The ex-hub and I had to meet this weekend to finish up some business between us. We are on good terms and we get along well now that we are not living together. In fact, I would venture to say we are better friends now than we ever were during the marriage.

Our business was conducted at the DMV and involved transferring title to our respective vehicles. We just never got around to it until now. We must have worked with the DMV girl for about 20 minutes and we just chatted with each other and caught up on current events. Towards the end, the DMV girl looked at us both and asked, "You guys are getting a divorce?" I said, "No, we are already divorced." She shook her head and said, "I just can't believe it. You two seem perfect for each other and you get along so well." My reply was the same as the one I gave my divorce lawyer when she made the same observation, "It is easy to get along when you are no longer living with each other."

Ex-hub didn't look real well and I asked him about it. He has some fairly serious health issues including what looks like the start of the disease that caused his mother's death. I am worried about him and feel helpless all at the same time. I feel some responsibility towards him as all of his family is in the mid-west with the exception of our son (my stepson). He has no one to look after him should he end up in the hospital. No one to help him should he need to get to the doctor.

This makes me wonder...do we ever really cut the ties that bind?

Labels: the Ex

I have so many things I want to blog, but by the time I sit down to write, I forget half of the stories.

It is kind of ironic that from the arrival of Joseph in my life, SassyKat was rather wary of him because she is afraid of men. But now, several months later...SassyKat is in love with Joseph. Maybe it is the way he gets on the floor to play with her using a piece of string (when he thinks I am not around) or the affectionate names he calls her (Kung Pau Kitty, Morris, Felix, Fuzzball to name a few). Over X-mas when I was practically living at his place he even encouraged me to go home and pack up SassyKat so she could be with us. Anyway, SassyKat sleeps on my feet, but when Joseph is in the house...she sleeps on his feet. The little furry traitor!

My biggest goal this year is budgeting: time and money. I completed a partial financial budget this week and I have started working on my time budget. I have got to find the time to do what I love quite passionately and that is to write my blog and read all my favorite blogs. I am missing out on Miz Bohemia's adventures in Spain, Utenzi's science and book updates, Dave's quirky insights on life, the college life of Roselle, the adventures of Fatman, BuddhaBong's sarcasm, Corporate Whore Barbie's disgusting boss stories...I love all of them and when I was a non-dating individual, I had time to read and comment to my heart's content. I will be getting back to that soon because you guys should not be treated as fairweather friends. Most of you have been with me since the start of the fall of the marriage, the adventures in New Orleans, my dancing competitions, and you came back when I started anew.

Well, it appears that my visit to the lawyer has scared the ex because I got a text message from him on Friday that he would be putting me back on his plan. So I guess he decided to go back to the original plan we established...nice easy separation leading to a nice easy divorce. Unfortunately for him, I did speak with a lawyer and I will be expecting a bit more from him now...our verbal separation agreement (soon to be put to paper by moi) will be tweaked just a bit. Never make a Sassy Irish girl angry...it is not pretty. I really hate lawyers so I am glad he decided to get his head together. Maybe he should quit taking advice from his Ho.

Well, I know you guys who decided to stop by for a visit are shocked to see not just one entry today but two. The sky is falling so open those umbrellas!

Labels: Biker Dude, SassyKat, the Ex

Biker Dude and I had a romantic weekend out of town and it was awesome! We went to Boone and Blowing Rock. The weather was unseasonable warm and incredibly beautiful. I got to see where Joseph lived several years ago and visit some of his stomping grounds. He showed me where he plans to take me skiing (OMG---does he realize what an incredible klutz I am? Does the fact that I tore my ankle to shreds in N'Awlins a couple of years ago simply by walking down some steps mean nothing to him????). His 40th birthday is coming up and I have some special plans for my man...and no, I don't intend to share with you guys. Let me just state for the record, that my man can satisfy me in ways I never even imagined. He is hawt! He is always showing his appreciation.

I think I reigned the ex in...I called him right after leaving the lawyer's office to inform him of all the goodies I would be taking from him after we both paid through the nose using lawyers to duke it out.

