Friday, November 30, 2007
Belated DCF




Double the pleasure!

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Thursday, November 29, 2007
Shannon and the Panties


This is Shannon. Isn't she a beautiful dog? She is also very sweet natured and curious. Shannon kept coming in my room while I was visiting #1 Cousin. She would sniff around all my stuff. We think it is because she smelled Mz Sassykat on my stuff. That is a reasonable explanation for almost everything except for this:



Why did she keep dragging these undies out of my suitcase? They went straight from the laundry into my suitcase so Mz Sassykat had no opportunity to rub against them and they were kept separate from everything else in the suitcase! What a strange doggy. Maybe she was exploring her feminine side a bit more????

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Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Meanwhile, Back on the Ranch

Today was a very Twilight Zone kind of day. I am still processing portions of it. Several months ago, my big client hired a new engineer. He camped out in my office for weeks and trailed behind me making broad hints that he would love for me to show him around town since he was new to the area. I handled him with my typical flip fashion and he seemed to get the hint and backed off. Don't get me wrong, he still finds excuses to go out of his way to come to my office and when I pass by his desk he stares at me with lovestruck puppy eyes, but I thought he got it.

Fast forward to two weeks ago when we hired another engineer. He is hot looking and for once I noticed a wedding band so I just went on about my business. Lovesick and Hottie have become quite friendly and there have been several times when they have been together and appeared to be discussing me....today Hottie talked to me directly for the first time. I was friendly, but businesslike as usual when he shrewdly hit on a topic I am passionate about--music. The next thing I know, we are exchanging emails about some groups and he shows up in my office with his Ipod so I can listen to some music he thought I might like. I am keeping in mind that he is married so I think he is just being friendly. He is from New York so we found some things in common to discuss. Around lunchtime, he buzzed me on the phone and asked if he and Lovesick can discuss something with me. I said sure, come on down to my office.

The "question" was a recommendation of gym for both of them since they are new to the area. So, I do the friendly thing and get them the information. Still a lot of just hanging around when Hottie asks if I have had lunch and would care to join them as they would like to discuss an issue with me. Being a curious girl, I agreed to lunch. We finally sit down at the restaurant and as we are munching our way through some Lo Mein, I get the initial impression that Hottie is trying to pave the way for Lovesick to ask me out, but as the conversation progresses it became quite clear that Hottie was asking me to join him and his wife for a threesome! I played dumb and pretended not to get it. Then I address Lovesick directly and ask if his girlfriend is going to move up and suddenly I get a song and dance about how that is ending and he is thinking of online dating--do I have any advice? Hmmmmmmmmmmmm, where to start on that one?????

So Hottie kept trying to analyze me and figure out what I am all about. Kept asking very personal questions that I deflected back to him. This only served to intrigue both of them as they now think I am hiding a wild life from my work life (hahahahahaha). Hottie came under the guise of asking some HR questions later on this afternoon and camped out in my office. He continued to try to figure me out and whether I was really clueless about the menage a trois he was broadly hinting at. I finally said, get to the point. He did. He also said he and Lovesick have a contest going on and that I am fair game...Hottie is confident that he is going to win me.

I am more than a little amused at the confidence Hottie is displaying in convincing me to go for an affair with him and his wife. I don't share and no amount of charm and good looks is going to change that part of my personality. Lovesick is going to be pining for me until his dying day and nothing will ever change that variable either.

Welcome to Sassyland! I haven't made up a thing here. In fact, I probably have left out a lot of stuff, because I have never been approached for a menage a trois before and it just blew me away. Makes for interesting goings on at a boring place. I wonder what tomorrow will bring...what will Hottie do to try to convince me to come to the dark side. He is so certain that I am one wild n crazy girl and that I have surely done a threesome before. Hell, most of the time it has been a onesome--but I won't go there!

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Monday, November 26, 2007
Heaven


#1 Cousin is really smart and funny. She spits out one-liners like a professional comedian. She is also a hostess extraordinaire! She had my favorite cookies--linzer tarts waiting with a cup of tea when I finally got there at 1am on Thursday. As she looked at my blissful face munching away at the cookie, licking powdered sugar from fingers and lips she said, "If heaven were a baked good, this would be it for you."

Over the course of my visit, #1 Cousin and I pored over several Christmas cookie magazines. I have settled on several I intend to try out this season: Maple sugar leaf cookies, Triple Ginger cookies, Death by White Chocolate, and a Hershey kiss cookie.

What are some of your favorite holiday baked goods? Utenzi, a bag of sugar does not count as a baked good, btw. Share those recipes!!!!

