A Glitter Whore Goes Shopping

Cold Comfort City

2009-11-02T22:39:00.005-05:00

I have limped along with this blog "nursing it like a sick marmot" to quote Cold Comfort Farm. Its been fun and cathartic at times. I have met some fab people through the blog, but my heart is not in it as is apparent by my decreasing entries.

I found a life and I am busy. Five more weeks and I will graduate with my Masters! My business is thriving and I have little spare time with that going full throttle into tax season in two short months. My love life? Well, that is becoming less and less a rollercoaster ride. It is still fodder for humorous purposes, but it is not the focus of my life any longer. Maybe I am taking stock of my life since becoming a grandma? Nah! I am the type of "nana" to take the kid to get a new tattoo rather than a toy ;-)

I am living life to the full. I love the group of friends I have surrounded myself with. I have some very sweet man-friends that I enjoy spending time with. School is almost done! I have a movie I am going to be involved with in 2010 (yep, with a real Hollywood producer). I have co-formed a supper club, I am in a book club, and I am being dragged to a singles circle. I have a chic new 'do, a new tattoo, and lots of glitter to go round. What more can a girl ask for?

I will be around, checking on my favorite blogs, writing snarky comments on Facebook and charming the neighbors! Muah!

Here is the new tat (well 2 mos old now):

Summer's End & Cirque d'Insane

2009-09-09T22:05:00.002-05:00

Wow! Summer has ended and where did it go?

Summer started in Seattle for me and it is going to end (belatedly) in Seattle too. I am headed back there next week to hang with my guy, Brian. We both finally realized that whatever "it" is between us is here to stay (since I don't own a magic 8 ball, I can't say for how long). Brian is considering moving here to Sassyland to be near me. One of the things we will be discussing next week. I can't wait to be with him. He is a sweetie and he adores me. Who wouldn't love that???? It is refreshing that a man wants to make or is even considering making such a big move/sacrifice for me. He is the first in a long long time.

******

This past weekend was quite the hootenany (aka Cirque d'Insane) for my sister and I. We went to Pennsylvania for a cousin's funeral. My sister's family is quite ...colorful...for want of a kinder word. All manner of relatives crawled out of holes to attend and frankly some of them should have just stayed put. The bright side was connecting with cousins I had not seen in over 25 years. The down side was being uber stressed out from the ridiculous behaviors displayed by the parental unit generation.

We had my eight year old niece with us and we stopped in Hershey Park so she would have at least one pleasant memory from this weekend. That was fun! I loved seeing her face light up when she saw the wall of Reeses. That kid is amazing and I just love her! I loaded up on chocolate too! We needed mass quantities to cope!

So that is my summer wrap up. I probably won't be posting again until I return from Seattle. Hope everyone had a great summer like I did. I have been ridiculously busy with building my practice, finishing my masters (in the home stretch with the final two classes), and traveling. Life is great!

Ciao

Back on the Ranch

2009-08-06T23:22:00.003-05:00

Its been a banner week on the Glitter Whore Ranch! The most recent weirdos/psychos to have traversed my path and got booted, returned to haunt me.

Back in May I started to see an IT guy. He was funny and fun to begin with. We went on several dates. He made it very clear that he was interested in more than casual dating and of course, that was right up my alleyway. He ended up being unstable and he sent me a nasty email to "never ever contact him again." Not a problem for me because I was done with his drama. Yeah, he turned up this week. Even asked me to join him for a drink tonight. Ugh! Not a chance in hell!

Then another blast from the past...a youngster who was/is hot that I went out with a couple of times. The last time I saw him, I sent him out for condoms and he never returned. So he contacted me tonight and tells me that he just has to see me and that the night he never returned, he got jailed for drinking and driving. Whatever!

Got another guy who stood me up for every date we ever scheduled, begging me to go out with him. I have to admit, I just string him along and then either don't show or have some dumb excuse for not meeting. He keeps coming back for more.

When it rains it pours. I think I will just stick with my Seattle biker lad...he at least shows up and treats me like gold.

My Good Deed for the Year

2009-08-02T22:10:00.000-05:00

Biker Dude called me this weekend. That is not an extraordinary thing as we usually chat when he is between women (and he is hoping I will change my mind about a bootay call). This call was a bit different...he asked me to take him shopping for a new suit. Now, Biker Dude is not what I would call a fashion plate. He thankfully recognized he needed some wardrobe direction. I agreed to play his personal shopper if he told me the real reason he wanted a new suit. Its actually kinda sweet: he was contacted by his childhood sweetie and they are going to have a reunion later this month. He wants to knock her socks off.

I dragged the man to Macy's for our first (and thank god!) only stop. He had some strange idea that Macy's = Sear's in clothing quality. Did I mention this man is also a whole lotta OCD and a former Marine???? He had to have a three-piece suit with a vest. He wanted these special tabbed collared shirts. He gave me a budget of $700 and after three grueling hours I had the man looking damn sharp. I found his suit, shoes, shirts, ties, belt, socks all for less than $450. I even sweet talked the helpful salesclerk into giving us about $70 off in various discounts (truth be told, I think she was glad it was me running my ass off and not her and that is why she gave the discounts).

On a couple of occasions I went into the men's fitting room with the man and we closed the door (the mirror could only be viewed with the door closed). It amused me to see the looks of 1)interest 2)amusement 3)surprise on the faces of the people who saw me come out of the fitting room with Biker Dude. I am quite positive they thought a little bootay action was going on in there (hell, he always was fast so I guess that was definitely feasible).

To his credit, he is eternally grateful to me helping him spruce his wardrobe and saving him a bundle. He took me out for dinner and drinks afterward. My eyes glazed over a bit hearing him recite the perfections of his new goddess, but the romantic soul that hides deep within wishes him the fairytale ending we should all get at least once in our life.

I figure I have done my good deed for the year...now its time for my fairytale ending!

The Zen of Sassy & B-man

2009-07-20T23:33:00.004-05:00

So at long last it has happened...I am in love. Yep! You read that correctly. And he is in love with me. Of course, with the entire U.S. between us it is a bit difficult. We have decided to adopt what I call the "Zen of Sassy & B-man". You see, when we met, neither one of us was interested in getting involved because I was visiting Seattle for vacay. We merely wanted to hang out and have a few laughs. That evolved into much more than we anticipated, but while we hung out we never worried about "us" or the future of "us". We just enjoyed our time together with no pressures. We continue with the "lets just enjoy each other's company and not worry about the future" 'tude. So I am just enjoying the feeling of being in love. The cool thing is we have decided to be a couple when we are together, and go our own way when we aren't with the option to change that. I like the freedom of that and so does he. Really, it appears I have found my male counterpart because we are so on the same wave length. B-man treats me like his Sassy Princess and he really likes having a princess of sass in his life. Will it last? Who knows, but I am liking the no-stress approach to our Zen.

Crackberry Whore and Other Facts

2009-07-14T07:14:00.002-05:00

Verizon sent me an offer too good to resist: a brand new Blackberry Storm. I love my new little toy. I am officially a Crackberry whore.

Went to a rave over the weekend...first one ever. It was an upscale event at our new and very expensive art museum. I was (of course I was!) offered some E in the women's bathroom. The weird girl who offered it pulled a baggie of E outta her panties....ewwwww! Even if I did do drugs...ewwwwww. She was skank-o-rama!

Going back to Seattle to see B-man. Definitely a little fire between us. We had hoped it would cool off given we live on opposite coasts, but it hasn't so we are just going to take it day by day. No long-term plans as of yet.

Headed to Philly and Toronto in a few short weeks. Woo hoo! Can't wait. This is the year of Sassy in many many respects. I think I have a new client in Portland, Oregon. This couple I met there...the hubby is a surgeon with his own clinic. They invited me to spend a week on their yacht, but the timing was very short notice and I couldn't get my schedule together that quickly (or find a decent plane ticket) so we rainchecked for next year. That will work out well for B-man and I if I get more clients on the West Coast. It will make the commute more lucrative for me.

Ciao dahlings!

Mission Accomplished???

2009-07-04T11:32:00.003-05:00

I am spending the 4th of July in Florida this year. Not a glamorous reason...a client sent me down here (picked up two new clients down here!). Since the shout out on the dating sites was a relative success for the Pacific Northwest adventure, I did it again for Jacksonville. I had several responses, but settled on a Frenchie. A younger, cute Frenchie. We had our first date last night. He had promised to take me to the beach and as anyone who knows me can attest, boy + beach promise = disaster. Frenchie delivered the beach. At last, I had a cute guy + beach. We wandered under the moon & stars. We watched fireworks, we kissed (and kissed and kissed some more). So perhaps the evil curse put upon me regarding men and beaches is at last broken.

That being said, I think Frenchie and I won't be seeing each other again. He was not happy to not get an invite back to my hotel room. *sigh* oh well, hope to find something fun to do tonight other than my homework.

Happy 4th to everyone!

A Wee Bit Skwimish

2009-06-18T01:50:00.004-05:00

The charming town of Sequim (pronounced Skwim) really was nice and relaxing, but a city girl needs city lights. I got into Seattle late yesterday in time for a date with David, from here on out aka "Creep Boy." Creep boy appeared to be the perfect gentleman, opening my car door, making sure I got in, opening restaurant doors, and just being damn considerate. At a certain point in the evening Creep Boy decided to bring up Ted Bundy. He knew more than the average human knows about everyone's favorite serial killer. A frightening amount...down to what size undies good ole Teddy wore before getting some sizzle in his shizzle. I tried to put this down to nervous talk and overlook just how weird that was to be discussing on a first (and only) blind date. He then took me to the Needle and proceeded to kiss me. Ewwww....bad kisser. I went into lockdown mode, but he was slow on the uptake. I scrubbed real good when I finally made it home...ewwww...still have chills.

The next date took place today. Sean...aka "The Twins" and I have been talking on the phone. We met at the bar in my hotel today. He was as hot in person as on his profile. Charming, witty, sexy. He had a million watt smile and seemed quite taken with me. We finished our drinks and he took me to lunch at a darling place in Alki Beach. As we drove back into downtown, he told me a block away from the hotel, "I am not feeling this" and he dropped me, not in front of the entrance to my hotel, but some random curb near the hotel. I guess I should explain that he had at least 4 drinks while with me and at some point mentioned that perhaps he drank too much--hahahahaha. So my charming sexy date became a sullen dark cloud who didn't have an ounce of decency. Can you say split personality? Alcoholic? Seriously weird? I have no issue with him deciding he wasn't into me (although that appeared pretty strange since he couldn't hide the obvious attraction to me), but dumping me out of his car? After a pleasant afternoon together? Low class and just too damn strange.

But the dating scene isn't totally awful here. I went out with Brian. Brian was not my first pick. In fact, I almost blew Brian off, but he sent some seriously funny emails that showed signs of intelligence. Brian took me for my first ever motorcycle ride. Brian is sweet and thoughtful. I don't find Brian attractive. I find him sweet and silly and smart and snarky. Dammit! If only I could put Brian's personality into The Twin's body...I would have the perfect man! *sigh* Isn't that life though...we want what we can't have and don't appreciate what we do have. But I have made a friend for life in Brian and he is coming out to visit me at some point this year.

So I have a few more dates to go on while here...and they are being approached with much less enthusiasm. I am not looking for the man of my dreams out here...just a nice time with some new friends...the outlook is not good my friends. It may be raining men, but it is a freak parade for the most part. I will say this, the gay men out here LOVE me. My new found friend at Sephora, Enrique, just loves my glam hair and he was putting so many free goodies in my bag tonight you would have thought I hit the Sephora lottery. Happy Sephora Birthday to me!

Speaking of birthdays, if you hear of a Vibrator of the Month club, send the info my way, BOBs are just way less trouble for a busy girl.

You Might Have...

2009-06-11T06:46:00.002-05:00

Too many man in your dating line up if you have to set up a spreadsheet to keep track of them and when you are suppose to see them!

Off the Charts in the Pacific Northwest

2009-06-10T21:42:00.002-05:00

Holy crap! My dating line up for Seattle area is just freakin off the charts! I have hot Sean, I have James the tv producer, I have Bernard the smoldering security guard, I have Brian the snarky dude, I have Jay the exotic younger guy from Hawaii, I have Ray the salsa dancer, I have Joe the writer, and a few more that I can't recall at this very moment.

Not to mention, a high school sweetheart contacted me today...who thinks I look damn fine! Lol...I am just radiating sassiness and sexiness right now!

Its A Twilight Zone Moment When...

2009-06-09T23:37:00.002-05:00

You walk your ex-husband through the dating process...the online dating process that is. Yikes! What was I thinking exactly? I mean he can be a nice guy and he certainly is good looking, but I can only hope he has made some much needed changes...or I will feel bad for aiding & abetting his dating life.

Hard to believe I ever slept with that man I feel so detached from him emotionally.

Men that make me go "Hmmmm"

2009-06-05T16:30:00.003-05:00

So my shout-out for interesting men to meet up with in Seattle has netted a man that is just too fine for words so far. He has my attention (and I have his!). The cherry on this sundae is the fact that Mr. Yummy is on the East Coast 3 days a week...and within driving distance of me to boot. We definitely click on the phone and wow-ee is he nice looking. I think I may have found my cabana boy! Regardless, I think he is going to make one helluva tour guide in Seattle. I may have to cancel all other plans...nah...just kidding, but I may put the others off for when he flies back to Philly.

