Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Honey, I Shrunk the Scorecard

Scorecard:

Biker Dude 10 out of 10

Everyone else? Gone to the Sassy Graveyard.

That should make it real easy for everyone to keep score now.

:)

Yeah, I know...you want details...as soon as I have more than 2 seconds I will spill.

Ta, dahlings!

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Saturday, November 25, 2006
Gobble Gobble


I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving (if you celebrate!).

I dragged my butt out of bed early Thursday morning to do a 3.3 mile charity walk. I am not a morning person, but I promised my friend I would be there. It was fun and invigorating. The event was the first one for this particular organization and they were shooting for 150 participants. They ended up with close to 1000 participants. Isn't that awesome? All 5 of us are going to do another charity walk in a couple of weeks. They are sort of addictive. Glad I can help while having some fun.

I spent my Thxgiving with these lovely people:

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We had a great time. We ate, we drank, we watched funny movies. It was the best Thanksgiving I have ever had!

Here is the update on the Sassy Dating World:

Bible boy has been around almost every day. Confusion reigns on this one. Especially when he looked me in the eye and asked me if I have ever let someone love me...you could have heard a pin drop. Then there was the gift he bought me...it was perfect...funky, ethnic jewelry set...something I would buy myself. The Ex never did get the jewelry purchasing for me correct in the 9 years we were together--that is, when he bothered with it. It was kind of spooky for me. Bible boy is gone for the weekend and we will be hooking up on Sunday nite.

Biker dude has been around every day. He is hysterical. I laugh til I cry with him. He told me he is really really into me...I just don't know that I am really really into him. He is a romantic...yeah, I got a romantic, sweet biker dude. He loves the fact that I walk to the beat of my own drum and that I am unique. He said he has never met a woman like me before. We spend hours on the phone and Im'ing and we never run out of conversation. Our next date is Monday nite (if I have not killed myself with the new yoga/tai ji class I have enrolled in).

Mr. DC 2006 is currently in the UK. He wants me to come with him on his next trip over there...I just might. I think I could put up with a boring engineer for a week in exchange for an all-expense paid trip to UK. We shall see if that was a legit invite.

Newbies on the scene:
Bob the air traffic man. He has been bugging me to come spend the evening with him at the airport (very small airport) while he tells everyone where to go. Have not done so yet. Probably see him next weekend. He is a widow with two girls. Another ex-military man. (I have a marine & naval guy in the queue).

Hottie Latino CPA. He has an incredible body & very very good looking. I don't think he is a CPA, but I was trying to give benefit of the doubt. He is being kicked to the curb because he whipped his (incredibly huge) willy out on webcam while we chatted. He has apparently run through all the women in his part of the state and is now looking further afield to spread his, uh, seed. 'Nuff said. Shame, he is hot, but I think he has been around too many blocks for my taste.

Mr. 26. This youngster wants to get to know me...I think I will pass...the age is a little off-putting especially after the book boy experience.

Having a Sassy Weekend:

I am taking a girl friend out of town for a salsa dance festival. She is feeling a bit down and I want to cheer her up. We are going shopping & dancing...two things we both love. Our aspirations are pretty simple: 1) have some drinks 2) dance with some guys 3)find some great bargins 4) laugh.

Ciao my darling blogger friends! I do miss you guys! If I can get the photo feature to work again I will post the latest greatest Sassy photo sometime this weekend. It just is not happening right now. You might be able to look at my Flickr box and see it though.

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Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Multi-Tasking

Last night when bible boy came over, I was IM'ing Harley man and Italian Stud #3 at the same time. It was a bit uncomfy for me. Then while bible boy & I are looking up something on the internet, a new admirer from Yahoo personals pops up on IM introducing himself, telling me how pretty he thinks I am. I felt like an Instant Message Whore. I got over it though.

