I breathed a sigh of relief today at approximately 10:00am when I loaded the last box of belongings from the ex's house. Except for one more trip to get SassyKat, I am done with that life, those memories. I received validation this week on my suspicions that he has been seeing someone for quite some time. I don't care, he is her problem now, but it got me wondering at what point do you know a relationship is over? I mean the more subtle clues: when you stop talking about meaningful things; when you realize you have not seen that person in a while and you don't care; when you don't think about the other person's feelings; when our thoughts lead us down the road of blaming the other person for our unhappiness.

Maybe we are not meant to be with just one person...marriage should have the option to be renewed each year. Frankly, marriage has left a bad taste in my mouth and I cannot imagine going down that path again. I think people fall into two categories: free spirits and relationship-bound. I just wish I had realized oh-so long ago that I am the free-spirit type. I don't need to be in a relationship to find fulfillment. I enjoy my alone time and the freedom to go when and where I want without taking into account someone else. Don't get me wrong, I love sex and I enjoy male attention, but the daily chore of being with someone is not for me. I really subscribe to the K.T. Oslin philosophy of "Live Close By, Visit Often".

Friends have been calling often to check up on me since I moved into my apartment. Friends making sure that I am holding on emotionally. That means more to me than any wedding band. One good thing that has come out of the train wreak I called a marriage is a small fortress of friends who have rallied around me. For the first time in a long time I feel blessed with unselfish love. Despite being sick as a dog, my friend Ryan trooped over to my house at 7:15 this morning to help me get 100% moved. I had to twist her arm to let me buy her lunch as a thank you. She did not complain about the boot camp workout I put her through one last time, but she did make me promise to hire professional movers if I move again.

I have slipped through so many doors of change recently; I have exchanged false friends for true, real family for an adopted, motley assortment of family, a false lover for a place of my own. I don't normally like change, but I am embracing it more and more. I don't understand the forces that causes friends to lose touch, to lose love, but I do know that ultimately everthing that happens works out for the best and that truth will always reveal itself whether we wish it or not.

Labels: dating, friends, moving, sex, the Ex

I am sitting in my managerial accounting class and quite obviously I am not paying attention. I have spent the last hour cruising blogs. After a while, variable and fixed costs lose to the more estwhile adventures to be found in blogger world.

Anyway, today I got a very interesting invitation from this guy I know through work. We have spoken on the phone and emailed, mostly about business, but lately it has gotten personal. Long story short, he invited me to visit him in DC. No firm plans have been made, but he is a hottie and much younger than I am...can you say tempted? I googled him and mamma mia. Then he started sending me pictures of him on his weekend adventures and he looks even better than the google photos.

Also, the male coworker that wants to rent my 2nd bedroom started up his campaign again. I just can't decide...will he sit around in his tighty whities? Will he expect to be entertained? Will he leave my extra bathroom a wet mess? The extra $$$$ would be very very nice... 1/2 my rent.

The adventure continues....

Labels: dating, school

Jaws just cracked me up the other day with her
post. So I am reading my new self-help book last night,The Bad Girl's Guide To Getting Personal by Cameron Tuttle and low & behold on page 39 is "Things to do with...Pantiliners. A sample of suggestions:
1. Blot lipstick
2. Tape his mouth shut
3. Use two on each nipple for floral-shaped pasties
4. Decorate with rhinestones and glitter to make fab femme-power cuff bracelets.

What creative ways would you use pantiliners?

Ciao dahlings! Off to get some beauty rest (hey I can use pantiliners for a sleep mask!).

Labels: fun stuff

To SassyAssy's Pity Party.

I hate chaos and my apartment is the epicenter of chaos right now. I just want to get unpacked and settled in...but my god! I have so much stuff. I took 4 bags of clothes to Goodwill and I have two containers of books to take to the used bookstore. I have so much art and craft stuff that I just cannot part with. I still have a motherlode of stuff to haul out of the hubby's house before he dumps it on the lawn. I have a friend coming to install my closet organizer tomorrow, so I should be able to get the bedroom straight.

I slept most of my day away today...I just could not deal with the emotional morass I am in. I am worried about SassyKat. I left her behind with her sister (my stepson's cat) because I did not want to separate the kitties and I knew my stepson wanted to keep them together. I made him promise to watch after SassyKat so hubby would not be mean to her. I go over to the house today and the house was hot--no a/c on, no windows opened, the food & water bowl empty--and both hubby & stepson are gone for the weekend. I rectified the situations, but still I am worried. SassyKat is my baby. I guess once I get my apartment in order I will move her in.

My fingers and toes need some TLC. I need to book a mani/pedi and find the time for it. I hate raggy looking nails...makes me feel unattractive. I am achy all over from hauling ass up three flights of steps with boxes of stuff until my arms feels like spaghetti. I need to book a massage (fortunately one of my friends has a massage therapy business).

And shouldn't showerheads that spit droplets of water be outlawed? That is getting changed tomorrow.