Just a Social Networking Kinda Girl

2009-06-04T22:16:00.002-05:00

I love the internet. I love social network sites including my dating sites. I have a new found love for Plenty of Fish & OK Cupid. I decided that my impending trip to Seattle lacked something...some hot men to spend time with. So I hopped online and tweaked my profiles to say that I was going to be in Seattle and would like to meet interesting people. The flood gates have opened...and I must say...I like the choices of men in Seattle much better than what I have here at home. So I conceivably have every day and night filled with local men to spend time with me & my friend Sonya.

Ain't life grand? She thinks (bahahahaha) that my "dream" guy may even be one of them. Who knows about that, but I definitely have some hotties!

The Sparkling Life of the Glitter Whore

2009-05-23T20:51:00.004-05:00

It has been a long time. So much going on!

1. Business is booming. I think I will be hiring at least one employee this year. I can barely keep up with demand which is a beautiful place to be!
2. My movie producer client is simply awesome! I get to be an extra in the movie if I want and I can be on the set helping. I think I will be assigned to the set/scene decorating department. I am really psyched about the movie and the doors opening to me from that. Accounting for movie production is very very interesting.
3. The man front is interesting. Casually dating a geeky tech boy who shares my love of Star Wars. Nice guy, funny, super smart ('course he is...he is seeing me!) and he has gotten me some new clients! He lives 45 minutes away...close enough and far enough away to suit us both.
4. Got my big trip to Seattle coming up in a few short weeks. I am definitely excited about that trip!
5. I am three classes from my Masters! Big celebration going on in December...perhaps on a cruise ship!

That about recaps the sparkling wonder called my life right now.

Travelin' Sassy

2009-04-26T14:15:00.001-05:00

This girl is going to make up for no vacation for the past several years in 2009. I am headed to NYC next weekend for a girl's gone wild weekend...shopping, Wicked, shopping, some clubbing...woo hoo!

In June I am going to drive cross country to Seattle with a friend. What an adventure that will be! I can't wait. I will be able to add a few more states to my list of places I have visited...looking forward to cruising through Montana!

Who knows what other places are on tap for me...but I am thinking tropical is going to be a reality and maybe the UK!

The Sweetest Story

2009-04-24T21:06:00.005-05:00

We hung out in high school. We met in Psychology class and bonded. Neither of us fit in with the majority of the kids in our community. We spent a lot of time talking, laughing, just being friends. He was cute and I had a crush on him, but I didn't let on. I saw how he flirted with some of the girls in our group and he treated me differently. We were just buddies. He was two years older than me and he graduated and left town and life went on.

I thought about him three weeks ago and did the very 21st century thing of Facebooking him. I couldn't find him and I went right back to being buried in taxes and accounting and school. I came up for air last Sunday and checked a little used email account that is attached to Classmates. I was informed that someone had "signed my guestbook" and I went to see who it was....It was Jeff! What a coincidence and he had been on my Classmates page the same week I looked for him on FB. So I dropped him a line and told him how great it was to see him on Classmates and I would love to hear from him. I gave him my email address and figured one day he would contact me. Yep, in ONE day he did. So a volley of emails revealed we live about 15 minutes from each other and that yes, he was interested in meeting for a drink.

He called me the next day and we played a quick game of catch up. Him: divorced twice, two kids, writer, musician, handyman to support the first two habits, taught in Kenya for a year, still smart, funny, snarky. Me: divorced once, run own business, and yes--single. He wanted to meet up that night, but I had plans already. We decided we would meet the next day, but I would call when I was done and perhaps we would meet up afterall.

I was out with a couple of friends that evening and was relaying the story. My friend Shay declared that he must have been crushing on me back in high school that he answered so quickly. I pffft'd that idea. As I was telling her about him now, she stopped me and asked me his last name. I told her and she declared, "O M G! I know him!" She informed me he was still sweet, funny, one of the nicest guys every. She and Sid also said I needed to not be quick to meet up with him cause he was very interested in me and I needed to make him wait. Again, I was like pfffft.

We end up at my favorite place--Metro! and I text Jeff to let him know I wouldn't be able to meet with him because I was still out with my friends and we were having a drink. He hinted he wanted to join and after consulting the Date Advisory Board I was with, I issued the green light (Shay was giggling at the thought of him seeing both of us together). He didn't respond to text/invite, so 10 minutes later I text again and ask if he is coming...his response was "I am there." He walked in the door and made a beeline to me. A few minutes before he got there, the Date Advisory Board once again declared he had been crushing on me in high school and even if he hadn't (doubtful they declared) he would definitely be crushing on me before he left the bar that night. Shay decided we needed a bet was on that very subject.

After Jeff and I hugged, he sat down and almost immediately told me he had a crush on me in high school. He asked, "didn't you ever wonder why I was always hanging around your work?" I shrugged and pointed out that we were buddies. I laughed and told him that I had a crush on him too. He told me he had found me so fascinating in school, but that I had been a very young (and naive) 16 year old. Since he was 18, he said he just couldn't decide what to do about me and then he went off to college and the situation took care of itself. We had a drink, caught up some more and Shay sat to my right smirking and sending me text messages about how she and Sid won the bet on both counts. One funny thing that came out of true confession time: he had given me a party invitation with a hand drawn map to his house. I was telling him I still had the invite. He told me, "yeah, um, Sassy, about that party...no one showed up...you were the only one invited."

We finally called it and Sid & Shay left us alone a few minutes while they got the car. Jeff turned around as we walked out and said, "You know, I always thought your eyes were brown. I have carried the image of you with brown hair, brown eyes and very red lipstick. I see I was mistaken about your eyes...they are green." I explained to him that my eyes change colors and that they are brown on occasion, and green...and blue. He walked me to the car and we agreed we would see each other the following day.

I was home, ensconced on my couch a half hour later when Jeff text me to ask what I was up to. We text a couple of times and then he called me. We were on the phone for about an hour when he asked if he could come over to finish our discussion in person. I looked at the time and decided by the time he got there it was going to be way too late for me. Then he informed that he was in my parking lot and he would go home if that is what I wanted. I let him come up.

We talked for a long time and then he looked me in the eyes and asked if we could "make out." I fell out in laughter and asked if he was trying to relive our teen moments. He said he was there to be with the woman, not the girl. We had been kissing for a while, when he pulled back and looked into my eyes and declared, "I can't believe this, but your eyes are blue...what does that mean?" I smirked and said that it meant I was very very happy. He decided he really liked the fact that I have "mood ring" eyes and that he can tell what I am feeling by the color of them. He also told me that he was even more fascinated with the woman I had become and that I was very very sexy. He could barely keep his hands or lips off me so I think he meant it ;-)

Mr. Jeff has text and called since that night. We postponed our date the following day because I had the big meeting with the movie producer to concentrate on and I only got a couple hours sleep because of him. We have a date on Saturday night to watch a movie with his kids.

Isn't that just like ooey gooey sweet? It has left me with a goofy smile and bounce in my step. It is just delightful to reconnect with him and find out the crush was mutual all those years ago!

Sassy Goes to Hollywood?

2009-04-22T21:32:00.002-05:00

I met with my new client tonight...a movie producer from L.A. who will be making a film in my area. We clicked instantly and we both agreed we had to work together. I am very excited about this project and the potential for future projects is tantalizing to me. It was an interesting evening for me and I confess I have stars in my eyes right now. I liked being wined and dined and it is awesome that one of my other clients thought so highly of me that she said I was definitely a great candidate for being the accountant on the project. I passed with flying colors and now I am floating on a little cloud of delight!

How Many Sassys Does It Take....

2009-04-03T20:44:00.003-05:00

I was bored one day a month ago and ordered a Rabbit from Amazon. I was excited when it came. I put new batteries in it and ....nothing happened when I turned it on. I tried to get it to work without success. I emailed the seller and they promptly shipped a new one out. I put new batteries in it and ...nothing happened. I gave up and decided the two blue Rabbits would make a lovely couple in my bedside table. I ordered a purple swirly dildo last week. It came, I put new batteries in it, turned it on...and nothing. I was like...WTF??? I mean how hard is it to put batteries in these damn things and get them to work. So I contacted Amazon (different seller thank god!) and they promptly shipped out a new one. I got it, put new batteries in it and NOTHING. I thought what are the odds that a girl can get 4 dildos in one month and none of them work. So I was trying to figure out what I could be doing wrong: insert batteries correctly, turn on. Well the battery holder fell out and...lo & behold...batteries need to be put in on both sides of the holder. I go fish out my blue Rabbits and sure enough...same situation. Duh! Talk about a blonde moment.

I was telling the story to a good friend over some wine tonight and apparently the bartender was reading my lips. As I handed over my credit card to pay for my drink he said, "Gotta rush off to put some batteries in, eh?" Tee hee...I am a good sport and I give as good as I get so my snarky comeback, "I have an extra dildo if you ever need to borrow one..." The man was laughing so hard he could barely ring us up. Good times. Always happy to share my embarrassing life moments. Wait til you hear about the other thing that happened to me this week...I will save that for another post!

This is Your Fairy Godmother Calling

2009-03-24T13:47:00.002-05:00

I woke up to an interesting text message on my phone this morning. It is from a local, unknown number and it reads:

"Hi! This is your angel encourager reminding you, you are beautiful and you have what it takes. Step out in love, it will be ok!!!"

I was also sent an email on MySpace page from a local woman who wanted to know if I was in need of the services of younger men as she has a few male friends she could introduce me to. I had to laugh when I read that. I responded that I appreciated her thoughtfulness, but I can manage my own younger man hunt if that is what I desire. Talk about pimpin your profile!

All kinds of strangers are thinking of me and my heart's (or at least my coochie's) welfare. I feel the love.

Spread'Em

2009-03-23T19:46:00.003-05:00

On Friday I got the brilliant notion to get a Brazilian. Not a Brazilian man mind you, but a wax job that includes places that have never seen the sun. I have several day spas for clients so getting manis, pedis, facials, and massages have become part of my weekly routine and I decided..."why not get a Brazilian this week?" Why not indeed! It has been 5 years since I got a modified Brazilian. I don't recall it hurting quite so much. Of course, slathering boiling hot wax on delicate body parts to rip hair out...that screams out pain. I was suppose to have a hot date Saturday night, but that had to be delayed for not-so-obvious reasons (to him).

I thought going to a gyn/ob was embarrassing, but that was topped by the nurse who had to completely shave my nether regions prior to my hysterectomy. I hit a new blush zone with the Brazilian. You are using Kama Sutra positions for your aesthetician and the piece de resistance was when I had to roll over on my tummy and "spread'em". Yeah that was delightful. Not sure I will be repeating this procedure, but I do like the look and feel.

Is It April Yet?

2009-03-16T21:40:00.003-05:00

*whew* I am a busy girl....business is booming and I am very very happy about that. Not a lot of time to write + even less time for men = not much to blog about. Have had a few adventures sprinkled along the way....finally met Denver. Hawt and well, I will save that for another time shall I?

Just a shout out to whatever few people read my silly blog still! Muah!

"My power enchanted you & you were helpless...."

2009-02-23T07:58:00.000-05:00

People constantly amaze me, but especially people in the dating sphere. Manners seem to just go by the wayside any more.

Or maybe it is not manners, but respect? It is so disappointing to realize that a guy just isn't into you and that rather than being all excited about seeing you like you are about seeing him, he can't remember to tell you he has to cancel the date.

I didn't get stood up, but just barely. I happened to text and ask what he wanted for dinner. The response I got left much to be desired. Something along the lines of "oh, uh, yeah, guess I forgot to tell you I had a change in plans." Hmmmm, since the original plans involved me, I deducted that I just was not a priority here. I mean he FORGOT to let me know????? So apparently the chemistry I (we) felt, the fact he had a hard time tearing away from me on our first date dissipated overnight. No phone call to apologize either.

To quote from the movie Willow, "Went away? "I dwell in darkness without you" and it *went away*?"

Love or Delirium? Fantasy or Possiblity?

2009-02-07T22:05:00.000-05:00

I have been thinking about love lately--a whole lot. Maybe it is delirium from lack of sleep from burning the midnight oil for both work and school or maybe it is time to fall in love again.

It has been a long time since I felt love. Desire and lust--yes!!! Absolutely. The I cant'-wait-to get-my-panties-off giddiness that comes with overwhelming attraction I have definitely been in tune with. But love? Not just me being in love, but having someone in love with me. Those intense looks into each other's eyes, the never ending passionate kisses, the finger sliding gently down my cheek, across my lips, my tongue flicking out to touch, the warm strong body to cuddle against at night. Yes, I miss the "I love yous." It has been close to 8 years since I heard an "I love you." I don't recall when I last said that to a man.

I want toe curling, mind-blowing sex and love all rolled into one. I want to find HIM this year. I am definitely ready. Wish me luck!