Dinner was very nice last night as it has been with bible boy 99% of the time since I have known him. And the boy can do wonderous things with his mouth...visions of sugar plums dancing in my head wonderous things; Sassy weak-in-the-knees wonderous things...come hither to the bedroom right now and take me on the bed wonderous things. Lets just say dessert lasted quite a while. Lets just say Sassy is smilin' and tinglin today.

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Sunday, November 19, 2006
So Much Time, So Little News

WOW! I have been nominated for the
2006 Weblog Awards. So if you like my blog...head on over there. I am not sure who Greg is, but he nominated me...thanks a bunch!

The dating shoes did not quite make it to the box. I chatted with Harley man for 2 hours Saturday nite. It was a blast...he has a great sense of humor and is very easy to chat with. He thought the same about me. We then chatted for about 45 minutes this morning and ended up meeting for coffee. We spent two delightful hours together and as a bonus, he is a computer guy, so he tweaked my laptop for me. I got home and he sent me an IM to tell me how wonderful I looked and that he had a great time with me. Our next date is dinner sometime soon. Our date after that will be him cooking me dinner at his house and watching a movie. Kudos for Ryan for insisting I answer his email.

I got another wink from a Jeffrey. He is three hours from me, kinda cute. Wants me to come see him...not sure about that, but I agreed to chat with him sometime.

I have not kicked bible boy to the curb. I just feel so darn sorry for him and he did attempt to show up Saturday morning to help me move my furniture. However, a gal-pal rearranged her schedule and we had it finished by the time he showed up. So we are chatting last nite and he tells me he went on two meet-n-greets with potentials from the dating site we use. I asked if he had a good time. I am all for him seeing others. He then proceeds to tell me that they did not compare to me: not as sexy, not as fun to be with, not Sassy...

Dave, your comment on my last entry...I am certainly not lacking in dates and frankly, I thought I would be dateless for a long time to come. It is a nice feeling to have dates. I was just Mz. Crabcakes on Friday thanks to the ex. I went home, chilled, did homework, and went to bed early and that did wonders.

Bible boy finagled a dinner invite out of me for tomorrow nite for leftover Sassy Lasagna. I think Harley man will be calling tomorrow or the next day to arrange our date. Life is good at the moment.

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Friday, November 17, 2006
Ryan Says "I Told Ya So!"

Bible boy has been on the peripheral since last Saturday's "incident". Since then, we have 1) talked on the phone 2) IM'd 3) met for lunch 4) he came over to the house for a while and hung out. I do like him as in friends like. I try hard not to judge people because of issues and problems. I usually will not kick someone to the curb because of, say, a drug or alcohol problem (does not mean I will date them though). I invited him to a dinner party I am having Sunday nite and he accepted with delight.

Then yesterday, I sent bible boy an email requesting his help this weekend. I just need him to drive his car and let me load a few pieces of furniture in it. I told him I would not require him to lift or carry a thing. I just don't have room in my car for all three pieces of furniture I have to pick up. Has he responded yet? NO! Did he get the email? YES! I asked him about it via IM last night. He said he did get the email, but did not give me an answer and got off the IM pretty quickly. I shoot him another IM later to find out what was up with him. No response. So I get up this morning to an IM that is real chatty about this healthy eating seminar he went to, but again no response to my plea for help. Nada zip! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Ryan's take is that he has been drinking again--hence the dual personality again. She must be right. So I think I will save myself further aggravation and kick him officially to the curb. Just irritates the hell outta me. Say yes or no to the help...such a stupid, childish way to be.

Another irritation this week: Mr. DC 2006 has been IMing. He is nice looking, but he is an engineer. A dull, quiet engineer with no sense of humor. I really should post the archive of our exciting chat the other night (it is kept on my laptop at home and I am doing this from the office). And he keeps coming back for more? Is he a sado-masochist? He appears about as enthusiastic about our chats as a corpse. He met my suggestion that we meet with a "yea". That was it!

