Since Joseph turned 40, you would think he had become 400 instead! Now I hear how he can't keep up with his "Nympho" girlfriend! Thankfully he is just teasing! Being with a man who actually enjoys sex is such a refreshing change from the prior 9 years. He is too much of a gentleman to brag, but I know he loves the fact that I am always a willing partner. I think someone forgot to install an "off" switch in me. Oh well, it is a great ride. I love sex and I am proud of it!

Joseph never slept on silk sheets until he met me...he is as addicted to them as I am. There really is nothing that compares to 100% silk. Oftentimes I hop into bed and he has stripped down to nothing...not for me...but because it feels so damn sensuous to have all that silk wrapped around your body. He had insomnia until he met me, but he claims that the silk sheets have cured him (I think it is me, but that is a story for another day). I finally gave him a mismatched set of silk sheets to put on his bed so we can enjoy the sensation no matter which house we are at. I also want to confess that we have worn out a pair of silk sheets in the 2.5 months we have been together. Yup, you heard right...wore those puppies out. Thankfully, Ebay has such great prices on them! I guess I need to buy stock in a silk sheet company, because I think this is going to be a frequent occurence.

Seriously, if you have never had silk sheets--rush don't walk to buy them. I swear it is like heaven on earth...they are incredible feeling...the cool feel on the skin, soft like an angel's wing. It defies describing, but it does add a certain je ne sais quois to the sexual experience.

When I started on the dating adventure, I purchased a few books and a couple of videos to study up on. One erotic dvd is the Kama Sutra/Tau of Sex combo. I decided that since I did not keep the hubby even remotely interested that I needed to make some changes for the next man. Well, I have only watched about 5 minutes of the video and glanced at the books. Joseph assures me that I have all the right stuff already, but we have decided to watch the dvds together...one of these years! Although, what he could learn, I have no clue. He has it going on. He is quite the athlete in bed and sometimes, he exhausts me! Most of the time, it is me exhausting him though. We laugh that he wants to die in my arms having the big one.

Okay, you guys are probably grossed out within an inch of your lives and are telling me to shut the hell up because all this detail is hurting your eyes. Sorry 'bout that my bloggo friends, but it was the burning topic on my mind for some reason. I think it is to get my mind off a sad phone call I received last night. An old friend who drifted from my life called to tell me that she has breast cancer and that the prognosis is not good. I broke down and cried and went to bed crying. The bitch of the situation for me is that I am not welcome in her life despite her needing me unless I conform to certain religious standards she has. I want to be there when she comes out of surgery next week, but I am not welcome. Yes, weird that she would even call me...I feel powerless and frustrated. I feel a deep loss and not a little resentment that she would try to manipulate me with such a devastating disease. So I will pray and cry for her.

Joseph called me last night while I was on the phone to her. I called him back and when he asked what I was doing, I just broke down all over again. He came over and he did what he does best...he made me laugh and he held me. While I cried in his arms in bed, we had a deep theological discussion of faith, God, death, and true love. As we were drifting off to sleep, Joseph thanked me for really listening to him and valuing his opinion. This man amazes me not only with his deep faith, but because he is far more intelligent than I am. He is amazed that I find him so fascinating. He is far too modest to subscribe to my belief that he is a genius, but that is okay.

Labels: Joseph, sex, silk

Little Mandy has a fascination with my breasts. One day we were in McPlayHell land and I was just looking around while she was scampering about the slides. The next thing I know the little sprite is beside me and has launched her hand down the keyhole neck of my sweater. I got her under control and looked around to see if anyone noticed her trying to haul my PT's (phenomenal tits for the new readers) out of my bra & sweater--sure enough--a mother was standing in the corner and she smirked and nodded to me as we made eye contact.

So, of course, I tell Joseph about the booby incident and his reply was that his daughter had good taste and it is something he considers doing from time to time!

Anyway, last weekend I was helping Mandy get her jammies on and I was leaning over to get her feet in when I feel a hand down my shirt. She says, "I want to see your red booby thing, all of it, I want to see your boobies". Well, we had to have a conversation about those being MY red booby things and not hers.