On the bright side, I love having a DVR and digital cable. I love living close to my friends. I love that I am 8 classes from my BBA. I love being 1 minute from work. I love that I am not suffocating emotionally in a hostile home environment. I love the VH1 Classics channel in the morning so I can flashback to my youth. I love that cooler weather is here. I love being able to blog freely again. I love that my legs and butt are looking quite toned. I love that the cute guy in my favorite bookstore (who reminds me of Steve, Miranda's boyfriend in Sex and the City) flirts with me. I love Haagen Das Mayan Chocolate ice cream.

Labels: moving, SassyKat, the Ex

I love to read (just ask everyone who has hauled my boxes of books up to my apartment). I discovered audiobooks earlier this year. I always sniffed with disdain at books on tape because I love the aroma of a new book, the smoothness of the paper, and the illustrations on the book jacket. I like the actual process of reading and turning the pages. Well, many months later and I have accumulated a stack of audiobooks. The current one is the book Wicked by Gregory Maguire. The very Wicked that the Broadway play is based on. This book is a fascinating peek into the land of Oz and how the Wicked Witch came into being. I find myself whisked off to Oz everytime I get into my car. This is a must-read or must-listen. SassyAssy gives 3 thumbs up.

Labels: books

My day just sucked. First, my client handed me a new list of "priorities". Now I don't mind priorities, but they cannot all be the number 1 priority like he wants. This conversation took place at 7am. I don't even know if I was really awake yet, so maybe it was just a nightmare...that continued.

At noon, the hubby calls to berate me and reiterate I need to get my "crap" out of the house (like yesterday). So, I call the retail store to tell them that I would not be able to come in either tonight or Saturday because I have to finish moving or else. My supervisor screamed at me that this was not acceptable. I don't normally call last minute like this, but I really would like to have my stuff and if I leave it there much longer, hubby will toss it all. I also worked a mother-lode for the store during August--the month I had off from school and planned to use that time to pack...did not happen because of my work schedule. So, I sent a resignation letter to my boss at the store. This job was a fun thing to do, but the time has come to move on. I make more money doing accounting & consulting rather than ring up a bunch of bitchy, witchy, grumpy customers.

Now that I have my griping out of my system, I have to say, that I have three really terrific people in my life at the moment and I want to honor them: Ryan, Opal, and Sherry. These girls have been working their ass off right beside me to get packed, moved, and unpacked. I honestly don't know what I would do without them. Of course, the added bonus for them helping me is what I call the "bootcamp workout". I live on the third floor of a walk up...mix that with many many boxes and legs, butt, biceps get a major toning.

Labels: friends, moving, the Ex, work

The other day I was working at my favorite clothing store when I look up and catch sight of an old boyfriend. We dated when I was 18-19. Jeff and I worked together and we gradually drifted into a relationship. He has a way with words and he could tell the most serious of stories and make me laugh until I cried. I have not seen him in at least 3 years. The last I knew, he was married and had a couple of kids. I never did like his wife (and she did not care for me). I thought she was a biotch and not very nice to Jeff, but hey, I was not the one marrying her, so I kept my mouth shut.

Anyway, I called Jeff over. He was so happy to see me and vice versa. The first thing I noticed was the earring in his left ear, the flamboyant clothing, the rings on his fingers, and the obviously gay man with him. I was dying of curiousity so after we got the preliminaries out of the way, I asked how his wife was. He told me he spent 17 years with her and that was more than long enough.

So my old flame is now a flamer. Thankfully, my feelings for him are of the friendship variety or I would be crushed. Obviously, my "gaydar" was not in existence when we dated, but 20 years later it is on full alert. Jeff and I exchanged numbers and as soon as I get settled into the new place, I plan to have dinner with him and make him dish. I just want to know when he realized he was gay--did the harridan wife push him over to the other side? I need a good laugh and with the teaser line that his trashy ex now lives in a trailer and sports tattoos, well I think I had better not wear mascara when we go out.

Labels: dating, gaydar, work

and the winds of change were whirling around. I am now part of the single world again. I recently separated and moved into an awesome apartment. In fact, the biggest part of the move took place yesterday when we moved the furniture in. As with any move, I had moments when I was close to a meltdown organizing the moving crew. One thing I learned...just spend the damn money to hire professional movers instead of relying on friends, family, and acquaintances. The upside to the move was reconnecting with my older brother. He was my knight-in-shining armor in the eleventh hour.

I have been savoring my new found freedom living in a strictly feminine domain and I feel "at home" finally. I enjoy sprawling across the entire bed and leaving lights on all over the house if I want. Of course, men are ready to invade. My dance partner (who also came to my rescue and helped me move) has decided that my huge selection of movies, surround sound, and new LCD TV are selling points in favor of hanging out here. I have another male acquaintance who wants to rent my spare bedroom. I just am not ready for the testosterone levels to rise yet. Another thing I love about being on my own is the privacy factor. I now have the time and freedom to blog.

Viva La Freedom! Viva La Single!

Labels: moving, the Ex