Ryan gave the three thumbs up to Mr. Harley man. He is a bald (I guess sorta cute?) harley driving guy who contacted me on the dating site. I agreed to chat with him (after Ryan insisted that I respond positively to his request). Have not done so yet, sure that will happen this weekend. Maybe Ryan has a better sense about all these men cause she has puked at the mention of all the others except for Harley man and clearly since the rest are on the Dating Graveyard Hall of Fame, she has been right. I just don't see me wearing leather chaps and a funky harley helmut cruising down the highway of love.

Clearly, things are happening to make me appreciate being a single carefree chick. I could be in a relationship with alcoholic bible boy; I could be having horrid, unfulfilling sex with book boy on a regular basis; I could still be with the ex waiting to stab him or me with a plastic spoon. I am just going to have a great weekend and enjoy my solitude, my friends, my cat, my freedom. I don't want drama, I don't want emotional trauma and apparently the dating world is an either or situation where I am concerned. I think I am going to not just hang up, but box up, these damn dating shoes. I think my sense of humor took a hike during an IM session.

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Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Come Hither

I said I was hanging up my dating shoes--not! Yahoo personals reeled me back in with promises of exciting dates. So, Caleb is potential #1. He has actually emailed me and we have arranged to meet for coffee after Thanksgiving. This is what Caleb's (age 43) write up says:

Busy professional who does not take the time to make his self available. I am easy going but very active, love to laugh, have fun and enjoy life. Also have a serious side when needed. Confident with out being arrogant. Born in a small town in New York State but reborn a Southerner. I believe in trust, respect, and thoughtfulness but communication is what makes or breaks a relationship. Ambitious,energetic,hard working, and passionate about the important things in life. Never married, physical fit, and lives with a cat. (The neighbors are starting to talk.) I enjoy travel, reading, sports, cooking, metal detecting, (No white socks and sandals) wine, movies on T.V., music (Blues and classic rock.)Looking for someone with a sense of humor who does not sweat the small stuff, life is to short. Whom is emotionally healthy...we all come with some baggage with life's experiences but please don't fill the trunk. Someone whom is self confident and believes in herself through life's ups and downs. Someone who likes to dress up and hit the town as well as stay in with a glass of wine (Or beverage of choice.) get comfy with good music and a board game. Most importantly someone whom is kind to herself and others. So give me a contact and we'll see if both of us can save some money on these monthly membership fees.

I initiated contact with this email: "Is ------- {town} where I think it is? You sound very interesting, would you like to meet for coffee?" (I know, not very original, but over 70% of the time, no one responds to the stupid intro emails anyway).

His response, "SassyAssy, Thanks for the email. Would like to get together sometime for coffee. I'll be in and out of town the next two weeks on business. I'll drop you a email when it slows down.

Keep enjoying those lattes, Caleb"


Candidate #2 has attempted to contact me via IM, but no email. This is the scoop on him:

Jack's profile starts by saying he wants a woman who knows what she wants. His write up reads:

would love to meet a confident woman who knows what she wants and likes to have a good time....there is nothing more sexy on a woman than confidence...... are you her?..............................................................................

So, I send the following witty intro email, "Wow, a guy who is not intimidated by a confident, goal-oriented woman...are you for real?"

Now, as I have said, he has not emailed back, he did try to IM me, but I was not at the laptop. I Im'd him back and apologized. He added me to his IM list, but has not attempted to contact me. I probably should just send him straight to the graveyard, me-thinks.

So, Utenzi, Dave & Mz. B--what does all this translate in real life terms? Break it down for me! Let's just make this a free-for-all and maybe place some bets here. Let's make this dating/waiting thingy fun & exciting...possibly this game will be way more interesting than the actual outcome. So what are the odds I will actually hear from these guys ever again???

PS--Ghosts from my graveyard are reaching out. B-boy aka #1 boy has apologized a million times for bad boy behavior over weekend. To redeem self, he has invited me to have Thxgiving with his family...probably won't, but hey, the thought counts for something. Then Mr. DC 2006, popped up the other day on IM (again I was not around--actually it was same night as Jack's attempt). Maybe he wanted to try to convince me to do a webcast striptease again.

