I thought I would be chomping at the bit to get back to the allure the online dating sites usually hold for me, but not so much. I think I am living in the wrong place for the type of demographic I want to market myself to. So much else going on....contemplating becoming a junior partner, the impending divorce, dreaming of a vacation.

I think I am through with the distractions I was affording myself with this aimless, mindless dating treadmill I hopped on a year ago. I am ready to contemplate what I want for me. It is no secret that my marriage was made in hell. I had high hopes and dreams of being married to my best friend and growing old together. I miss the comfortableness a long term relationship--even a bad one--affords. I miss hugs--the kind where he comes up behind you and envelopes you completely. I miss the passionate kisses. I want LOVE. I want to feel it, give it, receive it! I want the goofy warm glow, the stars in my eyes, walk on air, rush into the arms of my lover kind of love. I just want it with the right person this time and I want it reciprocated in kind.

I keep having flashes of visions--me in a foreign country--England or Australia so I am going ahead and renewing my passport sooner rather than later. I had flashes of me in a hammock with some man. I can't see his face, but I feel safe, comfortable, at peace in his arms. This probably seems silly to most of you--these flashes of mine, but I have learned not to ignore them.

Recently, I knew the week before that Adorable would be showing up on my doorstep--I saw it clearly. I had no reason to think that because he dropped completely off the face of the earth. I had a flash that I would be going to Canada sometime this fall and bam! the invite comes unexpectedly into my life. I am not saying I have any special powers, but I am very in tune with my intuition and I can't think of when it has failed me.

Life is exciting and so many possibilities, twists n turns are out there. I just want to drink it in and let it lead me in the right direction.

Labels: Randomness of thoughts