Other than those blippies...I am up to my blonde roots in school projects and business endeavors. I need a nice long vacation when school is out before I head into the MBA program or I am going to end up killing people. I really hate hate hate one of my team mates. I could write an entire blog about this self-absorbed bitch, but I will refrain for the time being.

I was thinking about friends the other day and how blessed I am with the special circle of people I have in my life. My friends Jadey & Bea gave me the most awesome belated X-mas presents: Bea gave me this handpainted martini glass called Glamourtini, in addition to some other glamorously themed gifts. Jadey made me a beautiful choker and gave me two sexy black tops to showcase it. Ryan gave me this delicate scarf. My gal-pals are fab! I know I can count on them no matter what. They have showed me time and again they will be there for me and I just cannot thank them enough. And Joseph? Well, this biker dude is a rock fer sure!

Peace out!

Labels: Biker Dude, friends, Stupid Bitch, the Ex

Well, I hope everyone had wonderous holiday seasons and a great New Years Eve.

My best gift, by far, was the set of Jeep & house keys dropped into my stocking by none other than my Biker Dude. We indulged in much Italian food and wine. I tell ya, I am getting spoiled by this guy of mine. The girls had a great Christmas and we spent a lot of time playing games on the actual day.

Joseph and I took a weekend New Years trip to visit some of his siblings. His family decided I was a keeper. Frankly, this is the first guy I have ever dated whose family actually liked me. I think I finally found a family in the south who likes Mz Jersey Girl with attitude. We indulged in much Italian food & wine again. We were near DC so I got to hit some cool stores and Joseph took me to Quantico. He wanted to get some Marine decals for the jeep that can only be bought on base. I got to hear some interesting stories about his days as an enlisted man.

I also got to spend an entire day with my two adored & adorable nieces. I have not seen them since August. I missed them something fierce and we had a great day watching movies, taking pictures, playing on the playground, going to CiCi's pizza and the dollar store. I was wiped out by the time the rug rats went back to their father's.

The Ex reared his nasty head and now we have flipped from a pleasant separation to a full-on legal battle. The creep cancelled my health insurance which is a no-no in my state. So now I have hired a lawyer to drag his ass into court to force the issue. I decided since he was being unpleasant that I would go for everything I can legally get from this divorce...he should have let things alone. I might become the proud owner of one of those motorcycles he bought right before we parted company (tee hee hee).

Tax season is here and it appears that my new business (at least one side of it) is going to take off. I need to replicate myself shades of Multiplicity. I need a Joseph-Sassy, work-Sassy, school-Sassy.

Labels: holiday, Italian, Joseph, nieces, the Ex

WOW! I have been nominated for the
2006 Weblog Awards. So if you like my blog...head on over there. I am not sure who Greg is, but he nominated me...thanks a bunch!

The dating shoes did not quite make it to the box. I chatted with Harley man for 2 hours Saturday nite. It was a blast...he has a great sense of humor and is very easy to chat with. He thought the same about me. We then chatted for about 45 minutes this morning and ended up meeting for coffee. We spent two delightful hours together and as a bonus, he is a computer guy, so he tweaked my laptop for me. I got home and he sent me an IM to tell me how wonderful I looked and that he had a great time with me. Our next date is dinner sometime soon. Our date after that will be him cooking me dinner at his house and watching a movie. Kudos for Ryan for insisting I answer his email.

I got another wink from a Jeffrey. He is three hours from me, kinda cute. Wants me to come see him...not sure about that, but I agreed to chat with him sometime.

I have not kicked bible boy to the curb. I just feel so darn sorry for him and he did attempt to show up Saturday morning to help me move my furniture. However, a gal-pal rearranged her schedule and we had it finished by the time he showed up. So we are chatting last nite and he tells me he went on two meet-n-greets with potentials from the dating site we use. I asked if he had a good time. I am all for him seeing others. He then proceeds to tell me that they did not compare to me: not as sexy, not as fun to be with, not Sassy...

Dave, your comment on my last entry...I am certainly not lacking in dates and frankly, I thought I would be dateless for a long time to come. It is a nice feeling to have dates. I was just Mz. Crabcakes on Friday thanks to the ex. I went home, chilled, did homework, and went to bed early and that did wonders.

