Life was crazy this week with all the dates:

1. I met Larry the Cable Guy. Actually he turned out to be nice & funny. I am not attracted, but I would hang out with him once in a while. And Joseph was a spaz and never showed up to see my hot outfit, but I decided I just don't care.

2. I rescheduled my date with the Art Professor...just too exhausted with my work schedule to make the trip down to see him.

3. Since I stayed in town on Friday nite, I hooked up with Hot College boy for date #2. It went very very well...until he kissed me. Even in a haze of several beers...the kissing was awful! Okay, and then he told me he loved me. Yikes! Well, and then there was the overbearing attitude cloaked in sweetness. I canceled date #3 and have not returned his phone calls or Im's.

4. Karma is a Bitch! Adorable Country Boy never showed up for our date today. I guess it is conceivable there is a legitimate reason (his father has cancer), but he never called, never Im'd, never emailed and he did not respond to my text message. The list is going to naturally devolve back down to zero and maybe I will look into some nunnery brochures because the enforced celibacy is killlllllllingggggg me.

Labels: dating, sex

I have a full dance card this week and it is nice. However, next week I am conflicted on how to handle something. You see, Adorable Country Boy is working nights this week so we chat in the morning. Hottie College Guy and I chat at night before bed. Next week Adorable is back to days...of course this may be a moot point if I run screaming from him Sunday. I just am not sure how I will juggle them if I continue to see both of them. None of them know about the other. Plan to keep it that way as long as possible or until I add a few to the graveyard.

Hot College Guy is actually in the lead at the moment. Surprising me most of all. He is from India and I like the exotic. He is very modern in his views and I enjoy the intellectual stimulation I get from our conversations. We are going out on Saturday nite. We seem to have a comfortable friendship and there is more to him than I first thought. Who knows what the hell will happen? I sure have no clue and well, don't need one at the moment. Just want to enjoy the ride.

I think Adorable will go by the wayside though. I will absolutely keep the date this time, but despite the sexual tension between us...when I compare our conversations to Hottie well, they lack something. And if he does have the deep country accent in person, well...I just can't deal with that. I have been searching for a way to let him down gently should I need to (maybe he won't even like me in person!). Should I tell him I am shallow and can't understand the accent? I just don't know if honesty is the best policy here...suggestions???

The rest of the dates this week are not very serious to me. I never thought I would take such a view of dates with men, but there it is for all the world to see. And, tomorrow nite is the meet up with Joseph to exchange our residual belongings. I will be coming from Larry the Cable Guy date and originally I was planning on going in jeans, but I think I will dress it up. I don't want Joseph back, BUT to see him pine for me just a little or see me look amazing for someone else...guess the little revenge bug is on full display here.

Labels: Adorable, dating, Hottie, Joseph

Thursday nite, my friend Jadey & I went to see Anoushka Shankar. She is Norah Jones half sister. She does Indian music like no one I have ever heard. The night was magical, mystical, seductive with her ragas. I was truly impressed by the talent. If you are into eclectic or Eastern music...go directly to Amazon and buy her album Rise...or better yet, go see her live.

Last nite, my friend Bea & I went out to dinner (yummy mojitos), shopping at Macy's, and then to see Sandra Bullock's new movie Premonition. I liked it. It entertained me and I think Sandra has it going on in Hollywood.

On the weekends I work for this CPA in a university town close by. The rugby field is across the street from her office. Every Saturday I gaze longingly across the parking lot hoping for a glimpse of some eye candy...today I hit the jackpot...must have been about 50 guys out there in the field.

The list of men grows daily. Here is the rundown:

1. Mr. Gorgeous Entrepreneur...he is going to come down to visit me in April. He is very articulate, funny, kind, chatty, and very good-looking. divorced with two children who don't live with him full-time. Lives in Ohio. slightly older than me.

***UPDATE***
2. Adorable Country Boy is back in the pic. I might meet him in person to verify the incompatibility with the accent. I asked him to consider a date next weekend, but I hav ea feeling he is naturally going to be gun shy. He is just so darn sweet! no children, never married. Lives 1 hour away. My age.

We are going out on Sunday. I will not (I keep repeating this to myself) talk to him on the phone between now & then. And he is very sexy. I mean accent aside I think he is hot and I get warm fuzzy spine tingles when we chat.

***UPDATE***
3. Hot College Guy is nice looking, funny, witty, charming. We are having a drink tomorrow nite when I get out of the office. He lives in the town where I work on the weekends. He is in his late 20's so we have a bit of an age difference. no children, never married.

The date went very well...I mean the first words out of Hot College Guy were "OMG, You are so HOT!" We hung out, had some beers, joked around. I would definitely hang out with him again. Not relationship material, but a lot of fun. You can't go wrong when a hottie thinks you are a hottie. Nice arm & eye candy.

***UPDATE***
4. Art Professor is 10 years older, artistic, articulate, sweet. He is very chatty which I like and we are enjoying getting to know one another. Lives in neighboring state (3 hrs away). divorced, no children.

