I love the band Maroon 5. The lyrics in the songs just reach out and grab me. One in particular right now really resonates with me:

Nothing Lasts Forever

It is so easy to see
Dysfunction between you and me
We must free up these tired souls
Before the sadness kills us both

I tried and tried to let you know
I love you but I'm letting go
It may not last but I don't know
Just don't know

If you don't know
Then you can't care
And you show up
But you're not there
But I'm waiting
And you want to
Still afraid that I will desert you

Everyday
With every worthless word we get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
But nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way

A bed that's warm with memories
Can heal us temporarily
The misbehaving only makes
The ditch between us so damn deep

Built a wall around my heart
I’ll never let it fall apart
But strangely I wish secretly
It would fall down while I'm asleep

If you don't know
Then you can't care
And you show up
But you're not there
But I'm waiting
And you want to
Still afraid that I will desert you, babe

Everyday
With every worthless word we get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
But nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way

Tough we have not hit the ground
It doesn't mean we're not still falling,
Oh I want so bad to pick you up
But you're still too reluctant to accept my help
What a shame, I hope you find somewhere to place the blame
But until then the fact remains

Everyday
With every worthless word we get more far away
The distance between us makes you so hard to stay
Nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way

Everyday
With every worthless word we get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
But nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way


***

I think there is nothing lovelier than falling in love, but I found recently that even when you love someone it just may not be enough. I was falling in love with Lovah, but I knew he was not the right one. This caused me to act so strangely with him. I was trying to merge what I felt for him with what I knew intellectually. I didn't recognize myself most of the time when we were together. Hell, he must have thought he was dealing with a split personality: the fun person on the phone and the moody person I was when we were together. I think he chalked it up to my fear of commitment, but it had to confuse him too. I couldn't even talk to him about it because I didn't understand it myself.

When I step back and analyze the situation I realize that I was experiencing deja vu. When I was dating the ex-hub, I fell in love with him--a very passionate love. That feeling is phenomenal! However, I knew on an intellectual level we weren't right for each other. I plowed ahead believing love would conquer all. Reality is a bitch! You just cannot fit a square peg in a round hole without damaging the structural integrity of the peg.

I broke up with Lovah and left so many things unsaid. I was talking with a wise old friend last night who told me I had to let it go. So I am writing this post as a way to let it go. Casting the conflict in my mind and heart upon the winds to carry it away. I don't know what else to do with it because I find that by keeping it tight inside is affecting me physically with migraines.

Labels: Lovah, Maroon 5, Nothing Lasts Forever