Bible boy finagled a dinner invite out of me for tomorrow nite for leftover Sassy Lasagna. I think Harley man will be calling tomorrow or the next day to arrange our date. Life is good at the moment.

Labels: Bible Boy, Biker Dude, dating, the Ex

My mani/pedi was cancelled this evening so I cruised by my favorite bookstore to see if my favorite book boy was there. He was. We talked, we joked, we flirted, I bought, I ordered, I lingered and Mr. Chris still did not ask me out. I am going back this weekend to pick up my ordered book and maybe, just maybe, I will work it into the conversation...single, available, interested. I know he is not gay (he was doing discreet cleavage survey and the gaydar is not screaming) and I am fairly certain he is not seeing someone because of a conversation I overheard him have with his manager. He finds me attractive, he loves my hair, he laughs at my jokes, he likes my book choices....I just want him to do the asking. I am not shy and I don't hesitate to go after what I want, but I want to be chased just a little. Okay, I admit, I have this little fantasy of us drinking coffee and laughing over my obvious ploys to get his attention and how adorable and charming he found me.

The other man in my life--my dance partner--is coming over tomorrow night after we dance to hook up my surround sound and dvd. I could do it, but I just don't feel like it and if I have a volunteer, why should I? The surround sound system is an expensive, very nice one that I bought the ex as a wedding gift. He refused to use it--ever. I hooked it up, I used it, and damn it! I took it with me when I left. What the hell was that all about anyway? He never could offer an explanation for the attitude. James, my dance partner, could not believe the ex did not want the system when he saw it. Anyway, that led to him volunteering to set it up so it will be perfect!

Labels: Book Boy, dancing, the Ex

I breathed a sigh of relief today at approximately 10:00am when I loaded the last box of belongings from the ex's house. Except for one more trip to get SassyKat, I am done with that life, those memories. I received validation this week on my suspicions that he has been seeing someone for quite some time. I don't care, he is her problem now, but it got me wondering at what point do you know a relationship is over? I mean the more subtle clues: when you stop talking about meaningful things; when you realize you have not seen that person in a while and you don't care; when you don't think about the other person's feelings; when our thoughts lead us down the road of blaming the other person for our unhappiness.

Maybe we are not meant to be with just one person...marriage should have the option to be renewed each year. Frankly, marriage has left a bad taste in my mouth and I cannot imagine going down that path again. I think people fall into two categories: free spirits and relationship-bound. I just wish I had realized oh-so long ago that I am the free-spirit type. I don't need to be in a relationship to find fulfillment. I enjoy my alone time and the freedom to go when and where I want without taking into account someone else. Don't get me wrong, I love sex and I enjoy male attention, but the daily chore of being with someone is not for me. I really subscribe to the K.T. Oslin philosophy of "Live Close By, Visit Often".

Friends have been calling often to check up on me since I moved into my apartment. Friends making sure that I am holding on emotionally. That means more to me than any wedding band. One good thing that has come out of the train wreak I called a marriage is a small fortress of friends who have rallied around me. For the first time in a long time I feel blessed with unselfish love. Despite being sick as a dog, my friend Ryan trooped over to my house at 7:15 this morning to help me get 100% moved. I had to twist her arm to let me buy her lunch as a thank you. She did not complain about the boot camp workout I put her through one last time, but she did make me promise to hire professional movers if I move again.

I have slipped through so many doors of change recently; I have exchanged false friends for true, real family for an adopted, motley assortment of family, a false lover for a place of my own. I don't normally like change, but I am embracing it more and more. I don't understand the forces that causes friends to lose touch, to lose love, but I do know that ultimately everthing that happens works out for the best and that truth will always reveal itself whether we wish it or not.

Labels: dating, friends, moving, sex, the Ex

To SassyAssy's Pity Party.

I hate chaos and my apartment is the epicenter of chaos right now. I just want to get unpacked and settled in...but my god! I have so much stuff. I took 4 bags of clothes to Goodwill and I have two containers of books to take to the used bookstore. I have so much art and craft stuff that I just cannot part with. I still have a motherlode of stuff to haul out of the hubby's house before he dumps it on the lawn. I have a friend coming to install my closet organizer tomorrow, so I should be able to get the bedroom straight.