Not the one for me, but I already committed to dinner with him Friday nite. He is definitely sweet and talented in the art department....but a bit too--strange--for my taste. Maybe I will feel differently after meeting him in person.


***UPDATE***
5. Local guy (I can't even come up with a good nickname for this one) Larry the Cable Guy. He is not much to look at. Sorta funny. Good taste in music. Not real enthused about him, but having drinks with him on Thursday Wednesday nite. divorced, two children, not living with him. Lives 15 mins away, slightly older.

A few other stragglers are hovering, but I think I need to cap this at 5 for now. Thats what is on tap in Sassy dating department right now. All these guys popped up this week. I really need to do a spreadsheet to stay organized.

Labels: Anoushka Shankar, dating, Sandra Bullock

Utenzi & Fatman- you will be happy to know that I have taken my self-pity and directed towards the gym. I am kicking the fitness plan into ultra high gear. No men for me...celibacy central. I think the biker dude thing is less emotional as far as me wanting to be with him and more he beat me to the punch on breaking up. Sounds silly I know, but there it is. Regardless, I am running, walking, biking, tai ching, pilateing, etc. I should have one killer body when it is all said & done.

Roselle--girl, seriously, lets meet. Martinis on a beach works for me. We must talk. I live within hours of several beaches.

Labels: Beach, celibacy, exercise, new life

Yup, it is wallow in self-pity week for the old Sassy Assy. Heard from Biker Dude and we are going to see each other for a final exchange of lingering items and he wants to tell me about his bike week in Fl. His best friend told him he was an idiot for letting me slip through his fingers. I don't see any reunions on the horizon though. I miss him, but he is not the right one for me. I just wish I could dislike him or something so it would not hurt so much and when I am alone in bed...not wishing he was there. I am still dabbling with the internet dating scene to take my mind off him. Got a nice chatty friendship going on with Mr. Gorgeous Entrepreneur out of Ohio and a date with a local guy. I am not real excited over the latter, but oh well. I spent the weekend wondering if I did the right thing with Adorable Country Boy. I mean what if he had some dentistry work or something?

I have a great group of gals to support me, but they never seem available when I need them the most. My issue. I think I need a vacation.

Labels: Biker Dude, dating, lonely

Tonight Ryan & I took her nephew out to eat. At the end of the meal, this woman who was sitting at the table behind us stopped in front of me to compliment me on my shoes. She then handed me this flyer and told me she had just opened her business and I should come by to see her. I looked down and see that she is a psychic. Now, I am not into all that, I don't read my horoscope, and I know next to nothing about astrology, etc. So I just smiled at her and thanked her. She said to me, "I have a lot to tell you, so I really want you to come see me. You don't need to tell me anything...I tell you." So again I thanked her and said "Okay". She then says "You have one of the most beautiful auras I have ever seen. You have a big heart and you are very peaceable. You yearn for peacefulness in your life and it is going to happen. Also something you are working on that is artistic is going to be very successful. This year you will get some things you have wanted very much and you will not be conflicted and pulled in so many directions like you have been."

I am taking it all with my usual grain of salt. But hey, how often does a girl get told that she has one of the most beautiful auras around????

Labels: auras, dreams come true, psychic

My friend Jadey gave me and Bea tickets to the musical Menopause the Musical last night. I was looking pretty hot in my cute black mini-skirt and sexy little top with a hint of the phenomenal tits framed in a bit of ruffled purple bra that deliberately peeked through. I had to run an errand in our trendy downtown restaurant/bar area before meeting up with Bea. I managed to catch the eye of five men in one of the trendy bars apparently. The "point man" they sent out to me baffles me though:

I was standing down the block from the bar learning against a building on my cell phone when he approached me and asked if he could use my phone. Well, I was a bit annoyed with this guy right from the get-go and the wall of alcohol fumes emanating from him would have knocked me over had I not been leaning against the wall already. This guy must have been at least 60 and he definitely thought he still had it going on. Anyway, Sassy let the man use her phone to make his "call". I am fairly certain it was a wrong number. As soon as he got off he asked if I was from the area and when I said yes he said he had not seen me around and would definitely notice me. I shrugged waiting to be handed my phone. He then asked if he could buy me a beer and gestured to the aforementioned bar. I glanced over when he gestured and there were no less then 4 of his fellow businessmen gawking at what must be considered the worst pick-up routine of this year. Let's hope they were taking notes of what not to do. Then I realize the old guy could not pry his eyes off the girls and he asked me if I were cold (I had no jacket on). I said I was meeting a friend and had to go. Now, a great scenario would have been: younger man, not sloshed, who came up and said "You caught my eye, may I buy you a drink and get to know you." But nooooo...I get the flakes & psychos. Some things never change (right Diane?)!

I get to Jadey & Bea's business to pick up Bea and I told Jadey my story. She started laughing and said, "Darling, you look positively ravishing with the girls all showcased like that. I am surprised you didn't have a line of men following you down the street for a closer look."

