Its been a banner week on the Glitter Whore Ranch! The most recent weirdos/psychos to have traversed my path and got booted, returned to haunt me.

Back in May I started to see an IT guy. He was funny and fun to begin with. We went on several dates. He made it very clear that he was interested in more than casual dating and of course, that was right up my alleyway. He ended up being unstable and he sent me a nasty email to "never ever contact him again." Not a problem for me because I was done with his drama. Yeah, he turned up this week. Even asked me to join him for a drink tonight. Ugh! Not a chance in hell!

Then another blast from the past...a youngster who was/is hot that I went out with a couple of times. The last time I saw him, I sent him out for condoms and he never returned. So he contacted me tonight and tells me that he just has to see me and that the night he never returned, he got jailed for drinking and driving. Whatever!

Got another guy who stood me up for every date we ever scheduled, begging me to go out with him. I have to admit, I just string him along and then either don't show or have some dumb excuse for not meeting. He keeps coming back for more.

When it rains it pours. I think I will just stick with my Seattle biker lad...he at least shows up and treats me like gold.

Labels: psycho-magnet

Biker Dude called me this weekend. That is not an extraordinary thing as we usually chat when he is between women (and he is hoping I will change my mind about a bootay call). This call was a bit different...he asked me to take him shopping for a new suit. Now, Biker Dude is not what I would call a fashion plate. He thankfully recognized he needed some wardrobe direction. I agreed to play his personal shopper if he told me the real reason he wanted a new suit. Its actually kinda sweet: he was contacted by his childhood sweetie and they are going to have a reunion later this month. He wants to knock her socks off.

I dragged the man to Macy's for our first (and thank god!) only stop. He had some strange idea that Macy's = Sear's in clothing quality. Did I mention this man is also a whole lotta OCD and a former Marine???? He had to have a three-piece suit with a vest. He wanted these special tabbed collared shirts. He gave me a budget of $700 and after three grueling hours I had the man looking damn sharp. I found his suit, shoes, shirts, ties, belt, socks all for less than $450. I even sweet talked the helpful salesclerk into giving us about $70 off in various discounts (truth be told, I think she was glad it was me running my ass off and not her and that is why she gave the discounts).

On a couple of occasions I went into the men's fitting room with the man and we closed the door (the mirror could only be viewed with the door closed). It amused me to see the looks of 1)interest 2)amusement 3)surprise on the faces of the people who saw me come out of the fitting room with Biker Dude. I am quite positive they thought a little bootay action was going on in there (hell, he always was fast so I guess that was definitely feasible).

To his credit, he is eternally grateful to me helping him spruce his wardrobe and saving him a bundle. He took me out for dinner and drinks afterward. My eyes glazed over a bit hearing him recite the perfections of his new goddess, but the romantic soul that hides deep within wishes him the fairytale ending we should all get at least once in our life.

I figure I have done my good deed for the year...now its time for my fairytale ending!

Labels: Biker Dude, Good Deeds