Ah, the joys of children. I could understand the obsession if her mother was flat chested, but she is not. I could understand the obsession if Mandy were younger and still breast-feeding. I am afraid to wearing anything other than turtlenecks with her out in public.

She is a sweetie though. When Joseph went to get her last week, she kept asking if I was going to be at his apartment when they got there. When I finally got there, you would have thought I was Queen Sheba with the fab reception I got from her. We played Candyland and Barbies for a while until I needed some adult activities. The next morning she came flying into the bedroom--not to snuggle with daddy--but to snuggle with Sassy. Poor Joseph was feeling a bit put out that she wanted me and not him. I made it a bit of a joke and said to Mandy, "Daddy is being silly...he thinks you love me more than you love him, but we know better don't we?"

Both Joseph & I have been very ill with the nasty cough stuff going around so we have been taking turns looking after each other. His birthday was a little more lowkey than I had planned because we just did not have the energy to do more than sit zombielike on the couch and watch a movie while eating homemade chicken soup.

Well, that is the update from the Sassy domesticland.

Kiss noises to everyone!

Labels: boobs, Joseph, Mandy

I have had to make three traumatic trips to Walmart this week. It is a source of amazement to me how any Walmart you shop at seems to be the epicenter of incompetence. In the not so distant past, shopping after midnight in Walmart assured at least a certain level of service and no waiting in a massive line. That has gone the way of the dinosaur apparently...last night there were--count'em--30 people in two lines. I felt gray hairs sprouting as I stood there trying to decide if I really needed my items. The answer was yes, so I very impatiently tapped my foot along with my 29 companions. Thankfully, registers magically started opening so I guess the Walmart fairy was having a charitable moment.

The local Walmart is approximately 5 minutes away so it is convenient distance wise to go there. It never fails, though, that I have the local Wal-mart Weirdo follow me around. I had three of the them trailing (and leering) after me on Monday night. No subtlety there...they frantically made eye contact with me and swung their cart around and nosed down my aisle. Now, I know you guys are paranoid about tampons and female products so it was not the aisle they would have willingly chosen for themselves. I can't imagine what they busied themselves with...I guess I should have paid more attention. I was waiting for the opening "question"...

"Excuse me, miss, is Super better than Slender?" or "What do you think of Summer's Eve?"

Seriously, these nutjobs followed me all through Wally's world. Maybe my J-Lo top was a bit more cosmopolitan than they are used to seeing or my short messy do was intriguing, but still....

And whatever happened to shopping cart etiquette? The average aisle will fit two carts with some careful manuevering, but no, you get those rude people who stand in the middle of the aisle with their huge honking cart taking up all the space. All the excuse mes in the world is not going to penetrate the "All About Me" zone these people are in. Even in Wally world, my manners come up--please & thank you. I would make my mama proud. She drilled those things into me at the threat of death and I manage to bleet them out even under the extreme duress Wally's world causes me. Most people look ready to spit bullets when you say excuse me though. Perhaps they have been stranded and wandering lost in Wally's world for many days...I guess I should be more compassionate.

Joseph's birthday is the 23rd, but we are doing multiple days of celebration. It has been years since he celebrated his birthday and had people make over him. Last night was the Italian feast celebration. Mandy gave him some chocolates. Today, per his request, we are having a birthday party at Chuckee-Cheeeze complete with a Pirates of Caribbean cake. Monday, he & his best friend are going out to do who knows what and then Tuesday he is all mine. I have not decided what that celebration is going to include yet. I am thinking romantic, but who knows???

I met Joseph's older sister. She practically raised him and man does she have stories...like the time he started a fire at age 3 or ran away with his 2 year old brother at age 4. He was apparently quite the handful. At one point during dinner on Thursday nite, Joseph and Mandy were shooting peanuts at each other after dinner and Debbie strongly reprimanded him (I guess old habits are hard to break). Well, the look of pure unadulterated mischief and happiness on his face was a delight to behold. I wish I could capture that look because that is the man I am deeply attracted to and it helps me to focus on that when his OCD ways are driving me a bit batty. It really works best for our relationship that we have two separate abodes...he is a super neat freak with every scrap of paper having its place and me...I have comfortable organized chaos. If something doesn't get put away, I certainly don't lose sleep over it, whereas, Joseph does. When we are in his world, I respect his nit-picky, extremely particular rules and when we are in my world, he manages (with great effort I am sure) to just go with the flow.

