This Sassy girl has been on a quest most of my life to find "love". It is one of the most elusive things despite the fact that most everyone seems to be on a similar path: to find or to keep love. I have hit the age of 40 and have had brief brushes with what could loosely be termed love.

Frankly, the choices I encounter leave me to speculate that I should take the path of pleasure and throw love out the window. On one of my dating profiles, I filled in a tongue in cheek line "I hope if you contact me please God let your picture show you are wearing a wife beater, standing in front of a mirror posing, and please be into hunting and fishing." Snarky doesn't translate well apparently...so my inbox is crammed with emails from every redneck from here to California and a few Canucks too. Let's not leave out the lovely romance scammers who all wish me to raise their non-existent children while they engineer some bridge in Nigeria/Brazil or stay for months on end on an oil rig off the coast of the UK. Then I have the late teen/early 20's set who wish me to teach them "things".

The man I am looking for: the professional who doesn't do drugs or is an alcoholic, who isn't married and cheating on his wife or looking for a third for a threesome, who is smart, funny, charming, sincere, who is not emotionally damaged to the point that he is incapable of love, who is not bipolar or OCD, who does not have six motherless children, who can write more than a passable sentence in English, who is not a closet freak boy, who loves sex, who is capable of commitment, who wants to travel the world and explore possiblities--this man does not exist. I think my odds of having an alien spaceship land on my deck are higher than finding a man that appeals to me on a long term basis.

So perhaps a life of pleasure rather than love should be the choice for Sassy. What do ya'll think?

Labels: love

The great thing about one hit wonders is that they never worry about a repeat performance. They can get in there, do their one thing very very well and move on. No looking back, no wondering if they could improve.

I can't imagine ever being satisfied with the status quo. I could never be a one hit wonder. I want to excel in everything I do and I am always trying to improve.

Take sex...there is so much more to it than the horizontal. I love to watch movies (infer what you wish there); I frequent the sexuality section in B&N (no matter what creepy men are hanging about); I have frank conversations with guy pals to get the inside scoop on best practices; I subscribe to a phenomenal UK magazine called Scarlet to find out the latest and greatest trends, toys, and gossip; I visit some very cool sex boutiques; I watch Sex and the City every night (simply because I love it and I am a junkie). I definitely put into practice what I learn....well the things that are a good fit for me. How can people remain stagnant on such an important topic?

The advantage to having a relationship with one person is there is limitless opportunities to not only enjoy each other, but to explore the many avenues that sex affords. So much sexuality so little time! Being with one person certainly does not have to be boring if both come to the party ready to have fun. It is a blast to try new oils, lotions, flavored condoms, a myriad of positions, toys, and the imagination.

Burn a few candles, pour some wine, strap some CFM shoes on and a sexy bustier and have some fun. Maybe throw in some whipped cream or chocolate sauce for a sweet treat. Sexy is more than being model thin; it is an attitude, a glance, a touch. Sexy is a vibe that anyone can have.

So where am I going with this? I had a one hit wonder encounter this week. The guy and I have obvious tangible chemistry. We have fun together. We had a date and a few beers, shots & pizza later we got into a heavy make out session that led to other more intimate things. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't want to marry this guy, have his babies or even live with him. I would love to go out with him again, but I think he moved on. It is frustrating! The sex was great for both parties and I walked away knowing I would not hear from him again unless he is looking for a booty call. This guy is nice and considerate and I have to wonder....why won't he be calling?

I think it is the One Hit Wonder Syndrome: "I have had that so now I will leave--no need to anticipate another date with Sassy and have to up the ante. I may not be able to top this date so I will stop while I am ahead."

I prefer to think it is this rather than he was just notching up his bedpost, but I should call a spade a spade. I won't be waiting around for his call and if he does...well, I guess if I am in need of servicing I will respond.

Labels: dating

A couple weekends ago, my gal-pal D & I went out for the evening. We were surrounded by 20-something lifeguards who beg us to come party with them. So we do. I was grabbed up by Phred and tongued within an inch of my life.





We picked up Michelle along the way...she decided our cougar club was a lot of fun!

Labels: Cougars

There is nothing like a little (or in this case--a lot) of oral pleasuring to lift a girl's mood! Tex just rocks when it comes to lifting my spirits (temperature, orgasm level....). He popped over for a while yesterday to go swimming and one thing led to another. We eventually made it to the pool for some cooling down. Summer may end up being a great one after all.

Biker Dude did his best last week to convince me that we needed to get back together. He gave me some bull about having always cared about me and still cared about me. I had to kick him out of my apartment...that was a battle. He wanted to stay and keep me company-supposedly fully dressed through the night unless I changed my mind. He even offered to give me my favorite bedtime treat if I let him stay. What an offer! I had to turn it down though...that is a road I won't be traveling down again.

Labels: Biker Dude, Tex

Yes, Utenzi, Biker Dude is back for more sassy sarcasm. I guess he ditched his latest victim and has returned to me to see if I am open for a little fun n games. Since he is treating on the beer and pizza, I humor him by keeping him company in public but the buck stops at my doorstep. I figure it is the least he can do for me after all the history between us. He puts out some moola and I put I out a few hours of my effervescent charm and wit.

You're next Utenzi! Didn't you mention something about me moving in with you???? Hmmmm, I don't think you could afford my champagne tastes darlin!

Labels: Biker Dude

So this yummy specimen has been chatting me up from one of the dating sites I frequent. He would really like some cougar love and is trying to convince me to give him a chance. He definitely got it going on! Mr. Happy thought he had turned his web cam away from him while he changed out of his shorts into his sweats. I got a partial ass view (wow!) and a side view of certain other important parts. OMG! It can't be emphasized enough: this boy has got it going on. I swear he should be a porn star...or maybe he is one. Hell if I know! The equipment is definitely impressive.

He is really working the angle of becoming my cabana boy. What do you all think? Should I hire him?

Labels: Mr. Happy

Tex and I has a little reunion tonight. It was awesome to see him! We hugged, we kissed, we made a date for soon...so very very soon. Seems we both have missed the same things...each other. Nothing like a hawt man to tell you how beautiful you look! I had my hair done today and he kept remarking how lovely I have grown in the month since we last saw each other. I finally remembered to give him his gift. I had bought him the book The Sensuous Woman as a joke. He had told me that was the first book he read cover to cover willingly and when I saw it in the used bookstore, I just had to get it for him. The grin on his face when I gave it to him was worth the price I paid. I suspect I will benefit greatly from this little gift if the parting kiss he gave me was anything to go by.

Labels: Tex

Karma sure does not like me. She foiled another get away attempt and it looks as if my visitors won't be coming at all. I might be staying in my apartment too, but all the packing up and clearing out has been a good thing. Less stuff to maneuver about and clean. Got rid of a lot of memories that were just clogging the apartment up and collecting dust.

So Sassy stays put. Karma better make up for all this bitchiness she has displayed toward me!

Labels: moving

Two friends and a week later my apartment is down to bare bones. It is shocking to gaze around and see next to nothing in my cozy apartment. Sassy's home boutique has not closed yet. Still plenty to get rid of, but I needed some sense of coziness when my visitors come. I have to tackle my storage closet next. Since I haven't gone in there in two years, I figure most of the items in there are destined for the dumpster.

My visitors may be delayed a week and if that is the case, I will be taking a little trip to be with them until they come here. Either way, I am cool with it. I could use a vacay and it will be nice to just go somewhere different and not be surrounded by packed boxes. I should find out tomorrow if I am going to hop a plane this week or not.

Labels: moving