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Friday, November 23, 2007
Sassyleigh Cruises Into the Past

Hope everyone had a delightful Thanksgiving! I know I did! I ate some yummy food (but not too much) and went for a lovely after dinner walk. The weather in NJ was beautiful yesterday. As I previously mentioned in a summertime post, I cannot escape the full name usage here. Everywhere else, I am Sassy. I come up north and I am magically transported to Sassyleigh. When I was a kid, my mother would not allow me to be called anything other than Sassyleigh. If people shortened the name to Sassy, they got a stern lecture from her. Old habits truly die hard because here we are 39 (OMG!) years later and I am still called Sassyleigh. Although, my 3 year old cousin Cutie Patootie calls me Cousin Sassy.

I love this kid! He is proof, my cousin Jenn & I think, that men are drawn to big tits naturally and from a very young age. Every chance he got, he was burying his face in my chest or trying to touch the girls. I found it rather amusing. Kids are fascinated by the "fluffy pillows" or whatever the hell you care to call the girls. Cutie Patootie held my hand most of the way home last night. As he was dozing off in his car seat, he kept reaching out just to touch my hand or arm. It is a shame we are related and he is so young because he could be the ONE (joking, just joking here--don't get all bent out of shape people). But men could certainly learn something from Cutie Patootie--he was talkative, he kept asking me questions, he showed concern (Cousin Sassy open your eyes, you are missing the Rugrats), he was affectionate, and he Adores me!!!!!!

I went with my #1 cousin, Jenn, and her family unit to her Aunt Carol's for Thanksgiving. Carol grew up next to my mother. She pulled out a lot of old family pictures after dinner to look at. I was enjoying seeing pictures of Jenn's mom and dad (my aunt Mary & uncle Don) when I was blindsided by two pictures that included my mother! I could barely concentrate on any other pictures after I found those. My sister (mother of my beloved nieces) looks so much like my mom in the top picture that it is spooky. Here they are:



I have no idea what we are doing today on Black Friday. I know I am purchasing a few items online and we have the girl's night out to Casablanca for bellydancing (hold on Omar baby, I am coming) and some yummy Moroccan food. Yes, yes, I will post a picture if I am caught shimmying with the bellydancers! I think I am headed for some bagel-y goodness & an egg nog latte (the food here makes me NEVER want to go home to the south). Think my cousin would notice if I started dragging in the rest of the suitcases????????

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Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Happy Pre-Thanksgiving

Happy Pre-Thanksgiving everyone!!

Enjoy the food (I intend to.....my dear sweet #1 cuz has already ordered my favorite: linzer tart cookies) and the football games (I don't care about them).

Have safe passage if you are traveling.

SassyAssy is off to Philly!!

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Monday, November 19, 2007
Busy L'il Bee

Don't think there will be a DCF this week for the two people who actually enjoy it (Utenzi & Jerrster). It is a holiday week afterall. Guess my loyals will get over it & be back next Friday for the return of it.

I have been exploring some job options locally and I am contemplating expanding that search into a wider range. In between that, I have been taking care of my clients with their extra requests.

I am also trying to get laundry done and the monumental task of packing for a 4 day weekend. I have a hard time packing for short stays...ask anyone who has gone away with me for a weekend or who has had the pleasure of my company for a weekend....I come lugging a huge suitcase (full of coordinating outfits right down to accessories) and my lappy. Can't live without the lappy. I am exhausted just thinking of it...I mean--what do I wear to a Moroccan restaurant??????? Pants, dress? Casual-dressy or dressed to the 9's? My CFM red shoes or more conservative black knee-high boots? Leopard coat or rain jacket? Decisions!!!

I went to see Beowulf yesterday....it was interesting. First of all, it is entirely computerized which I was not expecting. The details were incredible. No naked men dammit--just teased with strategically placed items over the hero's abdominal region. Of course, Angelina was full-blown naked with some gold paint in certain places. Give me a break--we can see her tits & coochie but no penis????

Mz. Sassykat received her xmas present early--today in fact. I got a lead on "Happy Cat" kitty pheromone electric diffuser. I am so hoping it does as it promises and calms her down to the point she ceases her "vertical scratching" also known as tearing the hell outta the door jambs in my apartment and shredding various & sundry things. Let's not forget the little "presents" she leaves me when she feels slighted. Just in time for my exit to Philly. Guess I will find out if it works when I return and the apartment is still in one piece.