Tipped Off

2009-01-31T23:49:00.002-05:00

I went on a date tonight. The guy was okay. I think he has Asperger's. That seems to be the syndrome du jour these days. The date was a little bland, but I have had worse. We went to Outback. I was curious as to what sort of tip he was going to leave as I think that is a reasonable predictator of a guy. The service was good and our food came as ordered. He left a $5.00 tip. I was embarrassed. We sat at the table for a while after finishing. I slipped a $10 bill under my coffee cup when my date wasn't looking. I didn't want to embarrass him, but I certainly couldn't leave without giving our cute waiter something additional. I won't be going back out with this guy for numerous reasons, but that is at the top of the list. On the plus side, three cute guys who worked there flirted with me every chance they got.

I ended my evening on a "high" note...I watched the horrible and poorly-acted movie Survival Island. It is not even worth searching on Amazon to read about. Smug warned me it was bad, but I had to torture myself to be sure. Billy Zane is in it and well, he is a hawt bad boy, but even he couldn't redeem the movie. Poor guy is going bald and he has these two strange weirdly-placed tufts of hair on the top of his head. I just wanted to grab a razor and shave him completely.

Strapping on the Dildo

2009-01-21T22:43:00.002-05:00

As a woman, I occasionally have to strap on an invisible dildo to be taken seriously in man-run businesses. Case in point with a client I fired late last year. They drove me crazy, but I tolerated the behavior. The owner pushed my button one day and I fired him. I had enough of the not-so-veiled implications that a man could do the accounting better than I could. "Great, get the guy to finish the project because I am done." Well, client emailed begging me to come back. My response was to raise my rate and state that at the first sign of disrespect I was outta there for good this time. When I go to this client, I mentally strap on a dildo. I know that sounds crazy, but hell it is working! The client actually thanked me for helping out today. I state without hesitation what I want, when I want it and I get it. The men that run the business are definitely more respectful towards me.

I had a date....

2009-01-14T23:43:00.002-05:00

Yep...Wrestler Dude took me out to dinner. We had a great time! Wrestler Dude is smart, funny, sweet, charming and a gentleman through and through. It was one of the better dates I have had in, well lets face it, forever! Wrestler Dude is quite smitten with SassyAssy....and I am liking his style...time will tell as my friend Brent says.

"Wrasslin" With My Heart

2009-01-10T15:45:00.003-05:00

Internet dating is an interesting concept. You get to meet a wider pool of people than if you confine yourself to the local pub/library/bookstore. You also meet a wider variety of people from all walks of life.

This fall I met a C-List actor. We haven't worked out the logistics of meeting yet since he is currently in California making his appearances in a variety of movies, tv series and even some commercials (and yes, I have checked him out thoroughly and he is the real deal).

This week I met a famous wrestler (who shall remain nameless at this point). Wrestler Dude is smitten with my funky hair and that is what prompted him to contact me. I chatted for a bit, but then I tried to kibosh him by stating emphatically that I was not a "wrasslin" fan and I was quite sure that he had plenty of women throwing both themselves and their panties at him and I would not be one of them. He thinks I give good snark and grew even more smitten.

This morning he called me because he was thinking of me and he has bought me a gift for me while I was on the phone with him. He saw something with purple dragonflies and he thought of me. He said some VIP passes are mine for the asking. I just have to pretend I like "wrasslin" when I am with him and fans approach. That is all he asks of me besides my charming company. I am bemused that this gentleman (and he is indeed one) is so interested in me. Perhaps it brings it out the protective streak in him...he is 6'5". He is originally from NYC and on the surface we have much in common (wrestling aside that is).

I have also befriended some published authors at the tail end of 2008. I am orbiting with some stars right now...very interesting start to my 2009!

Welcome 2009!

2009-01-07T22:43:00.001-05:00

At last 2009 is here and I am more than a little excited! My 2009 started in December and it keeps getting better! I celebrated by getting a new tattoo! Hope everyone is having a great new year!!!!

My Vamp Look

2008-12-29T20:16:00.003-05:00

My date liked the outfit. I tried to do a full body shot in the mirror, but it just wouldn't work!

Magical Power of the Pussy

2008-12-27T18:47:00.002-05:00

If there is a freak or weirdo in the crowd, I will find him or her. Make no mistake about it...I can provide more than a handful of friends who have seen that dubious mystique in action. Really, I do wish that they would come with a symbol stamped on their forehead as a warning.

Take last night's date for instance. I should have known a 25 year old was trouble, but I thought I would revisit the issue once again. He seemed mature and down with just a date. No messy relationship crap. One thing led to another and a tumble in the sheets happened. It was (I am happy to report) much better than the last encounter I had with a 25 year old. Then as we are (okay, just me, cause I am a wee bit older than him) resting, he starts in on how much he is in serious like of me and wants to spend the entire weekend with me. Bleh! I was ready for him to move it along out of my apartment. But nooooo...we had to discuss icky feeling things. I mean I have no issue discussing those things with someone who matters, but I signed up for the pleasure plan with this guy up front. He changed the rules. Started talking about (ewww) moving in with me, maybe us marrying, would I want to adopt. It was just more than I could handle. It took me about an hour to hussle him to the front door. The only thing I can figure is that ms. pussy has some magic fairy dust malfunction and she is only spewing it with the wrong guys.

So I have a new stalker to add to the cop who still (months later) hasn't got a clue. I am certain as I type this that 25 is hanging out in my parking lot waiting to follow me to the date I was suppose to have tonight.

The postponed date may be another disaster in the making. He is 24 years old and incredibly hot looking. He is looking for a "classy older dominating" woman. He wants someone who will humiliate him by making him do such things like crawl across the floor and lick and kiss her feet. I have no intentions of going there with him, but he might be a valuable source of information for a story I am working on. But...he is hot looking...I put him off until tomorrow when I am (hopefully) thinking a bit clearer with more than 4 hours sleep under my belt. My good friend David thinks I should slap an apron on him and have him alternate between cleaning my apartment and pleasuring ms. pussy orally. Hmmmmm

You Get What You Pay For

2008-12-24T07:54:00.001-05:00

I am listening to the radio this morning and a 19 year old girl called in to the local radio celebs with a problem. She has been with her fiance for 4 years. She wants to propose to her fiance that they have a free pass to see others for a while. She loves her fiance, but has never been with another man. She called to ask their advice on her suggestion.

I am wondering what their qualifications are to help her with her dilemma. Does she also take medical advice from street people???? The radio celebs on any given day sound like they have trouble finding their own front door and these are the people she turns to for advice. Scary!

Hope all of you are doing better than this poor girl!

Happy Holidays!

Rainbow Voodoo

2008-12-22T23:08:00.003-05:00

I am not sure what I did that flagged Facebook, but today I started getting targeted with lesbian ads. It is kinda amusing, but I have to wonder what tripped the trigger. I did post a new quote yesterday:

Be yourself--everyone else is already taken - Oscar Wilde

Maybe that is the new motto of the modern lesbian woman?

I embrace my lesbian friends and clients. Live and let live is my motto.

The Power of the Cleavage

2008-12-21T01:04:00.004-05:00

A friend and I went to dinner tonight. We got all dressed up and sparkly because we thought we might go dancing after dinner. We decided to go to a Greek restaurant that just reopened after a huge remodel and it is popular. We didn't make reservations because we have never needed them in the past.

I got to the restaurant before she did. The maitre d informed me that I wouldn't get a table for another 45 minutes or so without a reservation....that is until I took my coat off and he couldn't take his eyes off the impressive cleavage. He mumbled something about finding a table for me and appeared 5 minutes later to escort me to a table. He kept stopping by to make sure we were happy.

I take the "girls" for granted most times, but every once in a while I have to pull out the "big guns" to get things moving along. Yes, I am shameless, but they need to earn their keep.

Pretty Me Up

2008-12-20T15:07:00.002-05:00

I took a day for myself to pamper and primp. I bought some vitamins (very important!) to boost my immune system. I bought some skin care items, I got some luxury bath items and I got a red and silver sparkly mani/pedi. I am going to dinner with a friend then maybe some dancing. Fun stuff!! With tax season rapidly approaching, I don't know when I will get the chance again.

Happy Holidays!

Love to Love Ya Baby

2008-12-17T22:18:00.004-05:00

Such an interesting week where men are concerned.

Met Florida-boy yesterday online. I chatted with him briefly this morning. He flipped his webcam on and he was quite hawt looking. So we chatted on the phone tonight which led to some ummmm extracurricular phone chat...well during the sex talk something quite unusual happened...he kept telling me he loved me and wanted me to say the same thing to him because "it gets him off." It was kinda freaky folks. Hell, I haven't had a man tell me he loves me since sometime during the marital-hades years. It was more than a little disconcerting to hear it from a guy I haven't even really met yet. It was disturbing when he kept asking me to say it like I mean it. Really? You have got to be kidding me...its all I can do to pretend to care if he cums or not. Damn me for getting bored tonight! I gotta get a better hobby.

*****

Better news is that Snarky is planning on visiting me in early January. He says he can't wait too much longer to be with me. Mmmmmmmmm. He sent me a fab picture tonight on my cell phone....gawd he makes me hot n cold and melty all over. I am in serious lust with him and that is more than mutual for him. I love that I distract him so much that he can barely write. I do want him to meet his deadline because that might mean more time with me in January. Did I menton he makes me breathless when we talk on the phone or that he is incredible looking or that he is super smart? I love the fact that he is a published author (and a fabulous writer at that!)....chills n shivers. A bonus is that he said if I wanted help getting published he would do what he could....to use him and his connections in the writing world shamelessly.

Glowing

2008-12-17T00:21:00.003-05:00

Mmmmmmmm! Had another 4-star date with a guy I went out with back in October.

He is laid-back, funny and he loves to read. I have been attracting men who love to read....there really is nothing sexier to me (okay there is, but that is just awesome). Tonight Greg and I hung out and watched I Am Legend which gave me my Will Smith fix for the day and gave Greg the opportunity to conduct his cynical commentary.

Then he kissed me and man o man can Greg kiss. He loves to kiss, I love to kiss...we made out for who knows how long like a bunch of teenagers. He said not only was I a fantastic kisser, but the impressive cleavage pushed him over the edge. Greg likes real woman curves...they turn him on. I like Greg, he turns me on.

*Cheers* Here is to a beautiful end to a beautiful day....did I mention work is pouring in? So many things to celebrate, gotta love it!

Desire

2008-12-14T19:43:00.003-05:00

It has been a long time since I have seen a man's eyes darken with desire and the kisses that are the first and last kisses rolled together in a passionate thrust and parry. Let's not forget the hands drifting softly over the lower back where the waistband dips down and then the hands pull you even closer. Or leaning against a wall with only him to hold you up as you kiss, grope, and undo buttons and zippers. The trail of clothes leading to the bed. The sighs the whispers the moans...oh my!

But I miss the darkening eyes of desire, that drunk-on-you look that intoxicates and makes every inch of me turn to a hot flushed pleasure seeking nymph.

I missed all of that until today that is.....and when I saw his eyes turn an even darker deeper sapphire blue it made me melt. His kisses were simply amazing. He also had the most incredible body of any man I have ever been with. When he pushed me gently into the wall to kiss me a fire roared to life inside me. When I looked into his eyes and they just kept deepening in color it took my breath away.

We went to school together. We have been FB friends for a while. We started a little cyber flirting this week and wheeeeeee! Off we go! All I can say is I am all aglow and my lips have that lovely bee stung look of a girl that has been kissed within an inch of her life.

The Asshole Awards

2008-12-12T22:12:00.002-05:00

So many contenders, so little sassy patience.

The latest asshole in a long line of many contacted me tonight. We have chatted before months ago, but I never pursued it because he appeared to be passive-aggressive and I just wasn't interested. He didn't seem real interested either. He is a local guy and he is in massage school.

He sent me an IM tonight in response to my status message which said something about needing a massage after spending the day with a client from hell. He said, "I have offered to massage you, so what is your problem?" (My problem, asshole, is that I have never accepted your offer). I didn't reply because I just wasn't in the mood. His next IM message said, "I have a portable table, oils, etc. What more do I need to do?" (How about leave me the fuck alone). His final message said, "Clearly you have no respect for others. Hope you get that massage you need." (I will, from someone who has massaged for more years than you have been alive asshole).

I have two problems with this asshole: his passive-aggressive attitude and the fact that he accused me of not respecting him. For all he knew, I was asleep already or not at my computer. He doesn't know for sure that I was ignoring him; although, given the fact he must know he is an asshole, that is a fair assumption for him to make I guess.

Seriously, are there any decent men left? I don't want anymore Asperger's guys glomming on me (OKC is just rife with them), I am tired of old men who are lonely, I am more than ill with the disrespectful jerks who can't bother to show up for dates they arrange, the married men who are just looking for bootay, the youngsters looking for a sexual goddess to train them in the fine arts of the bedroom, the list goes on.

I am handing out Asshole Awards like they are M&Ms at Halloween.

Surrender Sassy

2008-12-10T23:53:00.004-05:00

I give up! I truly surrender to the Great Oz who mind-fucks with me about dates. I was stood up (YES! again!) by two men today. Both of whom begged me to meet them....I just cannot fathom it.

I am all too happy to leave 2008 behind--it truly has been a crap shoot year. The Year of Being Stood Up. The irony of it all is that I have never stood up a single guy. I am about done...or past done. We shall see if Snarky manages to show up for our unplanned planned tete a tete. Hell, I am beginning to believe I have a better chance of having a million dollars fall out of the sky and land in my lap...and truth be told, I wouldn't mind that either.

