I would make my mama proud. She drilled those things into me at the threat of death and I manage to bleet them out even under the extreme duress Wally's world causes me. Most people look ready to spit bullets when you say excuse me though. Perhaps they have been stranded and wandering lost in Wally's world for many days...I guess I should be more compassionate.

Joseph's birthday is the 23rd, but we are doing multiple days of celebration. It has been years since he celebrated his birthday and had people make over him. Last night was the Italian feast celebration. Mandy gave him some chocolates. Today, per his request, we are having a birthday party at Chuckee-Cheeeze complete with a Pirates of Caribbean cake. Monday, he & his best friend are going out to do who knows what and then Tuesday he is all mine. I have not decided what that celebration is going to include yet. I am thinking romantic, but who knows???

I met Joseph's older sister. She practically raised him and man does she have stories...like the time he started a fire at age 3 or ran away with his 2 year old brother at age 4. He was apparently quite the handful. At one point during dinner on Thursday nite, Joseph and Mandy were shooting peanuts at each other after dinner and Debbie strongly reprimanded him (I guess old habits are hard to break). Well, the look of pure unadulterated mischief and happiness on his face was a delight to behold. I wish I could capture that look because that is the man I am deeply attracted to and it helps me to focus on that when his OCD ways are driving me a bit batty. It really works best for our relationship that we have two separate abodes...he is a super neat freak with every scrap of paper having its place and me...I have comfortable organized chaos. If something doesn't get put away, I certainly don't lose sleep over it, whereas, Joseph does. When we are in his world, I respect his nit-picky, extremely particular rules and when we are in my world, he manages (with great effort I am sure) to just go with the flow.

Anyway, a great weekend to you all! I have some blog reading to catch up on.

Labels: birthday, Joseph, OCD, psychos, shopping, walmart

Well, I hope everyone had wonderous holiday seasons and a great New Years Eve.

My best gift, by far, was the set of Jeep & house keys dropped into my stocking by none other than my Biker Dude. We indulged in much Italian food and wine. I tell ya, I am getting spoiled by this guy of mine. The girls had a great Christmas and we spent a lot of time playing games on the actual day.

Joseph and I took a weekend New Years trip to visit some of his siblings. His family decided I was a keeper. Frankly, this is the first guy I have ever dated whose family actually liked me. I think I finally found a family in the south who likes Mz Jersey Girl with attitude. We indulged in much Italian food & wine again. We were near DC so I got to hit some cool stores and Joseph took me to Quantico. He wanted to get some Marine decals for the jeep that can only be bought on base. I got to hear some interesting stories about his days as an enlisted man.

I also got to spend an entire day with my two adored & adorable nieces. I have not seen them since August. I missed them something fierce and we had a great day watching movies, taking pictures, playing on the playground, going to CiCi's pizza and the dollar store. I was wiped out by the time the rug rats went back to their father's.

The Ex reared his nasty head and now we have flipped from a pleasant separation to a full-on legal battle. The creep cancelled my health insurance which is a no-no in my state. So now I have hired a lawyer to drag his ass into court to force the issue. I decided since he was being unpleasant that I would go for everything I can legally get from this divorce...he should have let things alone. I might become the proud owner of one of those motorcycles he bought right before we parted company (tee hee hee).

Tax season is here and it appears that my new business (at least one side of it) is going to take off. I need to replicate myself shades of Multiplicity. I need a Joseph-Sassy, work-Sassy, school-Sassy.

Labels: holiday, Italian, Joseph, nieces, the Ex