1. He thinks removing your panties is foreplay
2. He couldn't find your vagina if you had a big arrow pointing to it
3. He thinks Clit is an abbreviation for the Creative Lit class you are taking
4. He pumps up and down rapidly like he is hammering nails....start to finish...no variation in rhythm
5. The cat's licks on your toes are more exciting than his kisses
6. You are making a mental note to dust the ceiling fan off rather than trying to figure out what the hell he is doing
7. You wonder if he thinks mute is the normal reaction of a woman having an orgasm
8. You question if he even knows women can have orgasms
9. You glance at the clock and ask if it could possibly go over the five minute mark
10. Since he never penetrated, you wonder where the hell he put his penis (and you thank the Greek gods that he put it someplace other than inside you)

These are the top highlights from
A) Sassy's date with psycho-Sci-Fi Guy
B) Your last date

What horror stories do you have to share...come on, bare it on the Glitter Whore Confessional.

Labels: Sexual encounters of the bizarre kind