Tis the Season to Discuss Porn at a Party

2008-12-09T23:53:00.005-05:00

Tonight I was invited to a party with some select friends. I was the first one to the restaurant and I went to the bar area because the plans were sketchy for which section we were going to hang out in. I called and texted everyone to find out where the hell they were cause some old men in the bar were starting to slide their stools my way...ewwwww!

Everyone that could make it arrived late of course. I finally grabbed a waiter I know and had him seat me in the dining room. The waiter really likes me and he decided my cosmos should be considered a high ball so I could get them 1/2 off. He also gave me a nice shoulder massage. What can I say? I am a popular girl!

Our party of 8 shrunk to a party of 3 with illness and mias. Steph, Brian and I kicked back and enjoyed our smaller party. Eventually, our conversation turned to porn. Steph and I compared notes since we both like to watch porn. Brian (wisely as usual) sat back and laughed at us girls. We did not realize, however, that the waiters had been listening in to our conversation. All of the sudden they were glommed around our table asking if they could join in. I guess our point by point discussion of the videos on Adam and Eve versus Skinamax stirred a few swizzle sticks around us.

We were the popular table. In fact, when we moved from the dining room into the bar area, the wait staff followed us. We got a lot of attention and free drinks. Dammit! As I write this I realized I should have given my masseuse/waiter some extra tip. I mean he got 50%, but I really should have given more. I will have to make up for it next time I go in.

Steph and I swapped peeks at the dirty pics that our male friends and acquaintances send to our phones. We did quite a bit of drooling and poor Brian was feeling left out. I sent him a nice cleavage shot to warm him up a bit. He was most grateful!

A fun evening was had by all and Steph sent us home with some delightful goody baskets. I will be breaking into that bad boy in the morning for breakfast. Still waiting on Brian's promised goody *sigh*. He makes his own beer and we are one of the fortunate few that get to snag his spicy seasonal brew...yummers!

Tingle Bells

2008-12-08T22:44:00.004-05:00

I love when I meet a man and I connect on multi-levels with him. It always seems to me that the men I connect the most belong to someone else. Point in case, this delicious man I met during late summer. He is snarky, intelligent, and I find him incredibly good looking. He feels the same way about me. We engage in entertaining repartee and we can talk about anything. We have a nice friendship. When we met, he was living in my city, but he temporarily relocated to mid-west. He hopes to be back in early 09. He also has a girlfriend here.

I went looking for him this week because I had a favor to ask him and I realized I had not chatted with him in a long while. He responded to my email with the news of the temporary move back to his hometown and we started chatting regular again. We have had several true confession moments: he told me he has been mega attracted to me from the get-go and I feel the same. We have such a spine-tingling chemistry....we have decided to see each other when he comes back to town at least one date just to see if all this tingle is in person or merely a virtual lust.

I know, I know he has a girlfriend and I struggle with that, but on paper this guy seems like the guy I have been searching for. It may lead to yet another dead end in the dating game, but it is a chance I have to take!

Single Act of Irony

2008-12-04T19:48:00.004-05:00

I had time to think this afternoon in the heavy traffic around the mall area (such a dangerous activity for me). It struck me that when I was married, most of my friends were couples with no kids or they were singles. Now that I am single, most of my friends are marrieds or couples of sorts (deja vu of my first go round in the single world).

It really makes no difference, except in social settings. A couple of my close friends are married and they usually include me in social gatherings. I have noticed that some married women feel strange around single women in the group (and boy does it show). I usually end up hearing about the home front fires and I have nothing to contribute because my life does not involve children or significant others. I am consequently left out of conversations and my mind wanders far far away. The ranks effectively shut me out, without that direct intention I am sure.

Additionally, without a significant other on my arm to squire me about, social gatherings this time of year become awkward...invite Sassy or no? Does she have a plus-one she can bring? I really don't have time at the moment to do more than a hit-or-miss date on rare occasion so I have no one in particular I can rely on to be an escort to these functions....unless I want to end the evening with a bootay call.

As for my single friends, none of them live close by me. I cannot even go out for drinks and commiserate with them on the irony that life dishes out for this single woman. I just promise my single friends this: when I hit the big time or the lotto, we are going on a cruise at holiday time compliments of me....you buy the first round of mojitos though!

Affairs of the Facebook

2008-11-28T08:57:00.005-05:00

I am a self-proclaimed Facebook addict. I use it primarily for business. I have made a lot of connections in the community I wouldn't have normally and have gotten clients from my presence on FB. I also chat and play games with my friends on there.

The one thing I have notice on FB is that men--married men at that--from other countries are trolling FB for their next fling when they are in the states. I have had no less than four men recently approach me about getting together when they are in the states for seminar or business trip. I guess FB is the pimp mobile for the business man on the prowl.

I guess it is possible to make a romantic connection on Facebook, but I won't be holding my breath. Speaking of romantic connections....I am handing out the Asshole of the Year award to a man I met on Craigslist. On the surface he seemed to be a nice prospect:

There must be an attractive, classy, lady who is....way past the local college(frat-boy) bar scene, and seeking a tall, handsome, fit, educated, professional, mature man, non-drug user, non-smoker, with no baggage. You might be a grad-student, or even a professor. Or maybe you're a professional with one of the local area companies. You love to keep fit by being active, exercising, like travel, water, sporting events, and quiet, peaceful times at home. You have good taste, high expectations, and you're not willing to settle. Neither am I.

I should have known better to answer an ad with bad comma placement.

He turned out to be an asshole looking for anorexic arm candy. I am curvy arm candy. Apparently, he is more concerned with looks than the entire package as he indicates in his ad. We all have our own tastes of what we find attractive in the opposite sex. I don't have an issue with that. Some men like super skinny, other men like curves. I just wish men like "Fred" here would be more open about it rather than slip it into the fifth email exchange so I don't waste my time. I have real women curves and apparently that is scary for Fred, but he should have stated that up front. Fred also is far more concerned with what he will get out of the relationship. Fred thinks he is the only who should be considered in the relationship. I say this based on our email exchange. Fred is living la loca in my opinion. He has high expectations for the woman he wants and none for himself. I haven't seen a picture of him (he doesn't share until he decides the candidate meets all his requirements--what if he doesn't meet their physical requirements???), but I am willing to bet he is no Brad Pitt {insert your favorite famous hottie} and the conversations with him in a face to face probably go something like this: me, me, me, me, me, me, oh yes a very little you, ME, ME ME!

I would rewrite his ad to read:

There must be an anorexic, gorgeous, lady who is....way past the local college(frat-boy) bar scene, and seeking a narcissistic, arrogant asshole who won't spend much time being concerned about what you are getting out of the relationship. You might be a grad-student, or even a professor. Or maybe you're a professional with one of the local area companies. You love to keep fit by being active, exercising, like travel, water, sporting events, and quiet, peaceful times at home. You have good taste, high expectations, and you're not willing to settle. Neither am I...I will require you to have regular weigh-ins and should you gain more than 5lbs that is grounds for breakup. I will monitor your food intake and request that you eat only rabbit food and drink only water. You will be required to work out 7 days a week whether I do or not because it is far more important for you to look good on my arm.

Happy Sassy Thanksgiving!

2008-11-26T16:59:00.003-05:00

It is hard to believe that 2008 is almost over with. Last Thanksgiving is still fresh in my mind and here we are at a new one. This year I am doing the Drumstick Dash for charity and joining a singles soiree Thanksgiving lunch and going to my bff for Thanksgiving dinner. I will need that 4 mile walk in the morning to offset those calories!

What a year it has been too! Got divorced, got engaged, got un-engaged, almost moved abroad, stayed put, almost moved again (locally), stayed put again, took a huge leap of faith and started working my own business full-time, started my Masters program. Hell, that is enough to make anyone's head spin. I will be happy to put 2008 to rest. It has been a trying year woven with some pleasant memories.

I am grateful for:

My family--especially my cousin Jenn. She has been a rock for me and I love that we have gotten even closer.

My friends who have shown me incredible kindness, who have kissed my boo-boos, who have made me smile and laugh, and who have just simply loved me.

My clients who have become loyal supporters of my business and send new clients my way.

My creativity, ingenuity, and sense of humor to find my way in the twisty road of my life.

My nieces who love their Auntie Sassy beyond reason and who let me spoil them rotten.

My lappy--my portal to a world that thrills me.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Hope it is utterly positively incredibly fabulous--whether you are dining on lobster or turkey, with family and friends or by yourself, in health or sickness.

Outta Left Field the Street Man Cometh

2008-11-21T10:28:00.000-05:00

I met up with my dear friend Blue this evening for an evening of coffee, cheesecake, conversation, and much hilarity. I had warned him that the place we were meeting...well it typically is a like some strange Bermuda Triangle where street men follow me like my own private freak parade. I don't think he believed me. I didn't even believe me after I hoofed the three blocks from my car to the diner and not one person bothered me.

As we walked out of the diner at around 10:30 tonight, an inebriated man of the street veered toward me, copped a feel of my left breast and staggered off down the street proclaiming "Watch out for her!"

I don't know what all that meant and being felt up by a strange man was not how I really wanted to end my evening. I guess I had loftier visions of Blue and I walking to the car without my magnetic personality flipping on the switch and bringing my strange fan club running and in a departure of prior times...copping a feel.

I really need to program that damn switch better. *Note to self--attract only stable men with jobs and a real home."

Good Vibrations Made Better?

2008-11-16T23:29:00.001-05:00

A male friend and I were discussing vibrators the other day and he mentioned he had found the perfect Christmas gift for me. He said I really needed the Sybian to round out my collection. He sent me on a veritable treasure hunt for information. I started at the Sybian Website and cruised through Wikipedia and YouTube to complete my information gathering.

Frankly, the Sybian website made the device look more like a medieval torture device. The Wikipedia page made it look slightly more user friendly. The YouTube videos featured some demos by Carmen Electra. I included the link so you guys don't have to go searching. Howard Stern has one that he likes to entice his female guests to ride.

What caught my eye and piqued my interest, was the male companion, the Venus 2000. Apparently, men aren't as willing to demo that on YouTube. I really cannot imagine a man paying approximately $900.00 for the machine. It doesn't even rate a Wikipedia entry. I wonder why Howard doesn't have one for his male guests????

Give me my hand held vibrator over the Sybian any time. I can discreetly pack it in a suitcase or store it in my toy drawer. I think if I had the Sybian, it would merely collect dust or become the resting place for my many clothes. I would blush at the thought of mounting it and no amount of promised through-the-roof orgasms are an enticement for me to rush out to buy it. I sure as hell hope my friend was kidding about buying it as a Christmas gift. I would rather he spent the money on something useful...a Vicky's Secret card in the same amount perhaps. Tee hee hee. Actually, he was brainstorming with me for journal ideas and his wife had mentioned the Sybian to him recently so it was fresh on his mind.

Roomy or Roomie

2008-11-14T21:29:00.000-05:00

It appears that a unique opportunity has come my way. A gentleman is looking for a housesitter for his corporate apartment in my area. He is never here on weekends, maybe here two days a week during the week. The apartment is roomy..two bedrooms, two baths, the usual living room, kitchen, laundry area. The apartment complex is one of the "luxury" ones in the area. I am the only person he has met with that he considers a good fit for this. In exchange for no rent, run of the apartment, I would do his laundry (which is funny cause I never did the ex-hubs), I would do errands for him when he is in town like go to dry cleaners or grocery store. He also requested that I have no visitors to the apartment when he is in town, but when he is not there he could care less.

The man is a professional. I have verified his credentials and he is who he says. I didn't get creeped out by him and he never once said anything inappropriate or stared at my chest. He is married and has a child. He made it plain that it is strictly a roomie situation and that he is not looking for fringe benefits aka sex. He has also stated that his wife will be fine with a female roomie. He travels extensively for his company and has a couple of apartments in the areas he visits frequently.

Half of my friends are encouraging me to do this and it is my inclination. The other half of my friends have the attitude that if something is too good to be true, it probably is and they think I should run run run away.

So, what do you think? Any issues I should ask about? Anything I might be overlooking?

Picnik Time Again

2008-11-11T11:47:00.002-05:00

I spent a long and tiring weekend working at a women's expo. We had one of the busiest booths and we had no time for breaks. It was time well spent with both my friend and I getting some new clients. I tweaked this picture using Picnik. I wanted to emphasize the purples and pinks in my hair and played around until I achieved the effects I wanted.

Man front: I have had several lovely dates recently. Looks like most of them will turn into second dates.

The Good Times?

2008-11-03T21:12:00.002-05:00

I have been rereading my blog from inception the past couple of days. Life has settled down in many respects. I am not doing the frantic dating merry-go-round. I have some core men I spend time with and am developing friendships with. I like that approach much better than the aimless dating game. Who knows? Maybe one of them will turn into a prince who sticks around (and whom I want to stick around).

It has been a tough year for me on a couple of different fronts. I am at a crossroads of change and I am waiting for the signs to point me in the direction I should go in. One of the changes I am considering is moving to NC. I have always been drawn to NC, but I won't be moving to the area I like the best if I go this route. The move would require some changes and sacrifices I am not sure I am prepared to make, but I would be much closer to my nieces (living with them in fact).

