June is that once in a blue moon month this year....it started out with a full moon and will end with a full moon. According to my friends who follow astrology, Mercury is in retrograde (what the hell does that mean anyway????) and hence, June is ripe for the freaks that have appeared outta nowhere.

I received another IM from a sassy lovah wannabe this week and this is how it went:

Freak: Hey, I'm Joe from Nigeria. You are breathtaking. I am wondering if you want to chat. I would love to get to know such a fine lady as yourself.

SassyAssy: So, are you an expat?

Freak: Er, ah, What?

SassyAssy: Did you move from the US to Nigeria?

Freak: I am African-a black man. I was born and raised here in Nigeria. Does that bother you?

SassyAssy: Really, I could care less what color your skin is or what nationality you are. What bothers me is that you live so far away. I did the long distance romance thingy with the ex-husband and how that ended speaks for itself (at this point I am thinking, Sass....why are you bothering to have this conversation????). I am more than happy to chat a few minutes with you, but I am not interested.

Freak: Well, give me a chance. I won't be like the ex. I will come visit you and I will always treat you good. I won't do anything you don't want.

SassyAssy: No, I am not interested.

Freak: But, why? I will be good to you. I promise. We can make it work.

SassyAssy: I told you, no long distance romance!

Freak: I don't understand

Sassy loses patience here and permanently terminates the conversation. Really, I should have ended it before it began. He is just one of the many freaks that have popped up this week on IM and email. I feel quite the fortunate girl.

Lets hope the date I have with the engineer later this week does not hold true to this form. He is humorless--and an engineer--I really have issues with engineers. I have made quite a few jokes when we chat and they fall to deaf ears. This guy went from "I know I have kids and you aren't looking for a man with kids, but I am just looking to expand my friends. You seem like a nice person and I would like to become friends." So then a few days later he asked me out on a date! I was like, dude, I thought you just wanted to be friends? He got irritated with me (go figure!) and then said, "well, friends go out." So I agreed to go out as a friend; however, it has rapidly become apparent he is more than a little interested in me beyond the friendship variety. I think this will be a fast trip to the sassy graveyard! Engineer, kids, no humor--doesn't sound like SassyMan material at all!

Labels: Blue Moon, dating, freaky-deaky