We have lost even this twilight.
No one saw us this evening hand in hand
while the blue night dropped on the world.

I have seen from my window
the fiesta of sunset in the distant mountain tops.

Sometimes a piece of sun
burned like a coin between my hands.

I remembered you with my soul clenched
in the sadness of mine that you know.

Where were you then?
Who else was there?
Saying what?
Why will the whole of love come on me suddenly
when I am sad and feel you are far away?

The book fell that is always turned to at twilight
and my cape rolled like a hurt dog at my feet.

Always, always you recede through the evenings
towards where the twilight goes erasing statues.

Labels: Pablo Neruda

Every year around this time I write a post about my mother. Each year between her death seems to lessen the pain of the loss a fraction. I managed to make it most of this month without crying until I unpacked a box over the weekend. I came upon some cookbooks that I inherited from my mom. One of them sent me hurtling back in time:



Mom taught me how to cook and bake from the time I was a tot. She would always set aside a "mommy n me" day and we would do a host of things. Usually, I was content to be in the kitchen with her on those days. She would pull down this cookbook and hand it to me. I could pick any cake I wanted in the book and we would bake it. I loved the looks of the cake on the cover, but I never chose that one. I always went to the poppyseed cake.



I don't know why I was drawn to it (maybe an early poppyseed addiction?), but I just loved the picture with the poppyseeds sprinkled all over the icing.

So *cheers* to my mother and our fun poppyseed cake baking days.

Labels: memories, mom

I found this free photo editing site that I love. You should try Picnik. It is fun to play around on. I took this photo on my cell phone, uploaded it to Picnik and tweaked the busy background. Such fun! I was getting ready for a party tonight and I wanted a friend's opinion on my appearance. I decided I liked the picture, but wanted to tweak it a bit. I think it turned out quite well, given the low res from a cell phone camera.

Labels: Picnik

Your result for The Sexual HELL Test...

HELL LEVEL 1

Raw score: 52%

Take The Sexual HELL Test at HelloQuizzy

If I get this new position (I will know this week whether I will take it or not), I intend to celebrate with another tattoo. Those things are addictive. I am going to get a butterfly put on one of the girls (the right one to be exact). I have been scouting for some pictures to get an idea of what I want.I might go for a much smaller rendition of this, but then Roger the really cool tat artist might have some other funky ideas for a butterfly tat. I know the colors will be pink, purple and teal or jade green.




I discovered that I am very turned on when a guy kisses my ankle tattoo when we are together. I can't explain it, but it sends warm cold chills up and down my spine. I figure one on the PTs will really spark some heat in me (and said guy)!

I have been busy with work-work and homework. I finally finished one of the two major projects tonight with 3 minutes to spare. It was an agonizing assignment. I feel drained. I am sitting here with a cup of cocoa spiked with Capn Morgan's Spiced Rum (heaven in a cup) and I am chatting with one o' my guys.

I had two dates this week! One with my guy Bryan and another with a new guy. Sunday I am meeting up with a friend in Greensboro. I met Blue on OKC and we have bonded. I love an intellectual guy who has a sense of humor and sense of adventure. We decided to meet halfway to create mischief and laughter. We were laughing tonight over the fact that I haven't obsessively googled him and man--he is all over google. He has written books, he works for gaming company so he has left his mark there, and he has done some movies (low budget icky horror things--sorry Blue--ya know I don't intend to watch'em any time soon). He is one cool dude!

I also met a guy from L.A. He is an actor (and yes I did obsessively google him and he is the real McCoy). He is a bit older than I like, but impeccably groomed and well-spoken. He is originally from NYC and he said he is a bit tired of the plastic women of Hollywood. He wants to get to know a certain SassyAssy. I might have to rent one of his movies and check out his acting abilities sometime this weekend. That might be an intriguing situation...maybe I will get invited to a red carpet event.

Labels: Guilty pleasures

These are my "peeps". D & I hosted a business networking event last night and we had several restaurants represented there, so we decided we all had to continue the fun at the respective restaurants to show our support. We were pretty wound up last night by the time this pic was taken. The lone guy, well, he had more than his fill of ta-ta conversation and we rocked his world when Steph and I did a ta-ta touch test to compare firmness...she paid for her ta-tas and we wanted to see what the difference was between them.

Labels: Autumn Fun Times

I write a lot of "fluff" posts about silly and mostly highly exaggerated events from my life--I am sure you never guessed that. One thing my mamma taught me was to find the humor in any situation. It is a survival tactic.

Love seems like such a simple concept. It should be simple...man and woman meet, sparks fly, chemistry sets explode and the rest is history. It seems that doesn't happen enough. I know a handful of couples that are in love and love each other. I look at them with amazement and wonder "will that type of love ever be in my life?"