I have a unique opportunity to housesit a beautiful place for someone who is rarely home. That is more appealing and requires only a move down the street. I have to give that consideration because we will be housemates from time to time.

I have some other things I have been thinking about changing, but there is no clear cut answer on what I should do. I sometimes wish life came with a better road map with better picture of what our choices will lead us to. *sigh* I guess that is asking too much, eh? I really shouldn't even think about making life changing decisions right now because tomorrow is the "anniversary" of mom's death and I am always way emotional this time of year. Even though I feel that time has healed the wounds of watching my mother wither away from cancer, even though I don't spend the month of October and part of November in ready tears, it is still a far more emotional time in my year than any other. I don't seem to bounce back as easily from disappointments. I seem to be more easily hurt. I find myself not wanting to be around people so much.

I know I can't wait for 2009. I am ready for a new year with new hopes and aspirations. I am ready for 2008 and all its extreme ups and downs to be gone. I am ready for some calm after the storm. I am ready for new clients, new directions, new dreams. I embrace what has made me strong this year, but I am ready to move past needing to be so strong for so long on my own.

SPAM Makes Me Barf

2008-11-02T09:02:00.004-05:00

Nothing gives me warm fuzzies like an email from a date spammer. I love how they are all "men of god" looking for a "godly" woman. Yeah, that's me all right.

One flew in under the radar recently though because of his impeccable grammar and English. Apparently, Ramseur, NC is the town du jour for spam daters to be from these days--at least on the OKC ranch. Spams the Man. This guy appears normal then launches into the song n dance about having a kid, no wife, civil engineer in Nigeria, but originally from NC. The picture was obviously lifted off some poor schmo. I imagine it is a group of 6 graders in Nigeria just earning a living and getting an "A" for good English skills.

Damn them for improving their game! I wish the mothership would come and beam them up up and away, along with the Nigerian woman of god (Naomi at last email, but aka Ruth, Rebecca, Abigail, Mrs. Smith, Mrs. Brown) who writes to me because no one else can help her obtain her gazillion dollars from a tupperware container hidden in a bank vault in an obscure Eastern European country where her father (who is a well-respected cacao merchant) died and left a scrap of a treasure map with my email address scrawled on it as her last hope. I hope they shake it up a bit and start using better names: Bambi, Cinnamon, Twirly Nips, Gbemisola (carry me into wealth), Monifa (I am lucky), Nkiruka (the best is still to come), and Ooompaloompka (I am here to screw you big time).

Today, I even got a fabulous job offer from Big Daddy Wombatu who just needs me to shake down some people, deposit illegal funds in my bank account and send him 90% of it in gold bars or bearer bonds or stuff it in my coochie and fly over to deliver it personally.

Just a little venting. Now back to my Godiva and Kahlua with a little coffee on the side.

We Have Lost Even ~ Pablo Neruda

2008-10-29T12:54:00.003-05:00

We have lost even this twilight.
No one saw us this evening hand in hand
while the blue night dropped on the world.

I have seen from my window
the fiesta of sunset in the distant mountain tops.

Sometimes a piece of sun
burned like a coin between my hands.

I remembered you with my soul clenched
in the sadness of mine that you know.

Where were you then?
Who else was there?
Saying what?
Why will the whole of love come on me suddenly
when I am sad and feel you are far away?

The book fell that is always turned to at twilight
and my cape rolled like a hurt dog at my feet.

Always, always you recede through the evenings
towards where the twilight goes erasing statues.

Mommy n Me

2008-10-28T11:41:00.008-05:00

Every year around this time I write a post about my mother. Each year between her death seems to lessen the pain of the loss a fraction. I managed to make it most of this month without crying until I unpacked a box over the weekend. I came upon some cookbooks that I inherited from my mom. One of them sent me hurtling back in time:

Mom taught me how to cook and bake from the time I was a tot. She would always set aside a "mommy n me" day and we would do a host of things. Usually, I was content to be in the kitchen with her on those days. She would pull down this cookbook and hand it to me. I could pick any cake I wanted in the book and we would bake it. I loved the looks of the cake on the cover, but I never chose that one. I always went to the poppyseed cake.

I don't know why I was drawn to it (maybe an early poppyseed addiction?), but I just loved the picture with the poppyseeds sprinkled all over the icing.

So *cheers* to my mother and our fun poppyseed cake baking days.

Do You Picnik?

2008-10-26T00:00:00.003-05:00

I found this free photo editing site that I love. You should try Picnik. It is fun to play around on. I took this photo on my cell phone, uploaded it to Picnik and tweaked the busy background. Such fun! I was getting ready for a party tonight and I wanted a friend's opinion on my appearance. I decided I liked the picture, but wanted to tweak it a bit. I think it turned out quite well, given the low res from a cell phone camera.

Hellbent or Hellbound?

2008-10-25T13:39:00.000-05:00

Your result for The Sexual HELL Test...

HELL LEVEL 1

Raw score: 52%

You're a fallen angel. There's some innocence there, but the sexual dark side has called you and, possibly, is already using you. But you're not evil, just naughty; dirty, but not filthy. You're certainly hellbound, and you'll most likely seek out other imps like yourself to work your wicked will. There might be a moral core inside you, but it's been overtaken by lust.

AVOID: the heavenbound. Your path is downward, and you'll need a guide.

Take The Sexual HELL Test at HelloQuizzy

Guilty Pleasures and Addictions

2008-10-24T23:30:00.005-05:00

If I get this new position (I will know this week whether I will take it or not), I intend to celebrate with another tattoo. Those things are addictive. I am going to get a butterfly put on one of the girls (the right one to be exact). I have been scouting for some pictures to get an idea of what I want.I might go for a much smaller rendition of this, but then Roger the really cool tat artist might have some other funky ideas for a butterfly tat. I know the colors will be pink, purple and teal or jade green.

I discovered that I am very turned on when a guy kisses my ankle tattoo when we are together. I can't explain it, but it sends warm cold chills up and down my spine. I figure one on the PTs will really spark some heat in me (and said guy)!

I have been busy with work-work and homework. I finally finished one of the two major projects tonight with 3 minutes to spare. It was an agonizing assignment. I feel drained. I am sitting here with a cup of cocoa spiked with Capn Morgan's Spiced Rum (heaven in a cup) and I am chatting with one o' my guys.

I had two dates this week! One with my guy Bryan and another with a new guy. Sunday I am meeting up with a friend in Greensboro. I met Blue on OKC and we have bonded. I love an intellectual guy who has a sense of humor and sense of adventure. We decided to meet halfway to create mischief and laughter. We were laughing tonight over the fact that I haven't obsessively googled him and man--he is all over google. He has written books, he works for gaming company so he has left his mark there, and he has done some movies (low budget icky horror things--sorry Blue--ya know I don't intend to watch'em any time soon). He is one cool dude!

I also met a guy from L.A. He is an actor (and yes I did obsessively google him and he is the real McCoy). He is a bit older than I like, but impeccably groomed and well-spoken. He is originally from NYC and he said he is a bit tired of the plastic women of Hollywood. He wants to get to know a certain SassyAssy. I might have to rent one of his movies and check out his acting abilities sometime this weekend. That might be an intriguing situation...maybe I will get invited to a red carpet event.

My Peeps

2008-10-17T07:14:00.003-05:00

These are my "peeps". D & I hosted a business networking event last night and we had several restaurants represented there, so we decided we all had to continue the fun at the respective restaurants to show our support. We were pretty wound up last night by the time this pic was taken. The lone guy, well, he had more than his fill of ta-ta conversation and we rocked his world when Steph and I did a ta-ta touch test to compare firmness...she paid for her ta-tas and we wanted to see what the difference was between them.

The Unbearable Lightness of Love

2008-10-16T13:37:00.002-05:00

I write a lot of "fluff" posts about silly and mostly highly exaggerated events from my life--I am sure you never guessed that. One thing my mamma taught me was to find the humor in any situation. It is a survival tactic.

Love seems like such a simple concept. It should be simple...man and woman meet, sparks fly, chemistry sets explode and the rest is history. It seems that doesn't happen enough. I know a handful of couples that are in love and love each other. I look at them with amazement and wonder "will that type of love ever be in my life?"

We all have baggage we drag around and into relationships and that baggage causes us to stumble through the whole love maze. I used to love my baggage as it was a great security blanket. But I just don't want to lug that around any longer. I use it to build up my biceps for a day or so and then leave it behind. I may look at pictures of it from time to time to remind me where I have come from and how much stronger and better I am today, but I don't pick it back up.

Will love come to me? It has in various forms, but romantic love doesn't seem to stay. I desire it to come camp out for the rest of my life. I desire to meet the "one", but I refuse to get discouraged. Life is too sweet and too interesting to let my happiness hang on that one factor alone. And as I have said before--life is a rollercoaster and I signed up for the full-impact, live life to the fullest adventure package. Whether love comes or not...I intend to be a happy person who enjoys what life has to offer.

The Smart and the Hawt

2008-10-14T18:08:00.002-05:00

I was chatting with a friend of mine today and he said that smart hawt women have it rough cause they are:
1) Smart
2) Hawt

Apparently, that combination just is a difficult one for attracting the right men. Or that is the conclusion that we came to. Marqy-Marq and I are on the same dating site and we have struck up a friendship. He reads my blog on the dating site and he read my recent post there about me attracting all these married men of late.

Some of the married men on there either posted on that blog or sent me private messages that I was HAWT and that is why I am garnering all the attention from them. Some of them even asked me to give them a chance...cause they have a different situation/arrangement/life than the typical married but looking man. Really? Cause all the stories sound the same to me! Like I told them...that is just not for me...no judgement but I want all the attention...being #2 doesn't sit well with me. As of right now, I have had an invite to Arkansas, NYC, and MD for a little fun on the side. Fun for whom? Possibly me for the moment, but not afterward.

The other men that have been coming on with a vengeance are the 60+ set. Lord, do I look like I need a grandfather figure??? Ewwwwww.....I will stick with my vibrator or one of my boy-toys thanks so very much!

Holy Hair Color, Batman!

2008-10-13T09:52:00.003-05:00

I definitely walk to the beat of my own drum with my plum streaked hair. I love it, it looks great, and of course, it grabs a lot of attention. I stumbled upon a website that just puts a whole new spin on hair color.

The premise of Betty's hair color is to color the hair down there! Now from one perspective...to color gray hair down there--that makes sense, but Fun (hot pink) and Malibu (fluorescent blue)? That would definitely bring a pregnant pause to a first time encounter after coloring your coochie. As much fun as I have with coloring my hair, I just don't think I can bring myself to go this route.

I would get caught in the middle of the color processing. I can see it now:

"Honey, ummm...why do you have aluminum foil in your coochie hair? Should I be concerned with aliens or something?" Poor boyfriend sports a bemused look on face.

"Oh, hey!" as I sit legs splayed on the toilet seat trying to act nonchalant. "Well, I have a little surprise for you. What do you think?" I would hold up a merkin with various streaks of colors: Fun, Malibu, BuzzKill (lime green), DiscoDiva (metallic gold), PurplePeopleEater (violet purple). "Care to guess which color I went with?"

Bemused boyfriend backs out of the bathroom and mumbles something about needing a drink or five.

To Die or Not to Die--From Orgasm or Dessert

2008-10-12T11:24:00.000-05:00

An acquaintance had a discussion at a recent dinner about whether it would be better to die from an orgasm or from eating your favorite dessert. A WHOLE conversation about this! Apparently, several men decided that their exes' respective carrot cake and tiramisu were the way to go rather than in the middle of an orgasm.

I have to admit, I make a to-die-for White Russian Tiramisu, which truth be told has garnered me many woos from men; however, if I had to choose whether to die in the midst of the most fantastic sex or finishing off my fantabulous tiramisu--I know what I am going to choose...and it may very well involve some whipped cream.

How I Know Its Going to End

2008-10-11T11:16:00.002-05:00

As soon as the current flavor issues the ill-fated phrase, "Lets plan a beach trip", I know that the countdown has begun. The first time it happened, I had made the reservations at his behest and two weeks before we were to go, he broke up with me.

The next guy who uttered the phrase disappeared on me the week before, only to resurface many months later. I got wise after that incident and when a guy utters the phrase "you, me & a beach trip" I express mild enthusiasm, encourage HIM to make the reservations, and start placing bets with the gfs when the break-up will be. It is a running joke now amongst my circle. The beach obviously knows something I don't about these gentlemen and it doesn't want me there with the wrong guy.

Nicholas and I are a planning a weekend getaway Halloween weekend if all goes as planned. He fortunately has not uttered the ill-fated words. We are meeting in Charlottesville, VA. He is making all the reservations and plans....I merely have to show up. This is a novelty for me. It seems it has always been on my shoulders to plan weekend getaways. I have never had a guy do it all and I am looking forward to it. I am excited about spending time with him.