Anyway, a great weekend to you all! I have some blog reading to catch up on.

Labels: birthday, Joseph, OCD, psychos, shopping, walmart

I have so many things I want to blog, but by the time I sit down to write, I forget half of the stories.

It is kind of ironic that from the arrival of Joseph in my life, SassyKat was rather wary of him because she is afraid of men. But now, several months later...SassyKat is in love with Joseph. Maybe it is the way he gets on the floor to play with her using a piece of string (when he thinks I am not around) or the affectionate names he calls her (Kung Pau Kitty, Morris, Felix, Fuzzball to name a few). Over X-mas when I was practically living at his place he even encouraged me to go home and pack up SassyKat so she could be with us. Anyway, SassyKat sleeps on my feet, but when Joseph is in the house...she sleeps on his feet. The little furry traitor!

My biggest goal this year is budgeting: time and money. I completed a partial financial budget this week and I have started working on my time budget. I have got to find the time to do what I love quite passionately and that is to write my blog and read all my favorite blogs. I am missing out on Miz Bohemia's adventures in Spain, Utenzi's science and book updates, Dave's quirky insights on life, the college life of Roselle, the adventures of Fatman, BuddhaBong's sarcasm, Corporate Whore Barbie's disgusting boss stories...I love all of them and when I was a non-dating individual, I had time to read and comment to my heart's content. I will be getting back to that soon because you guys should not be treated as fairweather friends. Most of you have been with me since the start of the fall of the marriage, the adventures in New Orleans, my dancing competitions, and you came back when I started anew.

Well, it appears that my visit to the lawyer has scared the ex because I got a text message from him on Friday that he would be putting me back on his plan. So I guess he decided to go back to the original plan we established...nice easy separation leading to a nice easy divorce. Unfortunately for him, I did speak with a lawyer and I will be expecting a bit more from him now...our verbal separation agreement (soon to be put to paper by moi) will be tweaked just a bit. Never make a Sassy Irish girl angry...it is not pretty. I really hate lawyers so I am glad he decided to get his head together. Maybe he should quit taking advice from his Ho.

Well, I know you guys who decided to stop by for a visit are shocked to see not just one entry today but two. The sky is falling so open those umbrellas!

Labels: Biker Dude, SassyKat, the Ex

It is so damn cold in my client's building that I have lost all feeling in my nipples. Yes, the dreaded "n" word. I swear the headlights have been on for the third day in a row. I think I am going to have to dress like an Eskimo before the nips freeze altogether and fall off. It went from 70 degrees and gorgeous to freezing in a flash. I am a middle-of-the-road kind of girl when it comes to weather and 70 is my ideal. Well, with my five year plan...Hawaii is looking better all the time, but realistically, Arizona will probably be my landing area.

My classmate "the stupid bitch" got on my very last nerve on Monday night. I swear she wants me to take her out. She was assigned the team project due Monday. She sent me crap the first go round that had nothing to do with the topic so I said (for the 3rd time) NO NO NO--do it over that is not the right information. I get crap from her the 2nd go round so my other team mate, B-man, and I basically did the entire project last Thursday at our study team meeting while she read emails. We met again Sunday for a final tweaking and I gave her a very simple assignment...create our class handout. That is all she is capable of and that with much whip cracking from me. My grade is at stake and I refuse to leave it in this bozo's hands. Anyway, we do our presentation on Monday and she led off with the introduction to our project...I think I had orange death rays shooting out of my eyes as I realized Stupid Bitch was using the information she had on her crap paper #1--which DID NOT tie into our paper at all. AND she read her entire presentation which the professor had talked to her about last week--he takes big points off for that. So, again, it was up to B-man and I to rescue the presentation. Thank goodness the professor said that I am a natural presenter and he likes my style. If we get below a B on this presentation I am going postal on Stupid Bitch. We have a huge team project for the final night of class and she has scheduled a week in the Bahamas for same. I am glad she is not going to be there, but she has done NOTHING for the team project. I know her, she is going to shovel a load of crap at me and hop her plane. I have decided, as team leader, that if she does that per her MO then I am not going to give her credit for the paper and I am going to hand off the load of crap to the professor so he can see for himself why she was not included. Stupid Bitch can barely string a sentence together. Her grammar sucks which is why her work is crap. She apparently got a bad grade on one of her individual papers and I heard the professor tell her that the grammar errors she is making are basic grammatical structure errors and that the next professor will tell her to get out of the program if he sees them on any of the papers she does for him. That rattled her cage a bit, but I think she either does not care or is too stupid to rectify the situation. Only four more classes...care to take a bet whether I kick her ass or not between now and then? B-man has been reigning me in, but even he is seeing the light.