We all have baggage we drag around and into relationships and that baggage causes us to stumble through the whole love maze. I used to love my baggage as it was a great security blanket. But I just don't want to lug that around any longer. I use it to build up my biceps for a day or so and then leave it behind. I may look at pictures of it from time to time to remind me where I have come from and how much stronger and better I am today, but I don't pick it back up.

Will love come to me? It has in various forms, but romantic love doesn't seem to stay. I desire it to come camp out for the rest of my life. I desire to meet the "one", but I refuse to get discouraged. Life is too sweet and too interesting to let my happiness hang on that one factor alone. And as I have said before--life is a rollercoaster and I signed up for the full-impact, live life to the fullest adventure package. Whether love comes or not...I intend to be a happy person who enjoys what life has to offer.

Labels: love

I was chatting with a friend of mine today and he said that smart hawt women have it rough cause they are:
1) Smart
2) Hawt

Apparently, that combination just is a difficult one for attracting the right men. Or that is the conclusion that we came to. Marqy-Marq and I are on the same dating site and we have struck up a friendship. He reads my blog on the dating site and he read my recent post there about me attracting all these married men of late.

Some of the married men on there either posted on that blog or sent me private messages that I was HAWT and that is why I am garnering all the attention from them. Some of them even asked me to give them a chance...cause they have a different situation/arrangement/life than the typical married but looking man. Really? Cause all the stories sound the same to me! Like I told them...that is just not for me...no judgement but I want all the attention...being #2 doesn't sit well with me. As of right now, I have had an invite to Arkansas, NYC, and MD for a little fun on the side. Fun for whom? Possibly me for the moment, but not afterward.

The other men that have been coming on with a vengeance are the 60+ set. Lord, do I look like I need a grandfather figure??? Ewwwwww.....I will stick with my vibrator or one of my boy-toys thanks so very much!

Labels: men

I definitely walk to the beat of my own drum with my plum streaked hair. I love it, it looks great, and of course, it grabs a lot of attention. I stumbled upon a website that just puts a whole new spin on hair color.

The premise of Betty's hair color is to color the hair down there! Now from one perspective...to color gray hair down there--that makes sense, but Fun (hot pink) and Malibu (fluorescent blue)? That would definitely bring a pregnant pause to a first time encounter after coloring your coochie. As much fun as I have with coloring my hair, I just don't think I can bring myself to go this route.

I would get caught in the middle of the color processing. I can see it now:

"Honey, ummm...why do you have aluminum foil in your coochie hair? Should I be concerned with aliens or something?" Poor boyfriend sports a bemused look on face.

"Oh, hey!" as I sit legs splayed on the toilet seat trying to act nonchalant. "Well, I have a little surprise for you. What do you think?" I would hold up a merkin with various streaks of colors: Fun, Malibu, BuzzKill (lime green), DiscoDiva (metallic gold), PurplePeopleEater (violet purple). "Care to guess which color I went with?"

Bemused boyfriend backs out of the bathroom and mumbles something about needing a drink or five.

Labels: Lets all color our coochies

An acquaintance had a discussion at a recent dinner about whether it would be better to die from an orgasm or from eating your favorite dessert. A WHOLE conversation about this! Apparently, several men decided that their exes' respective carrot cake and tiramisu were the way to go rather than in the middle of an orgasm.

I have to admit, I make a to-die-for White Russian Tiramisu, which truth be told has garnered me many woos from men; however, if I had to choose whether to die in the midst of the most fantastic sex or finishing off my fantabulous tiramisu--I know what I am going to choose...and it may very well involve some whipped cream.

Labels: Orgasms or Dessert?

As soon as the current flavor issues the ill-fated phrase, "Lets plan a beach trip", I know that the countdown has begun. The first time it happened, I had made the reservations at his behest and two weeks before we were to go, he broke up with me.

The next guy who uttered the phrase disappeared on me the week before, only to resurface many months later. I got wise after that incident and when a guy utters the phrase "you, me & a beach trip" I express mild enthusiasm, encourage HIM to make the reservations, and start placing bets with the gfs when the break-up will be. It is a running joke now amongst my circle. The beach obviously knows something I don't about these gentlemen and it doesn't want me there with the wrong guy.

Nicholas and I are a planning a weekend getaway Halloween weekend if all goes as planned. He fortunately has not uttered the ill-fated words. We are meeting in Charlottesville, VA. He is making all the reservations and plans....I merely have to show up. This is a novelty for me. It seems it has always been on my shoulders to plan weekend getaways. I have never had a guy do it all and I am looking forward to it. I am excited about spending time with him.