Nicholas is an extremely intelligent man and I enjoy our conversations. He is also very good looking and more than a little eye candy for me. I feel like a teenager when he calls and my friend D can attest that I have a glow and huge smile on my face when Nicholas and I talk. She has banned me from talking to him when I drive with her in the car. I confess, I gaze longingly at his picture many times a day. He is a beautiful looking man...yummers...and I get to have him to myself for a weekend. Of course, I hope it leads to many more such weekends and he has expressed the same sentiment. Time will tell. I am excited about him and seeing where it all goes, but the practical side is holding back and just waiting to see what happens.

I Have Heard It All Now

2008-10-10T11:44:00.002-05:00

According to 1-800-Flowers.com:

Ex Day is October 16th!

Send our stunning fresh bouquet of gorgeous green and white blooms to reconnect with a long-lost "Ex"! Order one today and make their day as unforgettable as they are to you!

The freshest carnations, Gerbera daisies, Asiatic lilies, daisy poms, button poms and more, all in gorgeous shades of green and white
Arranged by our select florists in a clear glass gathering vase accented with raffia; measures 8"H
Components may vary
Arrangement measures approximately 18”H x 14”D

A terrific way to share a gift of stunning beauty with a past love and never let them forget you care!

What's The Story?
Inspired by CBS' new series, THE EX LIST, "Ex Day" on October 16th is the perfect day to reconnect with your "Ex" and who knows…sparks could fly again! And what better way to surprise them than with this fabulous bouquet of fresh green and white flowers!

I guess Hallmark will be coming out with a complimentary card line for Ex Day also! Now why didn't I come up with this idea????

What to Write this Fine Friday

2008-10-10T10:31:00.003-05:00

I love to blog and although I do get a tingle when I see someone has commented, that has never really been the driver for me to write. I like the anonymity and the freedom to throw my thoughts, stories, fears out into the wind where anyone can read them.

I belong to a group called the Extraordinary Women's Circle. It is a coaching group and I love it! One of the things we have been working on is sharing a celebration, a gratitude, and a desire. So I thought I would post that here also:

My celebration for the week is having Nicholas arrange a weekend getaway for us.
My gratitude for the week is having a wonderful client who is responsive and pays promptly.
My desire is to have a steady workload beginning on Monday.

So there ya go, I am letting my sappy show through today!

Happy Weekend everyone!

Sex with Strangers

2008-10-09T09:34:00.003-05:00

I was a bit flummoxed this week when a former lover told me he could not bear to read my blog any longer because I was a train wreak waiting to happen with the getting drunk and sleeping with strangers posts I had been making. I was rather confused as the only post I wrote about getting drunk recently was Autumn Celebration. I do mention getting together with Bryan. He is less of a stranger to me in terms of actual face time than the former lover was when we first had sex.

It seems to me that sex with strangers happens more with someone you know. I was married to a man who never knew or understood me. I was with this former lover, but he never really lets people get close to him, so how well did I know him? He apparently doesn't know me as well as he likes to think if he is determined to believe that I will have sex with complete strangers I picked up in a bar. I have to wonder what is really going on with him. It can't be that I have been with other men, because he has read many posts about that since we broke up. I don't believe he is in love with me because I don't think he has given his heart in years due to fear. I don't believe it is concern for me because a concerned person would take some action (hey Sassy, we need to talk...I am concerned about recent events in your life, what the hell are you doing? Are you okay? Is there something I can do for you?).

I have never done the "sleep with just anyone from a bar" and never will. I felt safe when I did my partying because I was with some good friends who watched my back. Yes, they did get a laugh out of some of my antics that I can't recall doing, but in the end, I went home with people I knew. I knew Bryan well enough. We have mutual friends, he has a good reputation in the community. He ensured we made it home safely. He never hurt me. He and I have been in communication since that night and have plans to see each other again. That is not my definition of sex with a stranger.

Bryan is a gentleman and the kind of guy a girl can just hang around or have a relationship with. We haven't defined any parameters for us. We enjoy each others company, we obviously have some great chemistry that we wish to explore further, but neither is willing to be in a committed relationship at this point. We are honest and open with each other about our expectations or lack thereof. It works for both of us right now.

So contrary to this lover's stance, I am doing fine. I did have an emotional punch out this summer (which I never talked about only alluded to on my blog) but as with everything...time will heal that wound also. Life is a rollercoaster and I signed up for the deluxe package.

Sassy's Freak Hit Parade

2008-10-08T00:01:00.000-05:00

I was in Greensboro, NC, today and I met up with a friend of mine at the Green Bean in downtown G'boro. I have been to the area before with him, but he always drove. I got there thanks to the GPS Bitch--or at least in the vicinity. I still had to find the place. I headed across the parking lot and encountered freaky guy number one (although on hindsight he was probably the most normal of the bunch I encountered). He stared at me right up until we were face to face and then he said, "Girl, you are just a delight for my eyes...mmmmmmmm." I tossed a thank you over my shoulder and kept on going.

This helpful, albeit directionally-challenged, girl sent me in the wrong direction. When I realized it and turned back, I picked up "Homer". Homer clearly had been drinking rather than working all day as he tried to convince me. I couldn't shake Homer because he was determined to see the "little lady" to the Green Bean safely. A block away from the Green Bean, I picked up three more guys in the freak parade...friends of Homer. All very determined to help me. When at last GB came into sight across the street, I ran as fast as my high heels could carry me. Tossing a "Thanks guys" to my disappointed fan club. Thank god they did not follow me in.

Hottie Z--I am telling you, my friend, you have got to be a better bodyguard! Thanks for getting me back to my car without incident. Those lethal Marine skills definitely come in handy at times. Thanks for dinner...guess we need to find the new location of our favorite Mexi place, eh?

I wish I knew what the beacon is that beckons my parade of freaks. It must be a tricky pheromone or the purple streaks in my hair or the cute lil tattoo on my ankle. What a lucky girl I am!

Muy Caliente!

2008-10-07T11:51:00.002-05:00

That is Felipe my dance instructor. Isn't he a hottie. I love dancing with him. I always feel like a sexed up Ginger Rogers dancing with him. We have a blast during my lesson. On Sunday we danced a Rumba to Funky Cold Medina and at the end he encouraged me to do some of my signature Sassy moves. When I finished up he decided he needs to take me to this edgy urban dance club in Charlotte to showcase my sexiness.

Drumroll Please...and the

2008-10-06T13:01:00.001-05:00

Asshole of the Year award for the 2nd straight year goes to....

Mr. C

Sorry Utenzi....that ship just isn't going to land at this dock...EVER!

My New Biotch

2008-10-06T08:31:00.003-05:00

I bought a GPS unit for my car. I will be doing some extensive travel in the coming months for business and I thought it would be a handy thing to have. I hate the GPS woman. She is a bitch. I was in Charlotte yesterday to dance and spend time with my nieces and I decided to use the Bitch to get me to the restaurant I was meeting my sister at. I plugged in the address...I got a lovely tour of Charlotte as the Bitch tried to send me back home! I finally shut her off before I tossed her onto the highway.

Jadey and I decided that she really needed to increase her value to me by giving me the following warnings:

-Hot man in car, 10 yds ahead
-Wave at hot man in car next to you
-Great upscale bar and dance floor at next left
-Group of available, attractive professionals 2 miles. Exit to your right
-Warning, you will be stood up by Mr. C so don't hold your breath

One of my projects today is how to get the Bitch to operate correctly. Did I mention I hate her?

Horizons

2008-10-04T16:54:00.004-05:00

My life is jam-packed at the moment with school. Sometimes I have to remind myself why I am getting my Masters (more money, more career choices, the accomplishment of it all). I get a wee bit frustrated with all the projects that are due. We are adults taking these courses and we have jobs and lives and I think the professors lose sight of that fact. I keep saying "6 more classes, 6 more classes, 6 more classes". It doesn't sound like much, but two classes during tax season is enough to make anyone slightly batty and frankly, two classes right now is taxing (punny, huh?).

I have a fair amount of work right now, but not consistently. I have been approached by a woman to be her official tax guru on this woman-directed website she is launching soon. She wants me to consider becoming a life coach for women, writing a book, and producing some informational videos. WOW! I told her I needed a few days to think about it. She is enamored with my unique business model and how I work with my clients. She sees great things in my future and she wants to help me achieve them.

Another opportunity came up over the summer. I was hired by an existing client to be her Marketing Director. I stepped up to the challenge. Her business is rapidly growing and expansion into other states is or will be happening in the near future. She wants to me to do not only her accounting and marketing, but also her HR needs. This job will require travel all across the U.S. It is possible I will move temporarily to Baltimore before the year is out. I love to travel and I have no strings tying me down. Very very appealing.

The third opportunity does not have a time frame, but a local life coach I have been working with has mentioned that she envisions me becoming the CFO for her company. She is another who fell head over heels with my unique business model and has been spreading the word that I am an accountant that women should want to deal with.

I am excited about the possibilities that are before me.

Then there is the man front....Bryan, Mr. C, Hottie Nicky-boy....mmmmmm I love having choices. A trifecta in my life on different fronts....coincidence? I think not!

Here's to rolling the dice and creating the horizons.

The only downside right now is the stinkbug invasion! I would so love to throw open my doors and windows to bask in the cool crisp fall air, but alas! the stinkbugs find the tiniest of spaces to crawl in. I have taken to vacuuming them up. I wonder how long they last in a vacuum bag? Can they crawl back out? Ewwwwww!!!

The homework slave has cracked her whip...back to writing papers on tax fraud and better business communication habits. Back to filming video presentations about same subjects. Back to wondering where in the hell my pen went and why the damn <, key keeps popping off the keyboard.

Ceeing is Believing

2008-09-30T23:10:00.002-05:00

So C is in an on again/off again relationship...which sorta explains his myspace page. Supposedly, it is off and he has been having fantasies of me. I am going to meet up with him...if he shows up...on the 7th. We shall see. Won't be holding my breath. He wants a booty call pretty badly with ole Sassy gal. Bahahahaha!

Ceeing Double

2008-09-29T06:57:00.002-05:00

Utenzi will be chomping at the bit to learn that C from last year popped back into my life last night via IM.

A brief history of C--younger guy, pharmaceutical sales, yummy looking, great listener, he had the distinction of the best first date I have ever been on. Then....he dropped the ball, stood me up, and I sent him a not so nice email about him wasting my precious time. Haven't heard hide nor hair of him since December/January. Viola! I wake up this morning to an IM from him. He sent it last night and I went to bed early to recover from the weekend shenanigans. So, I am not sure why he contacted me. Probably has hoped enough time has passed that I have forgotten/forgiven his asshole ways.

Does that warm your heart Utenzi? You were rooting for him for so long now...maybe the message was really from you????

Autumn Celebration

2008-09-28T15:55:00.004-05:00

I had a girl's nite out last night. It was probably the wildest time I have had. We did dinner + three bottles of wine. Then we moved to our favorite upscale bar so I could see my buddy Beasley the bartender and we could meet up with some of the crew from the local college hockey team. More specifically, we met up with Bryan.

Bryan is the marketing guy for the hockey team and we met at Pink in the Rink last weekend. He is a hottie and I have been talking about him with D all week. I was going to meet up with him Friday to listen to a band, but I chickened out. He was the only person I knew (barely knew) at the bar and I felt funny showing up alone. I didn't want him to think I was chasing after him. I found him attractive, but I was not in chase mode.

Anyway, Bryan was there with the assistant coach, his wife, and another woman. We couldn't figure out if Bryan was with Em. Turns out they are just friends. We bonded with the women and the coach told us Bryan would give us tickets to any hockey game we wanted. We left the upscale bar and headed to the Meat Market. Well, my gal-pals left me behind because Bryan, Em, and I were still talking. I finally made it over to the Meat Market for some beer and shots complements of our favorite surfer-dude bartender who gives us free drinks all night. Bryan showed up a while later. I am rather unclear on some aspects of the evening. I know Bryan and I made out at the bar. I know D & I kissed each other and then kissed Bryan at the same time. I know I got very very sick.

And who did the staff find to come take me home? Bryan! I was mortified, but he made sure that D and I made it home safely. Bryan and I didn't do much sleeping once arriving home. Three hours of very interesting sex. I think we finally collapsed about 6:30 this morning. Bryan really got turned on when he slipped his hand up my dress and I was sans panties (I didn't plan it that way. I actually tossed them in the trash at the club because they got on my nerves since they were uncomfortable...or I think that is why). Bryan said I was a fabulous kisser and very very sexy and very very good. Bryan was not trashed btw and at this point neither was I since I had tossed all my cookies earlier. We plan on seeing each other again. At last, a local guy who is smoking hot, smart, successful, interesting...and I didn't meet him on the internet.

29-Day Giving Challenge

2008-09-27T09:41:00.001-05:00

Check this out guys!

View my page on 29-Day Giving Challenge

Stalkerdom, School and Other Ditties

2008-09-19T12:00:00.004-05:00

The cop who stood me up twice continues to send me text messages to ask me what my problem is and why won't I reply and do I still want to go out with him.

Really? Really, he needs to send 16 text messages (all unanswered) to ask that? He can't figure out his role in my lack of response? He couldn't get a clue by the 2nd text message or third voicemail that I didn't respond to? Do men like this really think there are attractive women sitting at home just hoping and praying to be stood up yet again?