I slept most of my day away today...I just could not deal with the emotional morass I am in. I am worried about SassyKat. I left her behind with her sister (my stepson's cat) because I did not want to separate the kitties and I knew my stepson wanted to keep them together. I made him promise to watch after SassyKat so hubby would not be mean to her. I go over to the house today and the house was hot--no a/c on, no windows opened, the food & water bowl empty--and both hubby & stepson are gone for the weekend. I rectified the situations, but still I am worried. SassyKat is my baby. I guess once I get my apartment in order I will move her in.

My fingers and toes need some TLC. I need to book a mani/pedi and find the time for it. I hate raggy looking nails...makes me feel unattractive. I am achy all over from hauling ass up three flights of steps with boxes of stuff until my arms feels like spaghetti. I need to book a massage (fortunately one of my friends has a massage therapy business).

And shouldn't showerheads that spit droplets of water be outlawed? That is getting changed tomorrow.

On the bright side, I love having a DVR and digital cable. I love living close to my friends. I love that I am 8 classes from my BBA. I love being 1 minute from work. I love that I am not suffocating emotionally in a hostile home environment. I love the VH1 Classics channel in the morning so I can flashback to my youth. I love that cooler weather is here. I love being able to blog freely again. I love that my legs and butt are looking quite toned. I love that the cute guy in my favorite bookstore (who reminds me of Steve, Miranda's boyfriend in Sex and the City) flirts with me. I love Haagen Das Mayan Chocolate ice cream.

Labels: moving, SassyKat, the Ex

My day just sucked. First, my client handed me a new list of "priorities". Now I don't mind priorities, but they cannot all be the number 1 priority like he wants. This conversation took place at 7am. I don't even know if I was really awake yet, so maybe it was just a nightmare...that continued.

At noon, the hubby calls to berate me and reiterate I need to get my "crap" out of the house (like yesterday). So, I call the retail store to tell them that I would not be able to come in either tonight or Saturday because I have to finish moving or else. My supervisor screamed at me that this was not acceptable. I don't normally call last minute like this, but I really would like to have my stuff and if I leave it there much longer, hubby will toss it all. I also worked a mother-lode for the store during August--the month I had off from school and planned to use that time to pack...did not happen because of my work schedule. So, I sent a resignation letter to my boss at the store. This job was a fun thing to do, but the time has come to move on. I make more money doing accounting & consulting rather than ring up a bunch of bitchy, witchy, grumpy customers.

Now that I have my griping out of my system, I have to say, that I have three really terrific people in my life at the moment and I want to honor them: Ryan, Opal, and Sherry. These girls have been working their ass off right beside me to get packed, moved, and unpacked. I honestly don't know what I would do without them. Of course, the added bonus for them helping me is what I call the "bootcamp workout". I live on the third floor of a walk up...mix that with many many boxes and legs, butt, biceps get a major toning.

Labels: friends, moving, the Ex, work

and the winds of change were whirling around. I am now part of the single world again. I recently separated and moved into an awesome apartment. In fact, the biggest part of the move took place yesterday when we moved the furniture in. As with any move, I had moments when I was close to a meltdown organizing the moving crew. One thing I learned...just spend the damn money to hire professional movers instead of relying on friends, family, and acquaintances. The upside to the move was reconnecting with my older brother. He was my knight-in-shining armor in the eleventh hour.

I have been savoring my new found freedom living in a strictly feminine domain and I feel "at home" finally. I enjoy sprawling across the entire bed and leaving lights on all over the house if I want. Of course, men are ready to invade. My dance partner (who also came to my rescue and helped me move) has decided that my huge selection of movies, surround sound, and new LCD TV are selling points in favor of hanging out here. I have another male acquaintance who wants to rent my spare bedroom. I just am not ready for the testosterone levels to rise yet. Another thing I love about being on my own is the privacy factor. I now have the time and freedom to blog.

Viva La Freedom! Viva La Single!

Labels: moving, the Ex