Sexual nightmares and other nonsense
1. He thinks removing your panties is foreplay
2. He couldn't find your vagina if you had a big arrow pointing to it
3. He thinks Clit is an abbreviation for the Creative Lit class you are taking
4. He pumps up and down rapidly like he is hammering nails....start to finish...no variation in rhythm
5. The cat's licks on your toes are more exciting than his kisses
6. You are making a mental note to dust the ceiling fan off rather than trying to figure out what the hell he is doing
7. You wonder if he thinks mute is the normal reaction of a woman having an orgasm
8. You question if he even knows women can have orgasms
9. You glance at the clock and ask if it could possibly go over the five minute mark
10. Since he never penetrated, you wonder where the hell he put his penis (and you thank the Greek gods that he put it someplace other than inside you)
These are the top highlights from
A) Sassy's date with psycho-Sci-Fi Guy
B) Your last date
What horror stories do you have to share...come on, bare it on the Glitter Whore Confessional.
posted by SassyAssy @ Friday, October 05, 2007
8 Comments:
Hmm..that would be along the lines of him telling you he's not interested in you because you are too heavy but yet he still tried to have sex with you later?
I mean that's a MAJOR turn on right? :)
Mercy--ouch! Yeah, that would be a real turn on for me! We will add that idiot to the Sassy Dating Wall of Shame.
Hmmm. I like women on the heavy side but my last girlfriend was in really great shape. She could have used an extra pound here and there. She was almost too perfect.
Utenzi--she must be a fool if she is the "last girlfriend"...sounds like you are a keeper.
Not so much. I'm guilty of a number of the points on your list here, Sassy. Especially #1. Once those panties are off, it's time to play!
Hmmmm...at least it is play time for you, Utenzi...this guy went right for the kill bypassing "play" time completely. Sorry, I can't put your name on the Sassy Dating Wall of Shame.
Maybe if I try harder? Or would that be not try as hard?
I dated that guy!..
he whupped off his pants and his penis was TEENY!
I think we got to the jack-hammering part cause I was in shock
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