I am into my third week of the semester of school. It is a bit hard to refocus on tax law and fraud investigations, but I think that is because of all the distractions afforded me this summer. I am so obsessive about my grade point average and that B I got over the summer was a blow. So, I trotted down to B&N and got a school planner which I have been relatively good about using. Need to write a paper today on writing fraud investigation reports and plow through some law books. Guess I won't be trotting around some trendy bars tonight. It will take all day to get what I need done accomplished.

Charity begins at home:

Tomorrow I have the pleasure of helping with Pink in the Rink. It should be a lot of fun and I will be working with some great people.

Last night I attended an open house at a local charity that has been set up to aid women trying to overcome addictions. It was simply phenomenal to meet some of their success stories. It made me cry. I am going to work with them in whatever capacity I can in the coming year.

LOST

2008-09-17T19:46:00.002-05:00

My dear friend lost something precious recently and I can only stand aside and watch her pain. I have felt a similar pain when I lost my baby. It seems so long ago and yet this brings those feelings rushing back in. The ache, the tears, the loss.

My situation is different in that I did not want another child and was not trying to get preggers in the first place. I lost the only child I would ever conceive. I think that is why I try to stay so busy because sometimes at night I can't stop thinking about what might have been...I imagine what it would have been to see my child grow up. I wonder if I should adopt. Then I get busy with school and clients and friends and dating and let that thought drift away on the wind until next time.

I know sure as the sun will come out that my dear sweet friend will conceive again. I also know that her little gift will not be replaced or forgotten. I wish I could give her advice or tell her that this too shall pass, but really it never does. You never forget the little life inside you and I don't want to.

What I want for Smug....to give her lots of love and hugs and comfort. The things that I really never got enough of when I lost my little one.

The Ex-Factor

2008-09-14T21:52:00.002-05:00

The ex-hub and I had to meet this weekend to finish up some business between us. We are on good terms and we get along well now that we are not living together. In fact, I would venture to say we are better friends now than we ever were during the marriage.

Our business was conducted at the DMV and involved transferring title to our respective vehicles. We just never got around to it until now. We must have worked with the DMV girl for about 20 minutes and we just chatted with each other and caught up on current events. Towards the end, the DMV girl looked at us both and asked, "You guys are getting a divorce?" I said, "No, we are already divorced." She shook her head and said, "I just can't believe it. You two seem perfect for each other and you get along so well." My reply was the same as the one I gave my divorce lawyer when she made the same observation, "It is easy to get along when you are no longer living with each other."

Ex-hub didn't look real well and I asked him about it. He has some fairly serious health issues including what looks like the start of the disease that caused his mother's death. I am worried about him and feel helpless all at the same time. I feel some responsibility towards him as all of his family is in the mid-west with the exception of our son (my stepson). He has no one to look after him should he end up in the hospital. No one to help him should he need to get to the doctor.

This makes me wonder...do we ever really cut the ties that bind?

WTF??? Just Another Psycho in Sassy's Day

2008-09-09T13:04:00.001-05:00

I had this IM conversation today....people like this should be banned from computer usage:

WhackJob Asshole: hi sexy
Sassy: hi
WhackJob Asshole: i want to snuggle in the silk sheets with you
WhackJob Asshole: it says on your message off to snuggle in the silk sheets
Sassy: lol
WhackJob Asshole: i am thinking about becoming a monk
WhackJob Asshole: but then again i could not be a monk
WhackJob Asshole: unless i was out in the middle of no where
Sassy: i forget to take that down the silk sheets message on my status message
WhackJob Asshole : thats ok
Sassy: lmao
WhackJob Asshole: ok whats the lmao for
WhackJob Asshole: because i said thats ok
Sassy :the monk thingy
WhackJob Asshole: oh ok
WhackJob Asshole: well you are late and behind the times It was less than a minute when I responded
WhackJob Asshole: i said that a while ago
Sassy: hmmph
Sassy: I was on the phone
WhackJob Asshole: you are always doing some thing this is the 2nd IM chat we have had
WhackJob Asshole: so why are you chatting with me if you are not interested I am talking to you aren’t I?
WhackJob Asshole: oh i for got you are from Virginia that is relevant how???
Sassy : you lost me
WhackJob Asshole: yes like usual
WhackJob Asshole: its ok i am not into games Really? Must be some party going on inside that head
WhackJob Asshole: good luck in your search and good luck finding what you are looking for
WhackJob Asshole: i for got Virginia women play head games Have you taken your meds today?
WhackJob Asshole : then again i dont think there are any real women in Virginia and you are qualified to make this observation????
WhackJob Asshole: so please delete me from yahoo don’t worry it was done before you finished this sentence—you f*cking nut job...why would I want to chat with you again?

Splitting Hairs

2008-09-07T08:39:00.002-05:00

I have been using the Journal feature on OKCupid for the last week to test the waters. It is a mini-blog and an interesting thing has happened as a result: I am attracting bi-sexual men and women by the bus loads. I have not written anything on the subject in my journal and it is certainly clear by my posts what my preference is. I have communicated with a few of them because they are so interesting, but I wonder what the draw is.

Life is a journey....and I am riding the rollercoaster.

Thrill of the New and Unknown

2008-09-05T12:08:00.004-05:00

I met a guy. That is not extraordinary in itself. His name is Nick (my all time favorite name). He is beyond hot looking (black hair, chocolate eyes, toned body). He is part Italian and part Indian and that, my friends, makes for an incredible exotic look. He has a personality: he is kind, generous, thoughtful, witty. He was born in NJ, a few townships from me. He is very smart, well-spoken, can spell. The sexual attraction between us is of equal weight. The sheer beauty of his exquisite face takes my breath away. His voice makes me melt. His mind is amazing. He finds me entrancing and intriguing and confessed that he is smitten with me. He is mine for the asking (and ask I did). We live several hours apart and he shrugs it off with a "you are worth the travel time". He calls and IMs every day. He sends little thinking of you notes when I am not around.

To quote a line from the movie, Bringing Down the House, "The cool points are out the window and I'm all twisted up in the game."

Will Love Come?

2008-08-31T08:26:00.005-05:00

This Sassy girl has been on a quest most of my life to find "love". It is one of the most elusive things despite the fact that most everyone seems to be on a similar path: to find or to keep love. I have hit the age of 40 and have had brief brushes with what could loosely be termed love.

Frankly, the choices I encounter leave me to speculate that I should take the path of pleasure and throw love out the window. On one of my dating profiles, I filled in a tongue in cheek line "I hope if you contact me please God let your picture show you are wearing a wife beater, standing in front of a mirror posing, and please be into hunting and fishing." Snarky doesn't translate well apparently...so my inbox is crammed with emails from every redneck from here to California and a few Canucks too. Let's not leave out the lovely romance scammers who all wish me to raise their non-existent children while they engineer some bridge in Nigeria/Brazil or stay for months on end on an oil rig off the coast of the UK. Then I have the late teen/early 20's set who wish me to teach them "things".

The man I am looking for: the professional who doesn't do drugs or is an alcoholic, who isn't married and cheating on his wife or looking for a third for a threesome, who is smart, funny, charming, sincere, who is not emotionally damaged to the point that he is incapable of love, who is not bipolar or OCD, who does not have six motherless children, who can write more than a passable sentence in English, who is not a closet freak boy, who loves sex, who is capable of commitment, who wants to travel the world and explore possiblities--this man does not exist. I think my odds of having an alien spaceship land on my deck are higher than finding a man that appeals to me on a long term basis.

So perhaps a life of pleasure rather than love should be the choice for Sassy. What do ya'll think?

One Hit Wonders

2008-08-27T15:15:00.004-05:00

The great thing about one hit wonders is that they never worry about a repeat performance. They can get in there, do their one thing very very well and move on. No looking back, no wondering if they could improve.

I can't imagine ever being satisfied with the status quo. I could never be a one hit wonder. I want to excel in everything I do and I am always trying to improve.

Take sex...there is so much more to it than the horizontal. I love to watch movies (infer what you wish there); I frequent the sexuality section in B&N (no matter what creepy men are hanging about); I have frank conversations with guy pals to get the inside scoop on best practices; I subscribe to a phenomenal UK magazine called Scarlet to find out the latest and greatest trends, toys, and gossip; I visit some very cool sex boutiques; I watch Sex and the City every night (simply because I love it and I am a junkie). I definitely put into practice what I learn....well the things that are a good fit for me. How can people remain stagnant on such an important topic?

The advantage to having a relationship with one person is there is limitless opportunities to not only enjoy each other, but to explore the many avenues that sex affords. So much sexuality so little time! Being with one person certainly does not have to be boring if both come to the party ready to have fun. It is a blast to try new oils, lotions, flavored condoms, a myriad of positions, toys, and the imagination.

Burn a few candles, pour some wine, strap some CFM shoes on and a sexy bustier and have some fun. Maybe throw in some whipped cream or chocolate sauce for a sweet treat. Sexy is more than being model thin; it is an attitude, a glance, a touch. Sexy is a vibe that anyone can have.

So where am I going with this? I had a one hit wonder encounter this week. The guy and I have obvious tangible chemistry. We have fun together. We had a date and a few beers, shots & pizza later we got into a heavy make out session that led to other more intimate things. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't want to marry this guy, have his babies or even live with him. I would love to go out with him again, but I think he moved on. It is frustrating! The sex was great for both parties and I walked away knowing I would not hear from him again unless he is looking for a booty call. This guy is nice and considerate and I have to wonder....why won't he be calling?

I think it is the One Hit Wonder Syndrome: "I have had that so now I will leave--no need to anticipate another date with Sassy and have to up the ante. I may not be able to top this date so I will stop while I am ahead."

I prefer to think it is this rather than he was just notching up his bedpost, but I should call a spade a spade. I won't be waiting around for his call and if he does...well, I guess if I am in need of servicing I will respond.

Cougars on the Prowl

2008-08-21T00:19:00.008-05:00

A couple weekends ago, my gal-pal D & I went out for the evening. We were surrounded by 20-something lifeguards who beg us to come party with them. So we do. I was grabbed up by Phred and tongued within an inch of my life.

We picked up Michelle along the way...she decided our cougar club was a lot of fun!

The Oral Majority

2008-08-19T13:42:00.003-05:00

There is nothing like a little (or in this case--a lot) of oral pleasuring to lift a girl's mood! Tex just rocks when it comes to lifting my spirits (temperature, orgasm level....). He popped over for a while yesterday to go swimming and one thing led to another. We eventually made it to the pool for some cooling down. Summer may end up being a great one after all.

Biker Dude did his best last week to convince me that we needed to get back together. He gave me some bull about having always cared about me and still cared about me. I had to kick him out of my apartment...that was a battle. He wanted to stay and keep me company-supposedly fully dressed through the night unless I changed my mind. He even offered to give me my favorite bedtime treat if I let him stay. What an offer! I had to turn it down though...that is a road I won't be traveling down again.

Biker Dude Swoops In

2008-08-13T17:16:00.004-05:00

Yes, Utenzi, Biker Dude is back for more sassy sarcasm. I guess he ditched his latest victim and has returned to me to see if I am open for a little fun n games. Since he is treating on the beer and pizza, I humor him by keeping him company in public but the buck stops at my doorstep. I figure it is the least he can do for me after all the history between us. He puts out some moola and I put I out a few hours of my effervescent charm and wit.

You're next Utenzi! Didn't you mention something about me moving in with you???? Hmmmm, I don't think you could afford my champagne tastes darlin!

Shake Your Groove Thing

2008-08-12T20:28:00.004-05:00

So this yummy specimen has been chatting me up from one of the dating sites I frequent. He would really like some cougar love and is trying to convince me to give him a chance. He definitely got it going on! Mr. Happy thought he had turned his web cam away from him while he changed out of his shorts into his sweats. I got a partial ass view (wow!) and a side view of certain other important parts. OMG! It can't be emphasized enough: this boy has got it going on. I swear he should be a porn star...or maybe he is one. Hell if I know! The equipment is definitely impressive.

He is really working the angle of becoming my cabana boy. What do you all think? Should I hire him?

Friends Revisted

2008-08-07T22:48:00.004-05:00

Tex and I has a little reunion tonight. It was awesome to see him! We hugged, we kissed, we made a date for soon...so very very soon. Seems we both have missed the same things...each other. Nothing like a hawt man to tell you how beautiful you look! I had my hair done today and he kept remarking how lovely I have grown in the month since we last saw each other. I finally remembered to give him his gift. I had bought him the book The Sensuous Woman as a joke. He had told me that was the first book he read cover to cover willingly and when I saw it in the used bookstore, I just had to get it for him. The grin on his face when I gave it to him was worth the price I paid. I suspect I will benefit greatly from this little gift if the parting kiss he gave me was anything to go by.

Foiled Again!

2008-08-06T08:04:00.002-05:00

Karma sure does not like me. She foiled another get away attempt and it looks as if my visitors won't be coming at all. I might be staying in my apartment too, but all the packing up and clearing out has been a good thing. Less stuff to maneuver about and clean. Got rid of a lot of memories that were just clogging the apartment up and collecting dust.

So Sassy stays put. Karma better make up for all this bitchiness she has displayed toward me!