Anyway, Menopause the Musical is funny. I really wasn't sure what to expect, except that I figured the entire female population of my town was going to be there. It was quite funny--especially the last couple of numbers: a very interesting take on the song "Good Vibrations". I am sure the 20 men in the audience were ready to flee in embarrassment.

Have a great weekend my dear blogger buddies!

Labels: boobs, men, worst pick-up ever

There it is! I thought I was snob free, but I discovered last night that I am an accent snob and I am canceling a date because of it. I have been chatting with Mr. Adorable Country Boy for a little over a week now and we have a big date planned for Saturday. I am canceling. My internet went poof last night in the middle of a chat so I grabbed up the phone and called him. We have never talked on the phone. It was a rude awakening. You see I have pics of him and his chat logs and I had this image in my head what he was going to sound like...a nice soft Southern gentleman's accent. WRONG! I could barely understand him his southern country boy accent was soooo bad. I could not wait to get off the phone, but Sassy etiquette prevented me from immediately hanging up. It was an agonizing phone call for me.

So I am sending him a "Dear John" email and no, I am not telling him I am canceling because of his accent. I am going to tell him another truth that I have been trying to avoid. I know in my heart of hearts if Biker Dude called me up right now and made amends I would give him one more try. I am not over him. I thought I could be a flip modern woman and shrug off the breakup and jump back in the ring. I thought I could pretend that he did not find his way into my heart. I just don't have the heart to do the dating thing right now. So I also plan to cancel the other date I scheduled for next week with a different guy.

And that decision is going to be a wise one for now for another reason: I am down to my last two classes for my BBA and they are going to be tough with two personal papers and two team papers due every week. Hell, I will be lucky if I have time to sleep between school and work.

I am going to end this post on a funny note. I had decided to text message adorable country boy yesterday. Well, his name is the same as the ex-boyfriend who turned gay. I thought I had deleted ex-boyfriend from my phone. NOPE! Guess who I was texting? OMG! and ex-boyfriend's last text message said to me "Luv ya"! I am hoping:


1) that he did not have my number plugged into his cell and thought I was just a random wrong number and not a stalking ex-girlfriend

2) that he was enjoying his joke whether he knew it was on me or not. I was mortified when I realized what I had done, but considering how last night turned out, I think I am glad it was sent to him instead.

PS:
So you guys don't think I am completely heartless, this is what I wrote to adorable country boy:

"I am afraid I am going to cancel on Saturday. I feel bad and I hate that it is so last minute, but I am feeling conflicted. I told you I had dated someone since I became separated. It is only recently that we stopped seeing each other and I thought I was just fine going right back into the dating scene. However, if my friend called me tomorrow and said he wanted to try again, I would go back without hesitation. That is not fair to you and you are so sweet that I just don't want to be the cause of any hurt. I realize I should have figured this out before now and I cannot apologize enough for what must appear as leading you on."

Also, I had a voice mail from adorable country boy at lunch and I let Ryan listen to it...she could not understand him either.

Labels: accents, Biker Dude, dating, snob

I am so having a blonde life at the moment. When I get into tax season, I get into tax season. I live, eat, sleep, dream taxes & tax law. I am weary! Friday night I got home and I could not get my door to unlock and I was getting quite agitated when I look up and realize that I was struggling to open the apartment door below mine! Jeez! The old couple that lives in that apartment were probably terrified. I am really hoping they were not home. Back when I worked full time for a CPA, I would go home and fall asleep while taking a shower I was so tired. I have not done that yet, but close, very close.

I went with Ryan to a bridal show today. When asked by the various vendors if I was the bride-to-be, I answered, "No, I am the anti-bride". While cruising through this hullabaloo I came up with a brainstorm and one of the vendors loved my idea. I want to develop a Divorce Showcase and take it on the road. I will have divorce lawyers there, people offering make-overs, life coaches, dating services, financial advisors. The potential is awesome! I think it can work and I may just have found my business project for graduation. I was glad to get out of the bridal show (sorry Ry!). Ryan's mother was on a mission to find a man for me there. I asked her if she got the irony of looking for a SINGLE AVAILABLE man at a bridal show.

Well, I was not going to continue with the internet dating scene, but in Hellsville USA where I live, finding single men is hard. So I decided to stick with what works for me. The options have not changed much in the short hiatus from that scene. I joined Match.com and there are several potentials. I think I will absolutely barf if I read another line about wanting to find a girl to treat like a princess or hold hands walking along the shore. Gag! Anyway, I have a date for Saturday lined up. We are going to dinner & a movie. He is driving almost 2 hours to meet me. We shall see what happens. He does not have kids (thank goodness!) and he appears to have a good sense of humor, he likes to dance and said he is willing to learn tango. I have no nickname for him---yet! It maybe a quick trip to the Sassy graveyard. Wish me luck! Maybe I should just become a serial dater. Dating is much more fun than all the relationship nitty gritty.

The anti-bride is taking herself off to bed (alone, sigh).

Labels: anti-bride, dating, divorce, Ryan