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Saturday, November 11, 2006
The Shoe Dropped and the Sex Goddess Fled (for good)

Tonight was a date night. I got dressed up and smelling pretty. I arrived a few minutes late and #1 was not ready for me. I finally get invited in and there I was greeted by a stranger. A spacey, mean, accusatory stranger. Sassy sashayed her assy right out the door and ran to her car far, far away from bible boy. Bible boy apparently has a wee alcohol problem.

At least I am culling them early this time, eh? So condom boxes remain dust collectors and I am hanging up the dating shoes for a while. When I do decide to start up again, I think I will hire Utenzi and Dave to prescreen the candidates...that will save me a lot of time.

The new and improved graveyard:

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Thursday, November 09, 2006
Reign of the Sex Goddess

We had a great date last night. #1 boy thinks I am a great cook, incredible decorator, and (of course!) adorable. The twins garnered a lot of attention in their showstopping top.

The End

Ryan and I were discussing bad sex today. I commented that bad sex encounters should not count toward anything. If this is true, I think the last time I really had sex was 2000. The sad state of affairs must change, they must! Ryan is going to start a prayer chain for me to get laid. Tee hee!

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Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Steaming in the Morning

The s**t hits the fan on almost a daily basis at my client's office. I usually am able to duck and dive with some success. However, the powers to be have taken to assigning new tasks to me without telling me. This week I am getting hounded about commission checks. I am like wtf? I don't do that except to write the checks based on a figure given to me by the president. So I am informed via email "Oh yeah, that is your task now". So I go grab the spreadsheets and I think "How hard can this be, really?" Can you say unreadable? Chinese puzzle? I have never seen such a mess, so I still cannot provide an answer on commissions and I am left hanging waiting for enlightment whilst being pounded by the sales people. Like I enjoy getting their irate phone calls, like I have some stake in not writing their checks.

Then, this morning...again with the crap, again with being given tasks that I never asked for and was not asked about. Somehow, since starting here, I was roped into approving credit terms for certain clients...I base my decision on past performance. Apparently, my decision for a client yesterday was not well-received. So I sent an email to the P to B and said please please just take me out of this process. I don't know how it happened, but I never wanted this anyway. I am a step-up-to-the-plate kind of girl, but don't dump & run on me. Don't bulldoze me down when I make a decision based on available information.

Okay, I got that off my chest.

On a bright note, one of my co-workers just got back from NYC. I had him get me some BAGELS and linzer tarts. How I have been craving some excellent baked goods. God bless that man! And now I have dessert for #1 boy tonight. Yes, tonight, if all goes well, if the planets are aligned, #1 will be coming over for dinner. Got the candles out, the wine chilling, perfect outfit laid out...just got to make the dinner. Wish me luck!

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Monday, November 06, 2006
Movin Up

So...I am going to have to change bible boy's nickname (he is not as he seems and that is a good thing). I just have not decided what that name will be yet. Booty call boy? Babelicious boy? Loverboy? Time will tell. For now, he will be #1 boy. #1 wants to whisk me off for a weekend. I said (drumroll please) yes.

What has changed Sassy? you ask as you scratch your heads in puzzlement. I don't know, except to say that we have been doing a lot of talking and the more we talk, the more I like him. And that spark that was missing? It was just a delayed ignition. So perhaps, just perhaps I have the right combo: hottie + respect + available + great sex?????

Most importantly, he understands where I am at right now and there is no pressure from him. He is letting me advance the friendship as fast or slow as I want. How can I resist someone who thinks I am a sex goddess? For now, for today, it is enough.

(Sassy smiles to herself)

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Friday, November 03, 2006
Maxxed Out

Well, lunch with Max finally (and barely) happened. He is a nice, intelligent guy and attractive. I was sitting there at lunch wishing I was someplace else. Nothing against him, I just don't think we have anything in common. He asked me to call him and set up a date for going to the movies--which he cancelled without explanation a while back. So I will need to add another name to my graveyard.