Sassy Bares All

2008-08-03T19:34:00.002-05:00

Two friends and a week later my apartment is down to bare bones. It is shocking to gaze around and see next to nothing in my cozy apartment. Sassy's home boutique has not closed yet. Still plenty to get rid of, but I needed some sense of coziness when my visitors come. I have to tackle my storage closet next. Since I haven't gone in there in two years, I figure most of the items in there are destined for the dumpster.

My visitors may be delayed a week and if that is the case, I will be taking a little trip to be with them until they come here. Either way, I am cool with it. I could use a vacay and it will be nice to just go somewhere different and not be surrounded by packed boxes. I should find out tomorrow if I am going to hop a plane this week or not.

Sassy's Inferno

2008-07-29T20:29:00.003-05:00

OMG! I cannot believe the stuff I have found in cleaning out the apartment. I found the card the ex-hub gave me when he proposed (barf!) and all the letters/cards he sent me. I thought I had tossed them. I found broken bits and pieces...and I MOVED that kind of thing into the apt (forgive me Smug for I have sinned)! Out damned spot, out!

I hate sitting in my apt at the moment with all the crap piled up waiting to be hauled to a) dumpster b) goodwill c) friends d) craigslist strangers. I want to wave a magic wand and have it all gone. My goal is to have most of it out of here this weekend. I just need to round up some very good friends (you know who you are) & enlist their help. Most of the boxes put aside to go to storage contain books I cannot bear to part with. Books are like old friends. Hell, I will toss clothes and accessories out faster than books and I am quite the clothes horse.

SassyKitty is going wild. She does not know what to make of the chaos. Poor thing...she knows her time is counting down til my sister and nieces haul her off to be with them....she kept hissing at the girls for no reason when they spent the night last week.

I am running out of time on my deadline to get things outta here. Must have it nice and neat with all unnecessary items boxed up and packed away in the closets. Got important visitors coming!

Feng Shui This

2008-07-26T14:41:00.004-05:00

My lease is up on my apartment in September. I am moving out and have decided to pare down on the amount of stuff I am moving. I have discovered the joys of advertising stuff on Craigslist and freecycle. Sassy's booty camp workout has resumed once again and Smug (un)happily has rejoined! She helped me haul out about 10 heavy bags of garbage today. The upside is that she is shopping the Sassy Home Boutique for various and sundry things.

It is truly liberating to go from over 75 cookbooks down to 10. I have gotten rid of my stockpile of craft magazines. The next things to be sorted through is my collection of fiction books and my crafts. I have decided to donate unused craft items to a youth center (if they will ever call back). I am even getting rid of a large assortment of cookware that I just have not touched in years.

My clothing and large collection of shoes & accessories is not off-limits either. I have three bags of clothes to go to Goodwill--that was just from my two dressers. I still have a large walk-in closet and spare closet to go through. The nieces have been making a dent into some of my stuff. They hauled off several bags of booty this week. I have to watch out for the younger one. She is definitely a tricky squirrel. I had to check her stuff to make sure she left behind my Ipod as she kept swiping it.

The Ass Man and Other Fans

2008-07-21T08:26:00.003-05:00

My friend Dayna and I gathered up a group of her male lifeguard friends and hung out at our favorite club on Saturday night. I had a trail of men all evening long....I guess the full on cleavage shirt was a bit over the top! One guy walked by me, did a double take, and practically fell on his knees in an act of worship over my ass. Dayna called him on it and he actually blushed and slunk away. Later I ran into Ass Man again and he told me I left him breathless with my tits and ass....they were perfect! I laughed at him and moved along.

There is something perversely amusing hanging with very hawt, well built younger men and watching all the young women trying to get their attention. Dayna and I found Jay-Jay...a cute hottie who also liked to make fun of people on the dance floor so we added him to our fan club and he kept gravitating back to us for some a little dancing & a lot of mocking.

After we left the club, we hung out on the sidewalk with two very buff, very amusing men who were 30+. We stood around making fun of the many fashion faux pas streaming out of the club...one of those being a dress cut down to ass cleavage....only the girl was wearing granny panties under the dress..eewwww! or the 300 lb woman squeezed into a tube top and jean miniskirt or the 46ff bust left to flap in the breeze...no support to be found...under a tank top....it was a fright night of "What the hell were you thinking?" in the fashion department. Do people own full length mirrors any more? Do they not look at themselves before going out or have a good friend to ask how they look?

And what is up with all the faux bridal veils and sashes proclaiming "Bride" and "Bridesmaid"? And all the girls wear very similar outfits. Barf! Can the bachlorettes be a little more creative? Must these affairs be paraded out to the public with no thought or creativity put into other than to buy cheap veils and sashes?

The summer nights of booze and Dayna antics are slowly coming to an end. We figured this might be our last hooraw since she is off on family vacation and then I will be be busy the rest of the summer doing my own thing.

Tattoo You!

2008-07-14T21:26:00.004-05:00

YUP! I finally did it! You are looking a my one & only tattoo. Roger my tat man did a phenomenal job. The picture really doesn't do it justice. It did sting a bit but I have had worse pain in my life. I love the colors!

Love Has Come This Summer--Bellissimo!

2008-07-13T09:04:00.004-05:00

Love has come at last! I got a double dip this summer in the same week--Burn Notice returned with mouthwatering Jeffrey Donovan (meow!) and Brendan Fraser (sexual moan) released one of his two movies. Yeah baby! Journey to the Center of the Earth is a fun movie, but I would have enjoyed watching it as 3-D. I really cannot wait until the new Mummy movie is out for another long eyeful of Brendan.

It has been a banner week despite my bitching about homework, which is almost 100% done thankfully.

Homework Bound Girl

2008-07-12T08:50:00.003-05:00

Yikes! I am so far behind on my school work! I sat down yesterday and whacked out five assignments by burning the midnight oil. I have one more mini assignment to finish and then I have to wave a magic wand and do an oral presentation and some sort of tax case analysis. Oy vey! All of this has to get done this weekend...oh and I have to listen to three very longggggg and boringggg lectures. The professor is nice, but frankly listening to a monotone phlegm snorter for any length of time is rather ummmm nauseating! It has been hard to stay focused with summer upon me. Not to mention that I am slightly burnt out from three years of school. I try to keep in mind that I just need to get to April 2009 and viola! I will have my masters. I would like to say a hard earned masters, but I have only been able to devote half-assed effort to the masters so far...just seven more classes...that is my mantra.

Big Z and Little Z

2008-07-10T16:56:00.001-05:00

This is a big shout out & congrats to my friend Z...his little Z was born finally! Yeah!!!!!

July 4, 2008

2008-07-06T18:29:00.005-05:00

I hope everyone had a safe & happy 4th of July! I have a tradition of seeing a movie on the 4th and this year was no different. I went to see Hancock. Will Smith was fine looking as usual. The movie was funny with the exception of a brief section of the film that was more serious than I anticipated the film would get. I love Will Smith so I give it 4 stars! I got some great pictures of the fireworks! Although, I have to confess, I find the 4th a bit of a strain as that was the anniversary of the ex-hub's & mine first kiss. You would think with the divorce, with the passage of time, with falling out of love with him that it simply would no longer matter. That is what I think and yet a piece of me was a bit sad watching the fireworks. I finally went to bed early with SassyKat.

It is a Sassy Summer and life is moving right along. I get my nieces tomorrow for a full day. It will be fun and exhausting. Got some new clients too! This week will prove to be quite interesting.

My birthday booty this year was pretty impressive: a pearl necklace, several dance lessons, mucho dinners and lunches, a funky moonstone necklace, a bracelet, a beautiful pair of purple earrings, many musical cards, and a surprise which I can't reveal yet. Soon on letting the cat out of the bag though...possibly next week!

Cop Out

2008-07-03T20:15:00.002-05:00

Grrrrr....nothing like being pulled over by a bored cop. I was driving home last night on a busy street...I had less than a car length of space between me & the vehicle in front of me...we had just gone through the green light. The cop was rather grumpy and decided to "let me off with a verbal warning" about following too closely since I didn't lie about the speeding ticket I got last fall...or could it be the other cop that stopped and told him about the murder/robbery/serious crime taking place down the street while he had my ass pulled over for a ridiculous reason?????

I swear, I think Dancing Psycho is behind this...he works for the cops and I have not responded to his recent spat of text messages in the hopes that he would go away. It would be easy for him to have one of his buddies pull me since I have personalized plates on my car. I am extra vigilant now when I drive...course that won't stop this harassment if he is behind it like I suspect.

Diary of Shoe Addicts

2008-07-01T09:14:00.006-05:00

I had my nieces all day last Thursday and what a blast that was! My apartment still has not recovered from the chaos that these two lovelies bring with them (hmmm I cannot deny they are related to me as I am often accused of the same phenomenon).

The first thing they did was make a beeline for my jewelry armoire to oooh, aaah, and beg for some of my sparklies & cool watches. Being the doting aunt...I handed over a motherlode of stuff! I gave the oldest my old wedding band & engagement ring and to the youngest this delicate amethyst necklace and earring set the ex-hub had given me. I also gave them a few pieces that my mother had given me. Those were the things I was planning to give them...they managed to weedle some of favorite pieces...like my purple boa watch...I am still kicking myself over that one! Then they discovered my cache of over 100 nail polishes...really...what can one person do with 100 polishes? I gave them the majority of them. They thought they had hit the jackpot!

We headed to the pool for several hours and what a great time we all had! We got back, cleaned up and I made lunch. The seven year old is tricky like Aunt Sassy....she went hunting for more treasures...and found my hooker shoe stash! She beelined for my 4" leopard print heels and I talked her into the 2.5" turquoise heels instead so I didn't have to cart her to the hospital (she is also clutzy like Auntie Sassy). The 12 year old then found my 4" red satin wedgies from Smug's wedding...and fell in love. I agreed to let them wear the shoes on the drive home. We modeled our hooker shoes:

I came home with all but the red satin 4" wedgies. Mom was ready to kill Aunt Sassy I do believe...or it could be she was envious because her foot is a lot bigger than mine and she can't wear my cool shoes like her daughters can!

Weekend Adventures

2008-06-29T09:01:00.005-05:00

Well, it is still old home week for me! Ghosts from romances past are still calling/emailing/im'ing me on an almost daily basis.

Yesterday I was with my friend Dayna. She treated me to a pedicure and we were headed back to her house when my cell rang. It was close to 5 pm and I didn't recognize the number but I answered it anyway. It was Steve the Asshole. He had made a date, stood me up, and sent me a belated text message to cancel the date. He has sent text messages and even called me since then, but I always ignored them. I am sure I mentioned him in past blog entries. So, all Dayna hears is my end of the conversation and she was laughing so hard she could barely drive. I hassled Steve the Asshole...pretended I didn't remember him, asked him if we had gone out, which dating site we met on, "no, I am sorry I don't remember you, no sorry I won't be going out with you". I could barely restrain my laughter in talking with Steve the Asshole because Dayna was laughing out loud. When I got off the phone we pondered what sort of man is going to call at 5 pm on a Saturday to ask a girl on a date for the same evening...does he think I am just sitting around hoping and praying some loser guy is going to ask me out for the evening?

Anyway, Dayna and Gloria took me to this awesome restaurant, Frankie Rowlands for a fun evening. I had the most incredible filet! It melted in my mouth. They really know how to do a steak and they are known for their potent pineapple martinis. YUMMERS!

After a leisurely meal, we strolled over to our favorite hot spot. Dayna and I love to make fun of people at this club. It just lends itself to many amusing events. I always attract the weird men and last night was no different. I ran into my bartender from earlier in the week. That was...um...interesting. He grabbed me up and kissed me on the lips and then copped a feel, not once but twice before I could stop him. His excuse? That I had such incredible looking and huge tits that he had to see if they were real....Well, he lost his favored bartender position over that whole episode.

Dayna rescued me from the clutches of several men over the course of the evening...my name was Pam for the entire evening and she was my lesbian lover. Actually, for the first time in a long time, a woman tried to pick me up last night. She was attractive and frankly, if I were into women, I would have gone for her...she had really cool hair...I think that is what attracted her to me...the spiky, purple streaks were driving her wild. A friend of Dayna's bought me a Jager bomb as a birthday gift...OMG...it made me soooo sick. Having one of those after several pineapple martinis and beer just was not a good idea. I am afraid I ended our evening a bit early because of that. Well that, and the fact that Dayna loaned me her new sexy CFM black shoes and they made my toes were numb. They are 3 1/2" heels and made my legs look awesome in their mini skirt, but my feet were not happy after a couple of hours of dancing and running from weird men.

Birthday Wishes

2008-06-25T12:13:00.005-05:00

Thanks for all the birthday wishes! It has been a lovely birthday week. Last night I was at one of my favorite bars and the really hawt bartender, Jon-Michael bought me several rounds of drinks, a tiramisu, flashed his totally bitchin chest to me and demanded a birthday kiss on the cheek from me. I was fanning myself all the way home! Tee hee hee.....

I have BIG news in the works, but I am going to stretch it out a bit before I unveil it here on the Glitter Whore...it was an early birthday present for me and I have just been enjoying it...slowly sharing it as the need or inclination arises....just a few more days or weeks....I will share with you guys!

These are photos from my cousin's birthday party:

Essentials for a 40 year old man

The birthday boy (Scott) and girl (Sassy)

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My fab cousin Jenn & her hubby