I breathed a sigh of relief today at approximately 10:00am when I loaded the last box of belongings from the ex's house. Except for one more trip to get SassyKat, I am done with that life, those memories. I received validation this week on my suspicions that he has been seeing someone for quite some time. I don't care, he is her problem now, but it got me wondering at what point do you know a relationship is over? I mean the more subtle clues: when you stop talking about meaningful things; when you realize you have not seen that person in a while and you don't care; when you don't think about the other person's feelings; when our thoughts lead us down the road of blaming the other person for our unhappiness.

Maybe we are not meant to be with just one person...marriage should have the option to be renewed each year. Frankly, marriage has left a bad taste in my mouth and I cannot imagine going down that path again. I think people fall into two categories: free spirits and relationship-bound. I just wish I had realized oh-so long ago that I am the free-spirit type. I don't need to be in a relationship to find fulfillment. I enjoy my alone time and the freedom to go when and where I want without taking into account someone else. Don't get me wrong, I love sex and I enjoy male attention, but the daily chore of being with someone is not for me. I really subscribe to the K.T. Oslin philosophy of "Live Close By, Visit Often".

Friends have been calling often to check up on me since I moved into my apartment. Friends making sure that I am holding on emotionally. That means more to me than any wedding band. One good thing that has come out of the train wreak I called a marriage is a small fortress of friends who have rallied around me. For the first time in a long time I feel blessed with unselfish love. Despite being sick as a dog, my friend Ryan trooped over to my house at 7:15 this morning to help me get 100% moved. I had to twist her arm to let me buy her lunch as a thank you. She did not complain about the boot camp workout I put her through one last time, but she did make me promise to hire professional movers if I move again.

I have slipped through so many doors of change recently; I have exchanged false friends for true, real family for an adopted, motley assortment of family, a false lover for a place of my own. I don't normally like change, but I am embracing it more and more. I don't understand the forces that causes friends to lose touch, to lose love, but I do know that ultimately everthing that happens works out for the best and that truth will always reveal itself whether we wish it or not.

Labels: dating, friends, moving, sex, the Ex