Nicholas is an extremely intelligent man and I enjoy our conversations. He is also very good looking and more than a little eye candy for me. I feel like a teenager when he calls and my friend D can attest that I have a glow and huge smile on my face when Nicholas and I talk. She has banned me from talking to him when I drive with her in the car. I confess, I gaze longingly at his picture many times a day. He is a beautiful looking man...yummers...and I get to have him to myself for a weekend. Of course, I hope it leads to many more such weekends and he has expressed the same sentiment. Time will tell. I am excited about him and seeing where it all goes, but the practical side is holding back and just waiting to see what happens.

Labels: Nicholas

According to 1-800-Flowers.com:

Ex Day is October 16th!

Send our stunning fresh bouquet of gorgeous green and white blooms to reconnect with a long-lost "Ex"! Order one today and make their day as unforgettable as they are to you!

• The freshest carnations, Gerbera daisies, Asiatic lilies, daisy poms, button poms and more, all in gorgeous shades of green and white
• Arranged by our select florists in a clear glass gathering vase accented with raffia; measures 8"H
• Components may vary
• Arrangement measures approximately 18”H x 14”D

A terrific way to share a gift of stunning beauty with a past love and never let them forget you care!

What's The Story?
Inspired by CBS' new series, THE EX LIST, "Ex Day" on October 16th is the perfect day to reconnect with your "Ex" and who knows…sparks could fly again! And what better way to surprise them than with this fabulous bouquet of fresh green and white flowers!

I guess Hallmark will be coming out with a complimentary card line for Ex Day also! Now why didn't I come up with this idea????

Labels: Ex Day

I love to blog and although I do get a tingle when I see someone has commented, that has never really been the driver for me to write. I like the anonymity and the freedom to throw my thoughts, stories, fears out into the wind where anyone can read them.

I belong to a group called the Extraordinary Women's Circle. It is a coaching group and I love it! One of the things we have been working on is sharing a celebration, a gratitude, and a desire. So I thought I would post that here also:

My celebration for the week is having Nicholas arrange a weekend getaway for us.
My gratitude for the week is having a wonderful client who is responsive and pays promptly.
My desire is to have a steady workload beginning on Monday.

So there ya go, I am letting my sappy show through today!

Happy Weekend everyone!

Labels: Celebrations Gratitude Desires

I was a bit flummoxed this week when a former lover told me he could not bear to read my blog any longer because I was a train wreak waiting to happen with the getting drunk and sleeping with strangers posts I had been making. I was rather confused as the only post I wrote about getting drunk recently was Autumn Celebration. I do mention getting together with Bryan. He is less of a stranger to me in terms of actual face time than the former lover was when we first had sex.

It seems to me that sex with strangers happens more with someone you know. I was married to a man who never knew or understood me. I was with this former lover, but he never really lets people get close to him, so how well did I know him? He apparently doesn't know me as well as he likes to think if he is determined to believe that I will have sex with complete strangers I picked up in a bar. I have to wonder what is really going on with him. It can't be that I have been with other men, because he has read many posts about that since we broke up. I don't believe he is in love with me because I don't think he has given his heart in years due to fear. I don't believe it is concern for me because a concerned person would take some action (hey Sassy, we need to talk...I am concerned about recent events in your life, what the hell are you doing? Are you okay? Is there something I can do for you?).

I have never done the "sleep with just anyone from a bar" and never will. I felt safe when I did my partying because I was with some good friends who watched my back. Yes, they did get a laugh out of some of my antics that I can't recall doing, but in the end, I went home with people I knew. I knew Bryan well enough. We have mutual friends, he has a good reputation in the community. He ensured we made it home safely. He never hurt me. He and I have been in communication since that night and have plans to see each other again. That is not my definition of sex with a stranger.

Bryan is a gentleman and the kind of guy a girl can just hang around or have a relationship with. We haven't defined any parameters for us. We enjoy each others company, we obviously have some great chemistry that we wish to explore further, but neither is willing to be in a committed relationship at this point. We are honest and open with each other about our expectations or lack thereof. It works for both of us right now.

So contrary to this lover's stance, I am doing fine. I did have an emotional punch out this summer (which I never talked about only alluded to on my blog) but as with everything...time will heal that wound also. Life is a rollercoaster and I signed up for the deluxe package.

Labels: Complexity

I was in Greensboro, NC, today and I met up with a friend of mine at the Green Bean in downtown G'boro. I have been to the area before with him, but he always drove. I got there thanks to the GPS Bitch--or at least in the vicinity. I still had to find the place. I headed across the parking lot and encountered freaky guy number one (although on hindsight he was probably the most normal of the bunch I encountered). He stared at me right up until we were face to face and then he said, "Girl, you are just a delight for my eyes...mmmmmmmm." I tossed a thank you over my shoulder and kept on going.