Bible boy is still around. Many emails have been shared between us to hammer out exactly what page we are each on. His initial response even garnered the approval of the biggest cynic I know--Ryan. Soooooo, we have been IM'ing and emailing and we are having dinner on Wednesday night.

No dates planned for the weekend (thank goodness!!). I need to recharge my batteries.

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Thursday, November 02, 2006
Right outside my front door...

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Wednesday, November 01, 2006
ADDD

Attention Deficit Dating Disorder

Last night was date #2 with bible boy. All in all it was a great date. I had a delightful evening with a very attentive man. I enjoyed the compliments: You look great tonight, you have terrific fashion sense, you are sexy (and yes, your chest is amazing!)...the list goes on...and yes, my head got a little big. Bible boy is a good listener and he said he was spellbound by my storytelling abilities.

I just don't get the bible boy + heathen girl dynamic, but a friend came up with a answer: I am a challenge to him, someone he can rescue. I think my friend got it right because bible boy thinks I am the answer to his prayers and that God sent me to him. The fallacy of this statement is this: wouldn't God inform me that bible boy is the answer to my prayers? Oops forgot, I don't pray anymore.

In another lifetime I would have considered bible boy the perfect catch for me. I do find him attractive (although the sexual spark is not there like it was/is with book boy) and he treats me very well. It is just...bible boy is making long-term plans for us to travel the globe together. I kid you not. This, despite me telling him I just want to be friends and I'm not ready for a relationship. Sex would be good, but that would = commitment to him. I got an email from him today and he has already planned our next date around mapping out our travel plans. My eye is twitching and I feel like I am suffocating. Yikes! Calgon take me away. Ryan's advice is to sit him down and explain how hectic my life will be from now til 2009 with my new business, graduating in July and going straight into my masters program. I don't know that he will hear me. So I am open to suggestions--bring them on.

I really would like to meet a man with the sexual chemistry, charm, and intelligence of book boy and the sweetness and honesty of bible boy. I wonder if such a man exists?? Anyway, I am losing interest fast in the whole dating thingy. Some fabulous sex with an available hottie who treats me with respect would be nice, but me thinks I am not going to find that....somehow something will be left out of the equation as my experience with book boy taught me: hottie + fabulous sex; hottie + respect; hottie + no respect + not so hot sex + unavailable. I am sure there are more equations, but I am equationed out right now.

Big Max Attack
Max has been MIA since the day after our date--until today. I got back from lunch and there was an email waiting for me from Max (sent at 11:58 am), "SassyAssy, if it is not too late, would you have lunch with me?" Tsk Tsk--you guys should know better than to ask a girl out last minute. We shall see if he responds to my email...Italian stud #1 storyline will apparently continue much to my surprise.
Scoop on the Poop
Mz. SassyKat finally decided to eat & poop (in her litterbox thankfully!). We are locked in a battle of wills--she wants me to turn on the tub facet so her highness can have fresh running
water because my stepson used to do this for her. I am determined that she will drink the fresh water in her bowl. She is actually trying to turn the handle--she is no dummy. She took her revenge by waking mama up every hour on the hour for a rubdown.
Static
I just cannot summon enough fake enthusiasm for my new class, business statistics.This is what I heard tonight: "Data, blah blah blah, outliers, blah blah blah." I even left my laptop at home so I would resist the temptation to blog...I worked on my blog the old fashion way--pen to paper. Then there was the annoying classmate who thinks she knows everything and answers every question. How many questions will she get wrong before she shuts the hell up??? Every single answer she gave was wrong. Maybe the sound of her loud obnoxious voice has caused her hearing loss. How else to explain her? I would love to gag her each week.
Snazzy Retro Girl
My hair stylist gave me a new style that she calls the snazzy retro girl look. She said I was the only client of hers who could pull off such a funky style. It is short and raspy. I might get around to taking a pic so ya'll can see it.

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