I found the perfect tango dress for my charity dance. I will need to do a bit of tweaking but I should look pretty hot in my new dress once I am done with it. I need to shorten it, add a thigh high slit, add some more glitter to the neckline & viola! Perfecto!

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Saturday, November 17, 2007
So What Else Is New

I have received emails and comments asking what happened with the meeting I had with the CPA. Well, we did not come to terms satisfactory to me. He has a dickhead of a senior partner who still holds the purse strings until he officially retires. He does not like women. Need I say more? So, the discussion has been tabled per my request until said dickhead is gone. *sigh* It is a man's world still. So....I have been exploring other career avenues including moving elsewhere. Not sure where it will all lead, but then I have learned to live my life by the seat of my pants. Not that this is how I would like things, but until the right path is revealed or I stumble upon it--what can I do? I am keeping the career options open.

My fusion exercise class was incredible and my students loved it! Even my singular male student is still raving about it. I compiled a kick-ass music cd and we worked up a great sweat and had a lot of fun in the process. The compliments are still coming on the class....wow! It has been a good 15 years since I taught an exercise class...girl's still got it!

The Philly/NJ trip is getting better by the minute. My cousin Jen and I are so alike it is amazing. I am 8 years older than her (or something like that) and we only saw each other on my summertime trips to NJ. Our upbringings were quite different too and yet....we arrive at the same place on so many things now. She and I are more alike than my sisters and I. I love talking with her--she has that sassy spiciness that I feel comfortable with and she is a straight shooter, which I find refreshing. Anyway, my #1 cuz has planned a girl's night out to a Moroccan restaurant to see some bellydancing. I cannot wait. The last time I saw some bellydancing, I was pulled out of my chair by one of the dancers and I danced with her. That dancer said I was a natural! I doubt that will happen this time, but who knows? I will take some pics and I have no doubt that Jen will snap some shots if I end up dancing with Omar the male bellydancer.

I did a LOT of dancing this weekend. Last night was the dance social at the dance studio where I take lessons. A typical social for me involves mass quantities of white wine and a few dances with each of my two teachers and the occasional octogenarian there. I had no hopes for it being any different this week. Well, Sassy girl was dancing so much that I only had time for one glass of wine. All the male teachers danced with me multiple times and no octogenarians had a chance to even ask me. I got up bright and early this morning for my dance lesson. I was the darling of the studio because I treated everyone to Starbucks. I worked on the Samba and the swing. I work muscles I didn't even know existed....so much goes into dancing: the right steps, holding frame, looking elegant and I love every bit of it. My teachers love my enthusiasm and the sheer joy that lights my face up as I improve my dancing. I think I have been signed up to do a charity dance on 12/15 for the Make a Wish Foundation....doing my favorite dance--the Tango. Now I need to find a dress.

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Friday, November 16, 2007
It's DCF Once Again!

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Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Princess and the Mattress

I have been wondering what to blog about and this little piece has been hanging around my mind.

I think I have found the most incredible bed. It is a king with a mattress and memory foam and who knows what else (well, the owner does) so piled high, I needed a ladder to get onto it. This bed is like sleeping on a cloud and the only thing that could possible improve it would be the addition of some silk sheets.

I had to parachute outta of it to get off, but I rushed back to it as quickly as I could. If I slept in that bed every night I would definitely have issues getting up in the morning. Since I am not a morning person, I don't need any more reasons to stay put in bed. Of course, there are other incentives that go with the bed that make staying in it even more enticing.

I believe a whole lot of problems could be solved if more people slept in beds like this...think world peace because of no aching backs, think pleasant co-workers and bosses because they actually got a good nite's sleep. Perhaps that is taking it a bit far, but I know it works for me. I definitely woke up a lot happier and even a bit rested despite a marked lack of sleep.

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Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Sassy Stopped in Her Tracks

Yup, it finally happened! I got my first ticket in 24.5 years of driving. The cop that pulled me over was barely out of the Clearsil stage so I could not bring myself to even bat my eyes a little. I took it with an inner smirk at myself....for all those times I could have been busted and wasn't...karma reminded me it was time to pay the piper. The cop was nice though and he dropped the ticket to just going 9 miles over the speed limit and frankly, I am grateful. You see Virginia has changed the fines structure and a ticket that was formerly $200 at most, can now run as high as $1100. I may call to see if I go to a Safe Driver Class if I can get some sort of brownie points to offset the points now on my formerly clean driving record.