This helpful, albeit directionally-challenged, girl sent me in the wrong direction. When I realized it and turned back, I picked up "Homer". Homer clearly had been drinking rather than working all day as he tried to convince me. I couldn't shake Homer because he was determined to see the "little lady" to the Green Bean safely. A block away from the Green Bean, I picked up three more guys in the freak parade...friends of Homer. All very determined to help me. When at last GB came into sight across the street, I ran as fast as my high heels could carry me. Tossing a "Thanks guys" to my disappointed fan club. Thank god they did not follow me in.

Hottie Z--I am telling you, my friend, you have got to be a better bodyguard! Thanks for getting me back to my car without incident. Those lethal Marine skills definitely come in handy at times. Thanks for dinner...guess we need to find the new location of our favorite Mexi place, eh?

I wish I knew what the beacon is that beckons my parade of freaks. It must be a tricky pheromone or the purple streaks in my hair or the cute lil tattoo on my ankle. What a lucky girl I am!

Labels: freaky-deaky, Hottie Z

That is Felipe my dance instructor. Isn't he a hottie. I love dancing with him. I always feel like a sexed up Ginger Rogers dancing with him. We have a blast during my lesson. On Sunday we danced a Rumba to Funky Cold Medina and at the end he encouraged me to do some of my signature Sassy moves. When I finished up he decided he needs to take me to this edgy urban dance club in Charlotte to showcase my sexiness.

Labels: Felipe

Asshole of the Year award for the 2nd straight year goes to....

Mr. C


Sorry Utenzi....that ship just isn't going to land at this dock...EVER!

Labels: C is for Crush

I bought a GPS unit for my car. I will be doing some extensive travel in the coming months for business and I thought it would be a handy thing to have. I hate the GPS woman. She is a bitch. I was in Charlotte yesterday to dance and spend time with my nieces and I decided to use the Bitch to get me to the restaurant I was meeting my sister at. I plugged in the address...I got a lovely tour of Charlotte as the Bitch tried to send me back home! I finally shut her off before I tossed her onto the highway.

Jadey and I decided that she really needed to increase her value to me by giving me the following warnings:

-Hot man in car, 10 yds ahead
-Wave at hot man in car next to you
-Great upscale bar and dance floor at next left
-Group of available, attractive professionals 2 miles. Exit to your right
-Warning, you will be stood up by Mr. C so don't hold your breath

One of my projects today is how to get the Bitch to operate correctly. Did I mention I hate her?

Labels: GPS

My life is jam-packed at the moment with school. Sometimes I have to remind myself why I am getting my Masters (more money, more career choices, the accomplishment of it all). I get a wee bit frustrated with all the projects that are due. We are adults taking these courses and we have jobs and lives and I think the professors lose sight of that fact. I keep saying "6 more classes, 6 more classes, 6 more classes". It doesn't sound like much, but two classes during tax season is enough to make anyone slightly batty and frankly, two classes right now is taxing (punny, huh?).

I have a fair amount of work right now, but not consistently. I have been approached by a woman to be her official tax guru on this woman-directed website she is launching soon. She wants me to consider becoming a life coach for women, writing a book, and producing some informational videos. WOW! I told her I needed a few days to think about it. She is enamored with my unique business model and how I work with my clients. She sees great things in my future and she wants to help me achieve them.

Another opportunity came up over the summer. I was hired by an existing client to be her Marketing Director. I stepped up to the challenge. Her business is rapidly growing and expansion into other states is or will be happening in the near future. She wants to me to do not only her accounting and marketing, but also her HR needs. This job will require travel all across the U.S. It is possible I will move temporarily to Baltimore before the year is out. I love to travel and I have no strings tying me down. Very very appealing.

The third opportunity does not have a time frame, but a local life coach I have been working with has mentioned that she envisions me becoming the CFO for her company. She is another who fell head over heels with my unique business model and has been spreading the word that I am an accountant that women should want to deal with.

I am excited about the possibilities that are before me.

Then there is the man front....Bryan, Mr. C, Hottie Nicky-boy....mmmmmm I love having choices. A trifecta in my life on different fronts....coincidence? I think not!

Here's to rolling the dice and creating the horizons.

The only downside right now is the stinkbug invasion! I would so love to throw open my doors and windows to bask in the cool crisp fall air, but alas! the stinkbugs find the tiniest of spaces to crawl in. I have taken to vacuuming them up. I wonder how long they last in a vacuum bag? Can they crawl back out? Ewwwwww!!!

The homework slave has cracked her whip...back to writing papers on tax fraud and better business communication habits. Back to filming video presentations about same subjects. Back to wondering where in the hell my pen went and why the damn <, key keeps popping off the keyboard.

Labels: Horizons