Labels: nipples, school, Stupid Bitch

Biker Dude and I had a romantic weekend out of town and it was awesome! We went to Boone and Blowing Rock. The weather was unseasonable warm and incredibly beautiful. I got to see where Joseph lived several years ago and visit some of his stomping grounds. He showed me where he plans to take me skiing (OMG---does he realize what an incredible klutz I am? Does the fact that I tore my ankle to shreds in N'Awlins a couple of years ago simply by walking down some steps mean nothing to him????). His 40th birthday is coming up and I have some special plans for my man...and no, I don't intend to share with you guys. Let me just state for the record, that my man can satisfy me in ways I never even imagined. He is hawt! He is always showing his appreciation.

I think I reigned the ex in...I called him right after leaving the lawyer's office to inform him of all the goodies I would be taking from him after we both paid through the nose using lawyers to duke it out.

Other than those blippies...I am up to my blonde roots in school projects and business endeavors. I need a nice long vacation when school is out before I head into the MBA program or I am going to end up killing people. I really hate hate hate one of my team mates. I could write an entire blog about this self-absorbed bitch, but I will refrain for the time being.

I was thinking about friends the other day and how blessed I am with the special circle of people I have in my life. My friends Jadey & Bea gave me the most awesome belated X-mas presents: Bea gave me this handpainted martini glass called Glamourtini, in addition to some other glamorously themed gifts. Jadey made me a beautiful choker and gave me two sexy black tops to showcase it. Ryan gave me this delicate scarf. My gal-pals are fab! I know I can count on them no matter what. They have showed me time and again they will be there for me and I just cannot thank them enough. And Joseph? Well, this biker dude is a rock fer sure!

Peace out!

Labels: Biker Dude, friends, Stupid Bitch, the Ex

Well, I hope everyone had wonderous holiday seasons and a great New Years Eve.

My best gift, by far, was the set of Jeep & house keys dropped into my stocking by none other than my Biker Dude. We indulged in much Italian food and wine. I tell ya, I am getting spoiled by this guy of mine. The girls had a great Christmas and we spent a lot of time playing games on the actual day.

Joseph and I took a weekend New Years trip to visit some of his siblings. His family decided I was a keeper. Frankly, this is the first guy I have ever dated whose family actually liked me. I think I finally found a family in the south who likes Mz Jersey Girl with attitude. We indulged in much Italian food & wine again. We were near DC so I got to hit some cool stores and Joseph took me to Quantico. He wanted to get some Marine decals for the jeep that can only be bought on base. I got to hear some interesting stories about his days as an enlisted man.

I also got to spend an entire day with my two adored & adorable nieces. I have not seen them since August. I missed them something fierce and we had a great day watching movies, taking pictures, playing on the playground, going to CiCi's pizza and the dollar store. I was wiped out by the time the rug rats went back to their father's.

The Ex reared his nasty head and now we have flipped from a pleasant separation to a full-on legal battle. The creep cancelled my health insurance which is a no-no in my state. So now I have hired a lawyer to drag his ass into court to force the issue. I decided since he was being unpleasant that I would go for everything I can legally get from this divorce...he should have let things alone. I might become the proud owner of one of those motorcycles he bought right before we parted company (tee hee hee).

Tax season is here and it appears that my new business (at least one side of it) is going to take off. I need to replicate myself shades of Multiplicity. I need a Joseph-Sassy, work-Sassy, school-Sassy.

Labels: holiday, Italian, Joseph, nieces, the Ex