Guess that cruise control will be used a bit more from now on. In unrelated news:

Tonight I teach my first exercise class in a longgggg time. I have some good music picked out and I have the exercises floating in my head. This will be a fusion class...some pilates, a little bellydancing, some ballet, weight training....it will hopefully be a cornucopia of fun. My students are excited...lets see if they still are when we are done tonight.

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Sunday, November 11, 2007
Tagged by Evercurious

A. The rules of the game are posted at the beginning.

B. Each player list 6 facts/habits/secrets about themselves.

C. At the end of the post, the player then tags people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.

My 6 facts/habits/secrets:

1. When I was a lot younger, I had a violent reaction to novacaine at my dental office and to this day, he has a huge note posted in my file that reads: "Under no circumstances should this patient receive novacaine shots." When I have intensive dental work done, I only receive laughing gas.

2. My first bouquet of flowers from a boy was given to me by my first love, Richie, at the tender age of 5 (him) and 3 (me). It was a bunch of buttercups that he had picked for me.

3. I have the black thumb of death when it comes to plants--except lavender. I can grow lavender anywhere--even in NE where it should not have survived the brutal summer.

4. My morning ritual includes hitting the snooze button 4 times...I hate morning and I tend to snuggle under the covers and pillow to hide from the light.

5. I was told this weekend that my kisses (and other things) were "blogworthy". But you won't be reading about them here in any further detail.

6. I am going to spend Thanksgiving in NJ this year with my super cool cousin Jen and her family (hmmm is there trouble afoot this year for NJ with the two of us devious females hanging together????)

I think I will tag Smug (you need your cherry popped with being tagged), Jerrster and Utenzi as I am quite curious to see what is on their list. Come on Utenzi--it is the least you can do for me :).

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Friday, November 09, 2007
Deep Cleavage Friday

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Thursday, November 08, 2007
Today's the Day

Wish me luck! I go to meet with my CPA/possible future partner. It sounds really good so far and if things are worked out to my satisfaction, I will begin working next week with him. I am psyched especially since my biggest client is a freakin pain in the ass and he has taken advantage of me one too many times recently. He gave me an ultimatum, expecting me to be forced to take his offer of less money/more work. He must be brain dead to think I would take that sh*t. He can hire someone who will screw up his books once again....Sassy has left the building.

November is shaping up to be quite exciting for so many reasons (career change, divorce, decent men to date). I plan to celebrate with a little champagne (okay, I lied--a LOT of champagne) once I know what the hell is going on with my career.

*Cheers to me*

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Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Perfect Girl

According to a test I took on OKcupid.com, I am close to the perfect dream girl (woohoo--now if only that really meant some thing):


Your Score: Sex Kitten

Out of 100, you scored 77 personality points, 78 intelligence points and 85 sexuality points. Should I bow to your hotness?

You're pretty damn close to the perfect girl! Drop me a message sometimes!

I would be honored to hear from you :)




Link: The Perfect Girl - part 2 Test written by OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

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Tuesday, November 06, 2007
Hauled Off to the Police?

NJ Guy had to reschedule our date tonight because he forgot he was going to see the Police and Fiction Plane. I told him, I would reschedule a date with me too for that reason. Anyway, he may possibly be able to get his hands on a ticket from one of his friends who may not be able to go after all. I am keeping my fingers crossed that he can make it happen. Hell, I will let him handcuff me and be his prison bitch if he can pull this off! I love Sting and would jump at the opportunity to see him play with the newly reunited Police.

Metrosexual Man on the other hand, wants to take me not only to Paris, but Rome, Barcelona, London and a few points in between. If this works out, after tax season is going to be the bomb! He even mentioned he could make my Tahiti dream come true. Again, all in the speculating stage and I will believe it when I am on the plane with a glass of champagne in one hand and Metro Hottie Guy holding the other one.

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Monday, November 05, 2007
Whys & Wherefores

Why am I attracting a bevy of bisexual men?

Why is a cross dresser interested in me?

Will planning a trip to Paris with Metrosexual Man be jinxed like all my (canceled) beach trips?

Will the vibrating ring condom I bought provide a life changing experience?

Why can't I get rid of Anti-Engineer?

Why does phone sex not satisfy me like it seems to do with my male partners?

Why was a weird man following me last night in B&N?

Will there be a lot of handsome naked men in Beowulf?

Where did I put my remote control?

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Friday, November 02, 2007
Deep Cleavage Friday



I am bored so I am officially declaring today Deep Cleavage Friday. If any gal has a cleavage picture she wants to share, I will be glad to post it on my blog, just drop me an email...spread the word.

*Updated with Smug's contribution*

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